88 Martini Quotes

Following is our list of martini quotations and slogans full of insightful wisdom and perspective about cocktail drinks.

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Famous Martini Quotes

A perfect martini should be made by filling a glass with gin then waving it in the general direction of Italy. — Noel Coward

I like to have a martini/Two at the very most. — Dorothy Parker

A medium Vodka dry Martini - with a slice of lemon peel. Shaken and not stirred. — Ian Fleming

A well-made Martini or Gibson, correctly chilled and nicely served, has been more often my true friend than any two-legged creature. — M. F. K. Fisher

One martini is all right. Two are too many, and three are not enough. — James Thurber

One martini is just right. Two martinis are too many. Three martinis are never enough. — M. F. K. Fisher

Happiness is a dry martini and a good woman ... or a bad woman. — George Burns

Why don't you get out of that wet coat and into a dry martini? - Robert Benchley

Why don't you get out of that wet coat and into a dry martini? — Robert Benchley

'The tea is coming!' ...she may want a martini, but make her drink tea. — Alice Taylor

A man must defend his home, his wife, his children, and his martini. — Jackie Gleason

Happiness is.....finding two olives in your martini when youre hungry. — Johnny Carson

The three-martini lunch is the epitome of American efficiency. — Gerald R. Ford

After a match, my opponent goes to the hospital and gets an IV and I have a martini. — Tank Abbott

Set up another case bartender! The best thing for a case of nerves is a case of Scotch. — W. C. Fields

Bikinis, zucchinis, martinis No weenies. — Snoop Dogg

Short Martini Quotes

  • A martini. Shaken, not stirred. — Sean Connery
  • You can no more keep a Martini in the refrigerator than you can keep a kiss there. — Bernard Devoto
  • Bright was the light of my last martini on my moral horizon — Norman Mailer
  • This is an excellent martini — sort of tastes like it isn't there at all, just a cold cloud. — Herman Wouk
  • The martini: the only American invention as perfect as the sonnet. — H. L. Mencken
  • I never go jogging, it makes me spill my martini. — George Burns
  • I love vodka martinis. I know it's a cliché. — Daniel Craig
  • When a horse learns to buy martinis, I'll learn to like horses. — Steve McQueen
  • I think I had it in the back of my mind that I wanted to sound like a dry martini. — Paul Desmond
  • If Plato is a fine red wine, then Aristotle is a dry martini. — Eric Stoltz

Dry Martini Quotes

A dry martini,' he said. 'One. In a deep champagne goblet.' ... Just a moment. Three measures of Gordon's, one of vodka, half a measure of Kina Lillet. Shake it very well until it's ice-cold, then add a large thin slice of lemon-peel. Got it? — Ian Fleming

We have lived through the era when happiness was a warm puppy, and the era when happiness was a dry martini, and now we have come to the era when happiness is 'knowing what your uterus looks like'. — Nora Ephron

Let's get out of these wet clothes and into a dry Martini. — Mae West

How about slipping out of those wet things and into a dry Martini? — Noel Coward

He was white and shaken, like a dry martini. — P. G. Wodehouse

My chosen drink would be a Southern Comfort, lime and lemonade, a dry martini or a good red wine. — Nikki Sanderson

I must get out of these wet clothes and into a dry Martini. — Robert Benchley

I am prepared to believe that a dry martini slightly impairs the palate, but think what it does for the soul. — Alec Waugh

Cocktail Drinks Quotes

Beer is not a good cocktail-party drink, especially in a home where you don't know where the bathroom is. — Billy Carter

To me, being grown-up meant smoking cigarettes, drinking cocktails, and dressing up in high heels and glamourous outfits. — Lorna Luft

I will meet you in the dirtiest city you can dream of. We will drink cocktails so sweet they pucker our cheeks, as we perch on cracked leather bar stools. I will buy you plates of calcium and protein and we will run through the streets in excellent danger. — Michelle Tea

I drink Champagne when I win, to celebrate...and I drink Champagne when I lose, to console myself. — Napoleon Bonaparte

Not everyone who drinks is a poet. Some of us drink because we're not poets. — Dudley Moore

People can buy a bottle of gin and drink it at home for about a buck a drink, whereas they are willing to go to a bar and pay 12 bucks for the same cocktail. The difference is that man needs to be social. So I believe that there is a strong demand for games that are social. — Nolan Bushnell

Austin and I proceeded to knock back a couple of Ketel One and grapefruit juices, which happened to be my drink of the moment. Someone told me that grapefruit was a great detoxifier and I decided I wanted to start cleaning out my liver WHILE I was having a cocktail. — Chelsea Handler

