Note to self: no matter how bad life gets, there's always beer. — Norm MacDonald
Beer: Helping ugly people have sex since 3000 B. C. — W. C. Fields
Beer makes you feel the way you ought to feel without beer. — Henry Lawson
Whiskey's to tough, Champagne costs too much, Vodka puts my mouth in gear. I hope this refrain, Will help me explain, As a matter of fact, I like beer. — Tom T. Hall
Beer and Rugby are more or less synonymous. — Chris Laidlaw
The mouth of a perfectly happy man is filled with beer. — Egyptian Proverbs
Ale, man, ale's the stuff to drink for fellows whom it hurts to think. — A.E. Housman
Whoever drinks beer, he is quick to sleep; whoever sleeps long, does not sin; whoever does not sin, enters Heaven! Thus, let us drink beer! — Martin Luther
Money can't buy happiness—but it can buy beer. — Gary Reilly
Short Beer Quotes
I'm not God but if I were God, ¾ of you would be girls, and the rest would be pizza and beer. — Axl Rose
Bad men live that they may eat and drink, whereas good men eat and drink that they may live. — Socrates
Give me a woman who loves beer and I will conquer the world. — Wilhelm II
Give me a woman who loves beer and I will conquer the world. — Kaiser Wilhelm
A bartender is just a pharmacist with a limited inventory. — Albert Einstein
A bottle of wine contains more philosophy than all the books in the world. — Louis Pasteur
Some people wanted champagne and caviar when they should have had beer and hot dogs. — Dwight D. Eisenhower
Men are nicotine soaked, beer besmirched, whiskey greased, red-eyed devils. — Carry Nation
Men are nicotine soaked, beer besmirched, whiskey greased, red-eyed devils. — Carrie Nation
Milk is for babies. When you grow up you have to drink beer. — Arnold Schwarzenegger
Beer Image Quotes
Football, beer, and above all gambling, filled up the horizon of their minds. To keep them in control was not difficult.
On victory, you deserve beer. On defeat, you need it. — Napoleon Bonaparte
Everybody's got to believe in something. I believe I'll have another beer. — W. C. Fields
I'm gaining weight the right way: I'm drinking beer. — Johnny Damon
I envy people who drink. At least they have something to blame everything on. — Oscar Levant
Everybody thinks I drink beer but I actually like cider! — Prince William
Give my people plenty of beer, good beer, and cheap beer, and you will have no revolution among them. — Queen Victoria
Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach him how to fish, and he will sit in a boat and drink beer all day. — George Carlin
Many battles have been fought and won by soldiers nourished on beer, and the King does not believe that coffee-drinking soldiers can be relied upon to endure hardships in case of another war. — Frederick the Great
I'll drink responsibly when there's a beer called "Responsibly"
A drunk was in front of a judge. The judge says "You've been brought here for drinking." The drunk says "Okay, let's get started. — Henny Youngman
I was an anorexic, beer drinking, class cutting, doodling, shoplifting, skater chick that was into nature, art class, and the beach. — Rebecca Miller
Beer is the Danish national drink, and the Danish national weakness is another beer. — Clementine Paddleford
Beer is not a good cocktail-party drink, especially in a home where you don't know where the bathroom is. — Billy Carter
I aimed at the public's heart, and by accident I hit it in the stomach. — Upton Sinclair
I never had one beer. If I bought a six-pack of beer, I kept drinking till all six beers were gone. You have to have that kind of understanding about yourself. I haven't had a drink now in 12 years. — Samuel L. Jackson
It is better to think of church in the ale-house than to think of the ale-house in church. — Martin Luther
Brewing Beer Quotes
How well I remember my first encounter with The Devil'ss Brew. I happened to stumble across a case of bourbon - and went right on stumbling for several days thereafter. — W. C. Fields
We could not now take time for further search or consideration, our victuals being much spent, especially our beer. — William Bradford
You can only drink 30 or 40 glasses of beer a day, no matter how rich you are. — Adolphus Busch
Life, alas, is very drear. Up with the glass! Down with the beer! — Louis Untermeyer
We brewers don't make beer, we just get all the ingredients together and the beer makes itself. — Fritz Maytag
How to Overthrow the System: brew your own beer; kick in your Tee Vee; kill your own beef; build your own cabin and piss off the front porch whenever you bloody well feel like it. — Edward Abbey
A woman is like beer. They look good, they smell good, and you'd step over your own mother just to get one! — Matt Groening
Who cares how time advances? I am drinking ale today. — Edgar Allan Poe
If you think about brewing, it is biotechnology. And I would say that I was a technologist at heart. So whether I... fermented beer or whether I fermented enzymes, the base technology was the same. — Kiran Mazumdar-Shaw
Cold Beer Quotes
When I get a chance to play golf or go on a boat with good people, take the boat out and put some lobsters on the grill, get the ice-cold beer and the cigars - that's heaven here on earth. — Bernie Mac
Beer has long been the prime lubricant in our social intercourse and the sacred throat-anointing fluid that accompanies the ritual of mateship. To sink a few cold ones with the blokes is both an escape and a confirmation of belonging. — Rennie Ellis
