You never really know a man until you have divorced him. — Zsa Zsa Gabor
Remarrying a husband you've divorced is like having your appendix put back in. — Phyllis Diller
You may have even an ex-wife or an ex-husband, but you can never have ex-children. — George Foreman
I was married to a state of mind and I divorced it — Black Thought
A wife lasts only for the length of the marriage, but an ex-wife is there for the rest of your life. — Woody Allen
A wife lasts only for the length of the marriage, but an ex-wife is there for the rest of your life. — Jim Samuels
My husband said it was him or the cat. I miss him sometimes. — Zsa Zsa Gabor
My first husband, yes, I eloped with him from Hungary against my mother's wishes. — Eva Gabor
Whenever you want to marry someone, go have lunch with his ex-wife. — Shelley Winters
How many husbands have I had? You mean apart from my own? — Zsa Zsa Gabor
Divorce sucks. Let me tell you, after five years of marriage, it is devastating to have the person with the good credit move out. — Rich Vos
I have had five phenomenal children, a great husband and, even though we are separated, we are good friends. — Maureen Forrester
Husbands are like fires - they go out when unattended. — Zsa Zsa Gabor
The ideal man doesn't exist. A husband is easier to find. — Sayings
Alimony -- the ransom that the happy pay to the devil. — H. L. Mencken
Short Ex Husband Quotes
Marriages come and go, but divorce is forever. — Nora Ephron
Never trust a husband too far, nor a bachelor too near. — Helen Rowland
Never ask your wife if she still hears from her old pimp. — Johnny Carson
To get over my divorce, I got a prescription to live at the Playboy Mansion for a while. — James Caan
I'm a great housekeeper. I get divorced. I keep the house. — Zsa Zsa Gabor
I've had bad luck with both my wives. The first one left me and the second one didn't. — Patrick Murray
Handsome husbands often make a wife's heart ache. — Samuel Richardson
The spouse of a woman is a man, the spouse of a man is his livelihood. — Indian Proverbs
Sometimes divorce is better than marriage — Sumner Redstone
Divorce is a game played by lawyers. — Cary Grant
Ex Husband Image Quotes
Ex Wife Quotes
The drink? Yes, I've had tough times in my life, especially the last year, regarding my ex-wife, my kids, I nearly broke my neck, I was on death row with pneumonia. — Paul Gascoigne
It helps to be able to be alone. 'Cuz writing is done alone, unless you collaborate, but I don't do that. Ask my ex-wife. — Dirk Benedict
Someone called all the newspapers in New York and told them I'd died. I've been told by almost everyone it was an ex-wife - I've had a few so it's hard to pinpoint which one - but who knows for sure? — Richard Pryor
My ex-wife was a philosophy major at NYU. Yeah, she and I used to have deep philosophical discussions where she would prove that I didn't exist. — Woody Allen
She (my ex-wife) wanted me to stop being Evel Knievel. I am who I am. I'm not going to change. I'll settle down the day they put me in a six-foot pine box. — Evel Knievel
And me having kids, with my family history? My mom: mentally ill, shot and killed her last husband. My father: six ex-wives, four heart attacks. Both of my parents think alcohol is a food group. — Christopher Titus
Besides Bob Satterfield, the only ones who ever hurt me were my ex-wives. — Jake LaMotta
Someone once told me that there is more to life than golf. I think it was my ex-wife. — Bruce Lansky
Our ex-wifes always harbour secrets about us that make them irresistable. Until, of course, we remember who we are and what we did and why we are not married anymore. — Richard Ford
I said, "It seems like you have fond feelings toward your ex-wife. Are you two still close?" "Nah," he said casually. "She thinks I changed my name to Motherfucker." — Elizabeth Gilbert
Ex-wife Quotes
When you gotta go out and make a movie to pay for the kid's private school and for the three ex-wives, don't talk to me about your artistry. It's their job. It's not my job. It's my calling. — Quentin Tarantino
You ask me about my ex-wife? That is not polite. But I will answer. I got another wife now. Much younger, much nicer, much prettier. And so much more intelligent than Benetton.' — Oliviero Toscani
My second ex-wife was really kind of like a ship passing in the night. Only she turned out to be the Exxon Valdez. — James Woods
It's not because I'm bitter or because I don't agree with him politically. I've always been a registered Republican. But it's bad taste to talk about ex-husbands and ex-wives, that's all. Also, I don't know a damn thing about politics. — Jane Wyman
I got a divorce because my ex-wife left me for another woman. — Woody Allen
I guess my main influences are Jesus, rock n roll and ex-wives. In that order. — Sam Kinison
I talked to ex-wives of musicians of the '70s for research. They're the funniest people in the world, yet there is this sad, beautiful thing in their eyes that says they've seen more than they could ever possibly tell you — Kate Hudson