High blood pressure, cheeriness at breakfast, a mellowing political philosophy, and an inability to drink more than half a bottle of proof spirits at cocktail time without falling over the fire irons all suggest dark wings hovering overhead and the impending midnight croak of the raven. — Lucius Beebe

Zen martini: A martini with no vermouth at all. And no gin, either. — P. J. O'Rourke

Gardening is a kind of disease. It infects you, you cannot escape it. When you go visiting, your eyes rove about the garden; you interrupt the serious cocktail drinking because of an irresistible impulse to get up and pull a weed. — Lewis Gannett

People Writing About Martini

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Read quotes by M. F. K. Fisher

M. F. K. Fisher
quotes on education, leadership and life

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Read quotes by George Burns

George Burns
quotes on aging, marriage and love

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Read quotes by Noel Coward

Noel Coward

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Read quotes by Dorothy Parker

Dorothy Parker
quotes on stupidity, love and writing

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Read quotes by Ian Fleming

Ian Fleming

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Read quotes by James Thurber

James Thurber
quotes on education, life and love

185 1867

More Martini Quotes

Fondue sets, martini shakers and juicing machines: three things the world could live completely without. — Doug Coupland

I bought a piano once because I had the dream of playing As Time Goes By as some girl's leaning on it drinking a martini. Great image. But none of it worked out. I can't even play Chopsticks. But I've got a nice piano at my house! — George Clooney

All the charming and beautiful things, from the Song of Songs, to bouillabaisse, and from the nine Beethoven symphonies to the Martini cocktail, have been given to humanity by men who, when the hour came, turned from tap water to something with color in it, and more in it than mere oxygen and hydrogen. — H. L. Mencken

All my life I've been terrible at remembering people's names. I once introduced a friend of mine as Martini. Her name was actually Olive. — Tallulah Bankhead

You can no more keep a martini in the refrigerator than you can keep a kiss there. The proper union of gin and vermouth is a great and sudden glory; it is one of the happiest marriages on earth and one of the shortest-lived. — Bernard Devoto

A priest is sent to Alaska. A bishop goes up to visit one year later. The bishop asks, How do you like it up here? The priest says, If it wasn't for my Rosary, and 2 martinis a day, I'd be lost. Bishop, would you like a martini? Yes. Rosary, get the bishop a martini! — Henny Youngman

Bond is part of the system. He's an imperialist and a misogynist, and he laughs at killing people, and he sits there slugging martinis. It'll never be the same thing as this, because Bourne is a guy who is against the establishment, who is paranoid and on the run. I just think fundamentally they're just very different things. — Matt Damon

I should like to elbow aside the established pieties and raise my martini glass in salute to the mortal arts of pleasure. — Bob Shacochis

I'm not out there screaming that women are drinking bourbon, but I think it's a great beverage as an option. I've got nothing against drinking a Cosmo or Martini. It's not like one is judging the other. It's just delicious and slow and steady, and there's something about sipping a bourbon that to me is very relaxing. — Mila Kunis

If you told me to write a love song tonight, I'd have a lot of trouble. But if you tell me to write a love song about a girl with a red dress who goes into a bar and is on her fifth martini and is falling off her chair, that's a lot easier, and it makes me free to say anything I want. — Stephen Sondheim

The three-martini lunch is the epitome of American efficiency. Where else can you get an earful, a bellyful and a snootful at the same time? — Gerald R. Ford

I want to be a superhero. Maybe I'll be a bartending superhero who shakes martinis to save the world. — Shanola Hampton

There is something about a martini, Ere the dining and dancing begin, And to tell you the truth, It is not the vermouth- I think that perhaps it's the gin. — Ogden Nash

Drink reacts on its practitioners in conflicting ways. One brave can knock off a quart of Scotch and look and act as sober as Herbert Hoover. Another, after three Martinis, makes two-cushion carroms off the chaise lounge as he attempts to negotiate the bathroom. — Tallulah Bankhead

When I have one martini, I feel bigger, wiser, taller. When I have a second, I feel superlative. When I have more, there's no holding me. — William Faulkner

They say that a martini is like a woman's breast. One ain't enough and three is too many. — Chris Gayle

Keep things informal. Talking is the natural way to do business. Writing is great for keeping records and putting down details, but talk generates ideas. Great things come from out luncheon meetings which consist of a sandwich, a cup of soup, and a good idea or two. No martinis. — T. Boone Pickens

Martinis are like breasts, one isn't enough, and three is too many. — Herb Caen

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