The next point -- that's all you must think about. — Rod Laver
You're either part of the solution or you're part of the problem. — Eldridge Cleaver
Short Waitress Quotes
I'd played dumbasses a lot. On Mad About You, I played a very dumb waitress and they saw me. — Lisa Kudrow
If the waitress has dirty ankles, the chili is good. — Al McGuire
Women realize it's not worth buying an entire pig just to get a little sausage! — Andy Rooney
I'd probably be famous now if I wasn't such a good waitress. — Jane Siberry
Flappers sounds like where waitresses go after they're too old to work at Hooters. — Ray Romano
Cut my pie into four pieces, I don’t think I could eat eight. — Yogi Berra
Every hooker I ever speak to tells me that it beats the hell out of waitressing. — Woody Allen
All I ask is that you tip your waiters and waitresses. We have to turn this situation around. — Jay Leno
I got lost a lot, and I was a really bad waitress... I got lost on the subway. — Piper Perabo
I was very poor and I was a waitress, and it's hard to be a poor waitress in New York. — Kristin Davis
Waitress Image Quotes
Waiter Quotes
A person who is nice to you, but rude to the waiter, is not a nice person. — Dave Barry
My indifference to money and my spendthrift ways are disgraceful. You have no idea how reckless I am; how often I practically throw money out of the window. I am always making good resolutions, but the next minute I forget and give the waiter eightpence. — Robert Schumann
Beauty is Nature in perfection; circularity is its chief attribute. Behold the full moon, the enchanting golf ball, the domes of splendid temples, the huckleberry pie, the wedding ring, the circus ring, the ring for the waiter, and the "round" of drinks. — O. Henry
When those waiters ask me if I want some fresh ground pepper, I ask if they have any aged pepper. — Andy Rooney
If you wait for inspiration to write you're not a writer, you're a waiter. — Dan Poynter
I never taste the wine first in restaurants, I just ask the waiter to pour. — Nigella Lawson
Those who write are writers. Those who wait are waiters. — A. Lee Martinez
I must be cheaper now than I was ten years ago in order to get a laugh. It's not funny now if I leave the table and give the waiter a nickel tip, which was a laugh years ago. Today I must maneuver it so that somehow I get the waiter to give me a nickel tip. — Jack Benny
I mean, I've had bartenders and waiters and waitresses make a comment about a joke of mine, like pointing out some sort of logic error or something that I've never even thought about, and they're right. — Todd Barry
Last time I was down South I walked into this restaurant, and this white waitress came up to me and said: 'We don't serve colored people here.' "I said: 'that's all right, I don't eat colored people. Bring me a whole fried chicken. — Dick Gregory
I prefer ordinary girls - you know, college students, waitresses, that sort of thing. Most of the girls I go out with are just good friends. Just because I go out to the cinema with a girl, it doesn't mean we are dating. — Leonardo DiCaprio
Once I cried in a restaurant because the waitress told me I couldn't eat my soup with a fork, I had to use a spoon. — Liam Payne
The postman wants an autograph. The cab driver wants a picture. The waitress wants a handshake. Everyone wants a piece of you. — John Lennon
When the waitress asked if I wanted my pizza cut into four or eight slices, I said, 'Four. I don't think I can eat eight.' — Yogi Berra
I started in the restaurant business at the age of 19 as a waitress. I loved the atmosphere and the camaraderie of the restaurant business. I loved not having to go to an office. I loved making people happy. — Anne Burrell
I wasn't a very good waitress, always spilling things on people and forgetting things. I once spilled ashes all over Mike Wallace's table. — Tracy Pollan
I've always been melancholic. At a party, everyone would be looking at the glittering chandeliers and I'd be looking at the waitress's cracked shoes. — Marian Keyes
The useless days will add up to something. The shitty waitressing jobs. The hours writing in your journal. The long meandering walks. The hours reading poetry and story collections and novels and dead people’s diaries and wondering about sex and God and whether you should shave under your arms or not. These things are your becoming. — Cheryl Strayed
The waitress comes over to me like, 'What'chu readin' for?' I had never been asked that. Not 'What am I reading?' but 'What am I reading for?' Goddammit, you stumped me. Hmm, why do I read? I suppose I read for a lot of reasons, one of the main ones being so I don't end up being a... waffle waitress. — Bill Hicks
I was at a restaurant, and I ordered a chicken sandwich, but I don't think the waitress understood me. She asked me, "How would you like your eggs?" I thought I would answer her anyway and said, "Incubated! And then raised, plucked, beheaded, cut up, put onto a grill, and then put onto a bun. Damn! I don't have that much time! Scrambled!" — Mitch Hedberg
The waitress brought me another drink. She wanted to light my hurricane lamp again. I wouldn't let her. "Can you see anything in the dark, with your sunglasses on?" she asked me. "The big show is inside my head," I said. — Kurt Vonnegut