Nothing ever tasted better than a cold beer on a beautiful afternoon with nothing to look forward to than more of the same. — Hugh Hood
If you want to see Chris Jericho drink a beer with Stone Cold Steve Austin, give me a doo-a dee-dee-dam, dee-dee-doo. — Chris Jericho
Never underestimate how much assistance, how much satisfaction, how much comfort, how much soul and transcendence there might be in a well-made taco and a cold bottle of beer. — Tom Robbins
In my case, I thoroughly enjoy running 100-odd miles a week. If I didn't I wouldn't do it. Who can define happiness? To some, happiness is a warm puppy or a glass of cold beer. To me, happiness is running in the hills with my mates around me. — Ron Clarke
I like my beer cold, my TV loud, and my homosexuals flaming. — Matt Groening
Oh, this beer here is cold, cold and hop-bitter, no point coming up for air, gulp, till it's all--hahhhh. — Thomas Pynchon
''Just think, never to be glad or disappointed. Never to like anyone and get cross at him and forgive him. Never to sleep or feel cold, never to make a mistake and have a stomach-ache and be cured from it, never to have a birthday party, drink beer, and have a bad conscience... How terrible. — Tove Jansson
Beer And Wine Quotes
There is nearly universal consensus that we should prohibit selling and serving alcohol to minors because wine, beer, and spirits can be addictive and, when used to excess, ruinous for their health. Is excess sugar any different? — Daniel Lieberman
Sophisticated foods are bittersweet wine, beer, coffee, chocolate. Addictive relationships are cooperative and competitive. Work becomes flow at the limits of ability. The flavor of life is on the edge. — Naval Ravikant
Religions change; beer and wine remain. — Hervey Allen
It's the same things your whole life. 'Clean up your room!', 'Stand up straight!', 'Pick up your feet!', 'Take it like a man!', 'Be nice to your sister!', 'Don't mix beer and wine, ever!'. Oh yeah, 'Don't drive on the railroad track!' — Philip Connors
God made yeast, as well as dough, and loves fermentation just as dearly as he loves vegetation. — Ralph Waldo Emerson
Without question, the greatest invention in the history of mankind is beer. Oh, I grant you that the wheel was also a fine invention, but the wheel does not go nearly as well with pizza. — Dave Barry
I recommend...bread, meat, vegetables, and beer. — Sophocles
I drink when I have occasion, and sometimes when I have no occasion. — Miguel de Cervantes
I learned early to drink beer, wine and whiskey. And I think I was about 5 when I first chewed tobacco. — Babe Ruth
Craft Beer Quotes
The roots and herbes beaten and put into new ale or beer and daily drunk, cleareth, strengtheneth and quickeneth the sight of the eyes. — Nicholas Culpeper
We old folks have to find our cushions and pillows in our tankards. Strong beer is the milk of the old. — Martin Luther
Good films are not made by accident, nor is good photography. You can have good things happen, on occasion, by accident that can be applied at that moment in a film, but your craft isn't structured around such things, except in beer commercials. — Gordon Willis
Make sure that the beer - four pints a week - goes to the troops under fire before any of the parties in the rear get a drop. — Winston Churchill
God has a brown voice, as soft and full as beer. — Anne Sexton
For the second straight year, craft beer is the fastest growing segment of the U.S. alcoholic beverage industry. In 2005, craft beer experienced a 9 percent increase in volume, nearly triple that of the growth experienced in the wine and spirits industry. — Sherwood Boehlert
The letters in 'Brace Beemer' can be arranged to spell 'Embrace Beer.' — Dave Barry
Brewers enjoy working to make beer as much as drinking beer instead of working. — Hal Foster
Leinenkugels makes better beer now that Miller bought them. It will license insecure people to like craft beers. — Michael Jackson
Root Beer Quotes
There is more similarity in the marketing challenge of selling a precious painting by Degas and a frosted mug of root beer than you ever thought possible. — A. Alfred Taubman
The egg creams of Avenue A in New York and the root beer float....are among the high points of American gastronomic inventiveness. — Mark Kurlansky
I use dull colors in my drawings because I started out using a root beer base because it seemed like an interesting idea and when it turned out that it worked quite well as an ink I started using other colors that would compliment it. — Marcel Dzama
So long as a man attends to his business the public does not count his drinks. When he fails they notice if he takes even a glass of root beer. — Corra May Harris
I haven't had a very good day. I think I might still be hung over and everyone's dead and my root beer's gone. — Holly Black
A bee rose up from a sun-filled paper cup, off to make slum honey from some diet root beer it had found inside. — Nicholson Baker
I think all it really takes for different people to get along is a common rooting interest and a few beers. — Matthew Quick
Light Beer Quotes
My first pastoral letter's gonna be a condemnation of light beer and instant mashed potatoes -- I hate those two things. — Timothy M. Dolan
You might be a redneck if you're a lite beer drinker, because you start drinking when it gets light. — Jeff Foxworthy