An optimist is merely an ex-pessimist with his pockets full of money, his digestion in good condition, and his wife in the country. — Helen Rowland
Apparently, there's something hinky about the new iPhones. They're not hooked up right. ... There's a problem with the antenna. They don't like to be held - like my ex-wife. — David Letterman
The founder of every ex-gay ministry in America has proved to be an extraordinary failure. The two founders of Exodus International, [the world's largest 'ex-gay' organization], divorced their wives to move in together. — Wayne Besen
Ex Boyfriend Quotes
When your ex says ‘You’ll never find anyone like me’. Say ‘that’s the point’. — Drake
Boys say they don't mind how you get your hair done. But then they leave you for someone with really great standard girl hair and the next thing you know you're alone with a masculine crop crying into your granola. — Alexa Chung
I am a dreamer but when I wake, you can't break my spirit, it's my dreams you take — James Blunt
I get some female attention from fans, but mostly it's people asking for advice about a situation with their ex or their boyfriend, so it's not all love letters and fan mail! — Matthew Hussey
I collect ex-boyfriends -- and more than five, at last count. — Jasper Fforde
Stones taught me to fly
Love taught me to lie
And life taught me to die
So it's not hard to fall
When you float like a cannonball. — Damien Rice
It may be over but it won't stop there, I am here for you if you'd only care — James Blunt
You never date someone's ex-boyfriend. Period. That's not even the unspoken rule - that's the spoken rule. — Eva Longoria
Sooner or later we'll be looking back on everything and we'll laugh about it like we knew what all was happening — Michael Tolcher
His Ex Quotes
Never does any pride enter the heart of a man except that his intelligence decreases by the same amount. — Muhammad al-Baqir
I couldn't catch a ball if it had Elmer's Glue all over it. And my father had to be this ex-football star. He didn't know what to tell his friends, so he told them all I had Polio. On Father's Day, I used to limp for him. — Matthew West
Everyone has a bookplate these days, and the collectors are after it. The fool and his bookplate are soon parted. To distribute one's ex libris is inanely to destroy the only significance it has, that of indicating the past or present ownership of the volume in which it is placed. — Thomas Bailey Aldrich
I read Warren Zevon's bizarre biography, "I'll Sleep When I'm Dead." His wife, Crystal Zevon, posthumously published a journal he wrote and some interviews with ex-band members. Like [Keith] Richards's book "Life," it's brutally honest. — Dave Barry
I know one gay ex-Mormon who is a talented, self-destructive alcoholic. Whenever he is drunk and going on a tear, we are back to the Mormon Church and his being thrown out of the Mormon Church and growing up with this sense of being evil. — Andrew Solomon
I got caught kissing my dad's ex-girlfriend - at his wedding! — Lee Ryan
Bill Clinton is the only ex-president who hasn't planned his own funeral. But, in his defense, in the past he has said he wants to be buried next to Hillary. I guess he figures he never slept next to her when they were alive, might as well try it now that they're dead. — Jay Leno
I was the biggest George Harrison fanatic in the world. He was raised Catholic; my parents are both ex-clergy, so I was raised Catholic, and I admired how he used his faith. — John Fugelsang
You will not easily get a man to believe that his carnal love for the woman he has made his wife is as high a love as that he feltfor his mother or sister. — D. H. Lawrence
Tonight was the CNN primary debate with the four remaining candidates. It was kind of a change for Newt Gingrich. Usually when he's arguing with three people at once, it's his wife, his ex-wife, and his mistress. — Jay Leno
My Husband Quotes
I was a queen, and you took away my crown; a wife, and you killed my husband; a mother, and you deprived me of my children. My blood alone remains: take it, but do not make me suffer long. — Marie Antoinette
My hobbies are cooking and gardening, especially growing orchids. I love soccer, my husband and I support a British team called Chelsea, and I also enjoy tennis. We have 3 cats. — Juliet Mills
A dream you dream alone is only a dream. A dream you dream together is reality. — Yoko Ono
Lady Nancy Astor: Winston, if you were my husband, I'd poison your tea. Churchill: Nancy, if I were your husband, I'd drink it. — Winston Churchill
I guess if you're lucky enough not to have to pay your rent, then you or I take much more seriously the kind of work that I do, what it takes for me to leave two teenagers of my own and six stepchildren and a husband and four grandchildren. — Ellen Barkin
Do you think that God would separate me from my husband if I killed myself? I feel as though I am going out of my mind at times. Wouldn’t God understand that I just want to be with him? — Jackie Kennedy
You can make a lot of money in this game. Just ask my ex-wives. Both of them are so rich that neither of their husbands work. — Lee Trevino
