In my experience, if you have to keep the lavatory door shut by extending your left leg, it's modern architecture. — Nancy Banks-Smith
In my experience, if you have to keep the lavatory door shut by extending your left leg, it's modern architecture. — Nancy BanksSmith
If you can see the handwriting on the wall... you're on the toilet. — Redd Foxx
I had to defecate and that’s actually French for sh*t. — Theo Von
Spain travel tip: If bathroom genders are indicated by flamingos, the boy flamingo is the one with a hat. I learned this the hard way. — Dave Barry
Why are there no windows in the toilets on aeroplanes? To protect you from the most dedicated perverts on the planet, hanging off the wing to get a peep? — Sayings
We never had a bathtub. Mom would bathe me in the wooden or tin washtub in the kitchen, or in a big lard can. — Ethel Waters
A true lady should have the wit and the imagination, or at least the very restraint, to express herself without resorting herself to such base vocabulary. — Ari Marmell
One of the most awkward things that can happen in a pub is when your pint-to-toilet cycle gets synchronised with a complete stranger. — Peter Kay
Cleanliness is indeed next to godliness. — John Wesley
Cleanliness & good sanitation in schools is a matter of high importance. — Narendra Modi
Short Lavatory Quotes
When you get to my age life seems little more than one long march to and from the lavatory. — John Mortimer
Being English, I always laugh at anything to do with the lavatory or bottoms. — Elizabeth Hurley
Everything at a NASCAR event carries a corporate logo except the lavatory stalls. — Brock Yates
It's funny, in literature no one ever goes to the lavatory. — Sayings
Arguing with a dead man in a lavatory is a claustrophobic experience. — Ian McEwan
Restroom Quotes
I propose a limitation be put on how many squares of toilet paper can be used in any one sitting. — Sheryl Crow
For the speedy reader paragraphs become a country the eye flies over looking for landmarks, reference points, airports, restrooms, passages of sex. — William H. Gass
I went to the entrance to the restroom, where the hallway did a sharp bend so nobody could peek into the girls' pee-palace. — Lilith Saintcrow
Humour is often linked to shared experience. Like, a guy gets up and says, "Have you noticed public restrooms have really inefficient hand-dryers?" Oh my God, yes I have, hahaha, really
good point, they should... fix that. It's good to know that somebody finally gets me! — Bo Burnham
One time I went into a restroom and a girl followed me in. I signed an autograph for her in the sink. It was pretty funny because she was in a guy's restroom and she wasn't embarrassed at all. — Zac Efron
Fame lost its appeal for me when I went into a public restroom and an autograph seeker handed me a pen and paper under the stall door. — Marlo Thomas
With boys you always know where you stand. Right in the path of a hurricane. It's all there. The fruit flies hovering over their waste can, the hamster trying to escape to cleaner air, the bedrooms decorated in Early Bus Station Restroom. — Erma Bombeck
You might be a redneck if your classes at school were cancelled because the path to the restroom was flooded. — Jeff Foxworthy
You know, I'm going to start thanking the woman who cleans the restroom in the building I work in. I'm going to start thinking of her as a human being. — Hillary Clinton
Try being my size and going into a public restroom. — Billy Barty
Toilet Seat Quotes
I like to play pranks on my girlfriend, you know, keep things fresh for me, make me laugh, you know? She hates it. But like, the other night, I put Saran wrap over the toilet seat, you know, which doesn't sound that original, but she's bulimic. — Anthony Jeselnik
I smoke so much weed that you wouldn't believe and I get more ass then a toilet seat. — Nate Dogg
We'll send you a Hogwarts toilet seat! — J. K. Rowling
Don't, Ginny, we'll send you loads of owls. We'll send you a Hogwarts toilet seat. George! Only joking, Mum. — J. K. Rowling
Bad writing is not easier than good writing. It's just as hard to make a toilet seat as it is a castle window. Only the view is different. — Ben Hecht
I believe your friends Misters Fred and George Weasley were responsible for trying to send you a toilet seat. No doubt they thought it would amuse you. — J. K. Rowling
Online, you're providing each other with the good aspects of being together as far as communication and support, but you don't have to deal with the realities of paying bills together, or being annoyed when they leave the toilet seat up or don't put the food away in the fridge. — Nev Schulman
It's probably not love if you don't press your face to the toilet seat after they've used it to feel their warmth. — Rob Delaney
Men who consistently leave the toilet seat up secretly want women to get up to go the bathroom in the middle of the night and fall in. — Rita Rudner
Growing up, I had a front row seat to seeing two people work really hard. My dad scrubbed toilets at a private Catholic school for a while and that was to help me get through school. — Mia Love
Bathroom Quotes
Mother says there are locked rooms inside all women, kitchen of love, bedroom of grief, bathroom of apathy. Sometimes, the men, they come with keys, and sometimes the men, they come with hammers. — Warsan Shire
My roommate says, "I'm going to take a shower and shave. Does anyone need to use the bathroom?" It's like some weird quiz where he reveals the answer first. — Mitch Hedberg