I'd much rather have sat there and just been a fly on the wall, instead of having to smile at people. I'd rather have been a waitress. Just gone round and stared at people. — Jennifer Saunders
You can't come out of drama school and think, 'It's all going to be amazing.' You have to expect to work in a bar for at least five years and be a waitress for maybe two! — Emilia Clarke
I'm thinking waiters and waitresses are going to be bracing for more customers coming in going, not just kind of where is that beef from, but, like, where is that vanilla from and what's up with that sunflower oil? Is it organic or not and how many pesticides? — Michael Moss
My mom was a waitress, and my dad was a plumber who worked for the City of San Clemente fixing mains breaks, so not too glamorous. — Shaun White
I was never a nightclub manager or a hostess. I want to make that very clear. I was an executive at my club. I was a director of VIP operations, that's much different than a manager, that's much different than a waitress, it's different than, you know, a host - I was like an executive-level position — Rachel Uchitel
I had a meal in Pizza Hut and the waitress told me I didn't need to pay. So I decided to be a bit cheeky and ask for more pizza and garlic bread. — Gareth Gates
For the rest of my life I'll be thinking about that hamburger. I'll be sitting there at the counter, holding it in my hands with tears streaming down my cheeks. The waitress will be looking away because she doesn't like to see kids crying when they are eating hamburgers. — Richard Brautigan
I really don't like going out. I don't like restaurants because I don't like the idea of someone, a waitress, being responsible for my evening. I like seconds, and more, and lots of conversation, and I've always hated the idea that in a restaurant an evening just ends. I find that incredibly depressing. — Amy Sedaris
A movie of mine is going to be released in Japan next year. I play a waitress who's a really regular girl in this movie. The English title isn't decided yet, but in Japanese it's I'll Get on the A Train Sometime. — Chiaki Kuriyama
When I go into a restaurant, the waitress who brings me my meal, the cook in the back who prepared it, the delivery men, the wholesalers, the workers in the food-processing factories, the butchers, the farmers, the ranchers, and everyone else in the economic food chain are all being used by God to “give me this day my daily bread.” — Gene Veith
I staggered into a Manchester bar late one night on a tour and the waitress said "You look as if you need a Screaming Orgasm". At the time this was the last thing on my mind. — Terry Pratchett
I get heartfelt thanks from all kinds of people. Today I heard from a waitress in Georgia who has lost her job and is trying to figure out how her local bank can change the terms on her credit card, and I heard from a physicist at a major research university who wants to explain a better theory of financial stress tests. — Elizabeth Warren
She tries to get a waitressing job for a while - I mean, she's looking for a while before she finds Coyote Ugly - and it's hard to get a waitressing job in the city. — Piper Perabo
If a waiter or waitress tells me when gratuity is included they automatically get more gratuity. When they hide it I go with the leg kick. — Jay Mohr
Being a waitress can be a very brutal job sometimes, and I remember during the training, the person said to me, "The redder the lips, the better the tips," and that was like the only advice she gave me. — Brit Marling
I think that I was lucky that I was 30 when I did 'Love Story', which came with this extravagant pop celebrity. I had already done 15 years of what I call 'real' work.' I was a waitress, chambermaid, and a photographer's assistant, so I knew that I was tremendously lucky as a novice actor to have that big hit. — Ali MacGraw
I own the restaurant. There are a lot of cooks, waiters and waitresses in this restaurant. They worry about their problems. I worry about all the problems. — Mack Brown
When the waitress puts the dinner on the table, the old men look at the dinner. The young men look at the waitress. — Gelett Burgess
For every stunning, smart, well-coiffed hot woman of 40 +, there is a balding, paunchy relic in yellow pants making a fool of himself with some 22-year-old waitress. — Andy Rooney
I'll bet I'm as old as you are." "I'm older than Sanskrit." "Well, I was waitress at the Last Supper." "I'm so old I remember when McDonald's had only sold a hundred burgers." "You win. — Tom Robbins
Waitress!" Hedge called. "Six double espressos, and whatever these guys want. Put it on the girl's tab. — Rick Riordan
I was a hot-dog stand lady, I was an orphan housemother, I was a waitress 3 or 4 times. All of those jobs did not have good bosses. They basically told you what to do, when to do and when to hop. And I just didn't like that very much. — Barbara Corcoran
I'd gone into that restaurant and sat down and the waitress had taken my order and everybody else had seen me with this what must have looked like this creature, this animal, sitting on the top of my head! — Derek Jacobi
I mean, its hard to be an actor in the city - trying to make it as an actor - because you waitress all night, you get home really late and you're super tired and your feet hurt. — Piper Perabo
In Conclusion
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