The doctor must have put my pacemaker in wrong. Every time my husband kisses me, the garage door goes up. — Minnie Pearl
When I was in nursery school, the teachers asked me, y'know, 'What does your dad do for a living?' So I said 'He helps women get pregnant!' They called my mom and they were like, 'What exactly does your husband do?' — Natalie Portman
They see a work ethic in both of us. But, they also see that my husband is more in control of his future, and I am more reliant on other sources for my career. — Jami Gertz
Divorce Quotes
On the British Royal Divorce (Charles and Dianna). She is such a sad soul. It is good that it is over. Nobody was happy anyhow. I know I should preach family love and unity, but in their case. . . . — Mother Teresa
Willie Nelson's the one who told me the reason it costs so much to get divorced is because it's worth it. — Merle Haggard
In every friendship hearts grow and entwine themselves together, so that the two hearts seem to make only one heart with only a common thought. That is why separation is so painful; it is not so much two hearts separating, but one being torn asunder. — Fulton J. Sheen
Your body is the ground and metaphor of your life, the expression of your existence. It is your Bible, your encyclopedia, your life story. Everything that happens to you is stored and reflected in your body. In the marriage of flesh and spirit divorce is impossible. — Gabrielle Roth
A divorce is like an amputation: you survive it, but there's less of you. — Margaret Atwood
A lawyer is never entirely comfortable with a friendly divorce, anymore than a good mortician wants to finish his job and then have the patient sit up on the table. — Jean Kerr
We need to divorce ourselves from venture capital as an occupation and focus on using capital as a way to take really big bets on things that just seem totally audacious. — Chamath Palihapitiya
Knowledge which is divorced from justice, may be called cunning rather than wisdom. — Marcus Tullius Cicero
No soul that seriously and constantly desires joy will ever miss it. Those who seek find. To those who knock it is opened. — C. S. Lewis
Being divorced is like being hit by a Mack truck. If you live through it, you start looking very carefully to the right and to the left. — Jean Kerr
I saw my ex-husband in the street. I was sitting on the steps of the new library. Hello, my life, I said. We had once been married for twenty-seven years, so I felt justified. He said, What? What life? No life of mine. — Grace Paley
One of my ex-husbands thought I had a breast job. They looked bigger. I just got the proper lingerie. — Sayings
My mother was an ex-nun, and my father was a Franciscan brother, so I grew up believing in Jesus the way anyone would believe in Mom's first husband. — John Fugelsang
[On her first meeting with he ex-husband, Steven Seagal:] He reminded me of an alien. — Kelly LeBrock
It's about prioritizing. Just take it one step at a time. Do the best that you can. I'm a mom and I have two husbands - an ex husband and a next husband. It's a blended family and it's very hard to keep things together, but we're happy and we live in love. Djimon and I are so happy. — Kimora Lee Simmons
I sent my ex-husband a bully card: You held hate in one heart and spoke niceties with the other, you laid warm hands upon me in public and wounded me in private, your noble face hid your filthy ways, and your sorrow was but laughter. — Jenny Jay
The only thing that bothers me is that the girls come up to me and say, "I'm dating your ex-husband." I'm happy that he's dating girls and getting out. — Janet Jackson
In some instances, alimony has become akin to a social-welfare program provided by working women to their ex-husbands. — Diane Garnick
I have a scar on my right arm from my ex-husband. He was cooking and he had a hot pot and he turned around and went right into my arm. — Nadine Velazquez
Your basic extended family today includes your ex-husband or -wife, your ex's new mate, your new mate, possibly your new mate's ex and any new mate that your new mate's ex has acquired. — Delia Ephron
I stood for parliament with the amazing support and help of my ex-husband, but it's not something that was handed to me like a peerage. I worked hard and was elected. So my achievements, such as they are, are my own. — Louise Mensch
When you are not missing something, longing for something, you don't really think about it that much. It's like that girlfriend you don't want to have anymore. You don't think about her anymore. Or ex-husband. You just don't. — Danica Patrick
What I hate about Halle Berry is there's always drama around her. It's always fighting, automobile accidents, fistfights, boyfriends fighting ex-husbands for the child. — Donald Trump
My ex-husband is very involved in raising our beautiful children. We're very lucky because we both grew up in working families in middle America. We're on the same page that way. — Reese Witherspoon