The main part of the house is a deep red and I have butterscotch carpet. And I have a bathroom with leopard skin floor, wallpaper and toilet. — Macy Gray
Beer is not a good cocktail-party drink, especially in a home where you don't know where the bathroom is. — Billy Carter
I don't want to abolish government. I simply want to reduce it to the size where I can drag it into the bathroom and drown it in the bathtub. — Grover Norquist
I wouldn't want to be someone's roommate, that's for sure. You can't do certain things, you can't leave the bathroom door open...you can't put your feet on the couch, you can't hide stuff in the couch. — J. B. Smoove
All that chatter you hear from yuppie parents at the playground about how expensive it is to 'do' bathrooms? It's all true. Every word, and worse. — Tucker Carlson
I tell ya, I knew my morning wasn't going right. When I put on my shirt the button fell off, when I picked up my briefcase, the handle fell off, I tell ya, I was afraid to go to the bathroom. — Rodney Dangerfield
in the mornin' po-lice at my door
Fresh adidas squeak across the bathroom floor
Out the back window.. I make a escape
Don't even get a chance to grab my old school tape — Ice T
The motion picture made in Hollywood, if it is to create art at all, must do so within such strangling limitations of subject and treatment that it is a blind wonder it ever achieves any distinction beyond the purely mechanical slickness of a glass and chromium bathroom. — Raymond Chandler
Mark my words, when a society has to resort to the lavatory for its humour, the writing is on the wall. — Alan Bennett
I've been lucky enough to win an Oscar, write a best-seller - my other dream would be to have a painting in the Louvre. The only way that's going to happen is if I paint a dirty one on the wall of the gentlemen's lavatory. — David Niven
The ultimate aim of psychoanalysis is to attribute art to mental weakness, and then to trace the weakness back to the point where, according to analytic dogma, it originated namely, the lavatory. — Karl Kraus
The main aim of education should be to send children out into the world with a reasonably sized anthology in their heads so that, while seated on the lavatory, waiting in doctors' surgeries, on stationary trains or watching interviews with politicians, they may have something interesting to think about. — John Mortimer
I don't like rats, but there's not much else I don't like. The problem with rats is they have no fear of human beings, they're loaded with foul diseases, they would run the place given half the chance, and I've had them leap out of a lavatory while I've been sitting on it. — David Attenborough
I was sat at the bottom of the garden a week ago, smoking a reflective cheroot, thinking about this and that - mostly that, and I just happened to glance at the night sky and I marvelled at the millions of stars glistening like pieces of quicksilver thrown carelessly onto black velvet. In awe I watched the waxen moon ride across the zenith of the heavens like an amber chariot towards the void of infinite space wherein the tethered bolts of Jupiter and Mars hang forever in their orbital majesty; and as I looked at all this, I thought, 'I must put a roof on this lavatory.' — Les Dawson
I have seen things few of my countrymen have. The first time I went on an aeroplane I couldn't work out how the lavatories worked up in the sky. — Haile Gebrselassie
I boast of being the only man in London who has been bombed off a lavatory seat while reading Jane Austen. She went into the bath; I went through the door. — Kingsley Martin
Look at the blogosphere - the biggest lavatory wall in the universe, a palimpsest of graffiti and execration. — A.C. Grayling
When we are victorious on a world scale I think we shall use gold for the purpose of building public lavatories in the streets of some of the largest cities of the world. — Vladimir Lenin
The short conversation that follows eventually led to a tree religion. Its tenet of faith was this: a tree that was a good tree and led a clean decent and upstanding life could be assured of a future life after death. If it was very good indeed it would eventually be reincarnated as five thousand rolls of lavatory paper. — Terry Pratchett
I know we're not saints or virgins or lunatics; we know all the lust and lavatory jokes, and most of the dirty people; we can catch buses and count our change and cross the roads and talk real sentences. But our innocence goes awfully deep, and our discreditable secret is that we don't know anything at all, and our horrid inner secret is that we don't care that we don't. — Dylan Thomas
This won't look so good in my obituary," Schaffer said dolefully. There was a perceptible edge of strain under the lightly-spoken words."Gave his life for his country in a ladies' lavatory in Upper Bavaria. — Alistair Maclean
The books in Mo and Meggie's house were stacked under tables, on chairs, in the corners of the rooms. There where books in the kitchen and books in the lavatory. Books on the TV set and in the closet, small piles of books, tall piles of books, books thick and thin, books old and new. They welcomed Meggie down to breakfast with invitingly opened pages; they kept boredom at bay when the weather was bad. And sometimes you fall over them. — Cornelia Funke
In Conclusion
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