Listening to someone who brews their own beer is like listening to a religious fanatic talk about the day he saw the light. — Ross Murray
I'd been doing some light-beer commercials for Budweiser and Coors, and I was doing stand-up comedy. I wanted to get into the acting world, and my agent sent me on audition and they liked it. — Kevin Nealon
A good prince will tax as lightly as possible those commodities which are used by the poorest members of society: grain, bread, beer, wine, clothing, and all other staples without which human life could not exist. — Desiderius Erasmus
In my experience, you run into trouble when you ask a group of beer-drinking men to perform any task more complex than remembering not to light the filter ends of cigarettes. — Dave Barry
Bud Light....the perfect beer for marketers about to lose their job. — Jeff Barrett
I'm sure it's nothing switching to a light beer won't cure. — Jennifer Rardin
Neither can embellishments of language be found without arrangement and expression of thoughts, nor can thoughts be made to shine without the light of language. — Marcus Tullius Cicero
Great Beer Quotes
It is a great feeling to know that from a window I can go to books to cans of beer to past loves. And from these gather enough dream to sneak out a back door. — Gregory Corso
Rugby is great. The players don't wear helmets or padding; they just beat the living daylights out of each other and then go for a beer. I love that. — Joe Theismann
There are more old drunks than there are old doctors. — Willie Nelson
It is better to hide ignorance, but it is hard to do this when we relax over wine. — Heraclitus
It's not whether you win or lose, it's how you place the blame. — Oscar Wilde
I should like a great lake of ale, for the King of Kings. I should like the family of heaven to be drinking it through time eternal. — Brigit of Kildare
To some it's a six-pack, to me it's a "support group". Salvation in a can! — Leo Durocher
Homer no function beer well without. — Matt Groening
Many battles have been fought and won by soldiers nourished on beer. — Frederick the Great
Beverage Quotes
I come from a family where gravy is considered a beverage. — Erma Bombeck
I think the warning labels on alcoholic beverages are too bland. They should be more vivid. Here is one I would suggest: "Alcohol will turn you into the same asshole your father was. — George Carlin
Wine is the most healthful and most hygienic of beverages. — Louis Pasteur
Behold!" Percy shouted. "The god's chosen beverage. Tremble before the horror of Diet Coke! — Rick Riordan
One should not seek among others the truth that can be easily gotten from the Church. For in her, as in a rich treasury, the apostles have placed all that pertains to truth, so that everyone can drink this beverage of life. She is the door of life. — Irenaeus of Lyons
Coffee is a beverage that puts one to sleep when not drank. — Alphonse Allais
The spirit of the tea beverage is one of peace, comfort, and refinement. — Arthur Gray
Drugs are a tragedy for addicts. But criminalizing their use converts that tragedy into a disaster for society, for users and non-users alike. Our experience with the prohibition of drugs is a replay of our experience with the prohibition of alcoholic beverages. — Milton Friedman
And quit bringing up our forefathers and saying they were civil libertarians. Our founding fathers would have never tolerated any of this crap. For God's sake, they were blowing peoples' heads off because they put a tax on their breakfast beverage. And it wasn't even coffee. — Dennis Miller
There is a remarkable breakdown of taste and intelligence at Christmastime. Mature, responsible grown men wear neckties made of holly leaves and drink alcoholic beverages with raw egg yolks and cottage cheese in them. — P. J. O'Rourke
The whole world is drunk and we're just the cocktail of the moment. Someday soon, the world will wake up, down two aspirin with a glass of tomato juice, and wonder what the hell all the fuss was about. — Dean Martin
A good local pub has much in common with a church, except that a pub is warmer, and there's more conversation. — William Blake
I don't think I've ever stepped into a gym - they won't let me smoke there. I just thank God Miller Lite isn't as fattening as most beers. If I cut back on beer, though, I'd look anorexic. — John Daly
You will not be able to stay home, brother./You will not be able to plug in, turn on and cop out./You will not be able to lose yourself on skag and skip,/Skip out for beer during commercials,/Because the revolution will not be televised. — Gil Scott-Heron
No man who drank or smoked could ever come nearer to me than the telephone. I'd say, I won't let you - you nicotine-soaked, beer-besmeared, whiskey-greased, red-eyed devil - talk to me face to face. — Carrie Nation
When Richie Cunningham drank too many beers, his parents sat him down and explained their concerns. If you live on this earth, you find out that we are all the same. — Henry Winkler
I'm an old-fashioned guy... I want to be an old man with a beer belly sitting on a porch, looking at a lake or something. — Johnny Depp
No flies enter a closed mouth. — Mexican Proverbs
If you see your neighbor has shaved his beard, you should start lathering yours. — Mexican Proverbs
In Conclusion
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