My ex-husband has been one of my best teachers, and I believe that the areas of our life and the people in our lives that present the most problems to us - they really are our best teachers. They're teaching us lessons that we have to learn anyway, and if we don't accept the lesson from them, there will just be another teacher to step in and take their place. — Rene Marie
I really wanted Rachel [from the Girl on The Train] to be purely fixated on fantasy and on her ex-husband.I didn't want her to be embarking on romance, touching people; I wanted her purely in the realm of fantasy and frustration and dreaming and sadness. — Erin Cressida Wilson
My ex-husband is not on social media or Facebook, which I find fascinating and I do not follow any [others]. I know that one of them follows me, which I find interesting. — Sutton Foster
I was working as a cocktail waitress in a heavy metal bar. Then, my manager said I should try some acting, which led to an audition Satisfaction, where I played a musician in an all-girl band. That movie is where I met my future ex-husband Jody Porter. — Britta Phillips
I had to detach myself from myself, if that makes any sense, to conjure an authentic first-person voice. In that sense, it was similar to writing a first-person novel. But I was writing about real people, not fictional ones - myself, my family, my friends and boyfriends and ex-husband, and that was extremely tricky. — Kate Christensen
I do feel free, I have patched things up with my ex-husband to the degree of this real friendship. We spend a lot of time together as a family with our son, no way will we be man and wife again. — Beccy Cole
One of the reasons my ex-husband and I broke up is that he stopped eating my food. — Jill Scott
I have to meet someone who loves children and who loves ex-husbands and implants. — Pamela Anderson
My mom and I were super close when I was a kid, her and I sort of ran off from her ex-husband. It wasn't such a good time for us and I remember listening to The Distillers with her. One time I actually asked her, 'Mom, can I shave my head into a mohawk?' — Hayley Williams
Three factors--the belief that child care is female work, the failure of ex-husbands to support their children, and higher male wages at work--have taken the economic rug from under that half of married women who divorce. — Arlie Russell Hochschild
My ex-husband happens to be one of the most gifted moviemakers. And what is so bizarre about working with someone like that? I guess it is bizarre to be good friends with your ex-husband. — Ali MacGraw
I don't have any jokes about my divorce or my ex-husband, who is a lovely person. It really is about how I was an idiot trying to push this guy to get married when I wasn't even sure if I wanted to. — Jen Kirkman
My ex-husband and I, even though we're not together, we are 100 percent together in raising our kid. We communicate a lot and where I drop the ball and need him to pick it up or vice versa, he's there. — Charisma Carpenter
She realized how many of her beliefs were either unrealistic or belonged to her deceased parents and her ex-husband. She also realized that her expectations for herself and others were sometimes too rigid. She was trying to live up to what everyone else said was best for her, which made her depressed and hard to be around at times. Once she changed her beliefs about herself and others, she began to smile more and enjoy life. — Salle Merrill Redfield
You ever get any death threats? How about ex-husbands or ex-boyfriends? You run over anyone recently?” ~ Morelli — Janet Evanovich
Turn around, and the people you thought you knew might change. Your little boy might now live half a world away. Your beautiful daughter might be sneaking out at night. Your ex-husband might by dying by degrees. This is the reason that dancers learn, early on, how to spot while doing pirouettes: we all want to be able to find the place where we started. — Jodi Picoult
She loved Bram in a clear-eyed way she’d never loved her ex-husband, no rose-colored glasses or mindless giddiness, no Cinderella fantasies or false certainty that he’d put her life in order. What she felt for Bram was messy, honest, and soul-deep. He felt like…part of her, the best and the worst. Like someone she wanted to struggle through life with; share triumphs and catastrophes; share holidays, birthdays, every days — Susan Elizabeth Phillips
We knew we were doomed. The kiss was a warm acceptance of years of bickering, years of me consuming foods that I found barely edible and Henry tidying up after someone who already thought she had tidied up. When I kissed Henry I wasn't imagining Ex-boyfriend #13; I was picturing Husband #1. — Lisa Lutz
The former stewardess glared at her ex-pilot husband as if he had been speaking, and thinking, in the absence of sufficient oxygen. — John Irving
When I planned my wedding the first time, my ex-husband and I, we were both struggling comics. I had a TV show that had gotten cancelled. Basically, I rented a wedding gown; the reception hall smelled like feet. — Sherri Shepherd
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