No Taxes. Let's just tip the government 15% if they do a good job. — Pat Paulsen
Make no mistake, tax cheaters cheat us all, and the IRS should enforce our laws to the letter. — Tom Daschle
The fact is that the government, like a highwayman, says to a man: Your money, or your life. And many, if not most, taxes are paid under the compulsion of that threat. — Lysander Spooner
If you make any money, the government shoves you in the creek once a year with it in your pockets, and all that don't get wet you can keep. — Will Rogers
I have always paid income tax. I object only when it reaches a stage when I am threatened with having nothing left for my old age - which is due to start next Tuesday or Wednesday. — Noel Coward
If you want to teach your kids about taxes, eat 38% of their ice cream. — Jordan Belfort
Success is never owned, it is rented, and the rent is due every day. — Rory Vaden
Every rejection is incremental payment on your dues that in some way will be translated back into your work. — James Lee Burke
Whatever advantage we snatch beyond a certain portion allotted us by at nature, is like money spent before it is due, which, at the time of regular payment, will be missed and regretted. — Samuel Johnson
What I always wanna tell young people now: Pay attention. This isn't gonna happen again.
Love is a check, that can be forged, that can be cashed. Love is a payment that comes due. — Janet Fitch
Gratitude is most treasured when it is unexpected. When we expect, even demand gratitude, we treat it simply as payment due for some service we rendered and we squeeze any good feeling out of it. — Michael Josephson
Ma was legally blind due to a degenerative eye disease she'd had since birth. This meant she was entitled to welfare, and our lives revolved around the first day of every month when her payment was due. — Liz Murray
You will have bad times, but they will always wake you up to the stuff you weren't paying attention to.
In FY 2006, interest payments alone on the national debt cost us $406 billion. . . . What a waste. . . . That $406 billion is pathetically squandered on interest, just because we lacked the discipline to pay our bills when due. — Bill Press
Taxes Funny Quotes
Worried about an IRS audit? Avoid what's called a red flag. That's something the IRS always looks for. For example, say you have some money left in your bank account after paying taxes. That's a red flag — Jay Leno
Our party has been accused of fooling the public by calling tax increases 'revenue enhancement'. Not so. No one was fooled — Dan Quayle
The way taxes are, you might as well marry for love — Joe Louis
Mistakes are part of the dues that one pays for a full life.
Lottery: A tax on people who are bad at math. — Ambrose Bierce
The politicians say 'we' can't afford a tax cut. Maybe we can't afford the politicians. — Steve Forbes
Now I lay me down to sleep, I pray the Lord my soul to keep. — Neil Peart
Service to others is the rent you pay for your room here on Earth.
A fool and his money are soon invited everywhere. — Warren Buffett
It's income tax time again, Americans: time to gather up those receipts, get out those tax forms, sharpen up that pencil, and stab yourself in the aorta — Dave Barry
A tax is a fine for doing well, a fine is a tax for doing wrong. — Mark Twain
Congress can raise taxes because it can persuade a sizable fraction of the populace that somebody else will pay — Milton Friedman
Tax Day Quotes
Elections should be held on April 16th- the day after we pay our income taxes. That is one of the few things that might discourage politicians from being big spenders. — Thomas Sowell
One thing is clear: The Founding Fathers never intended a nation where citizens would pay nearly half of everything they earn to the government. — Ron Paul
Do not fucking quit because hard work and all the shit you go through will pay off.
I don't think that we need to see [Donald Trump] tax returns to verify his financial acumen. I walk into the Trump Tower every day and I'm like, this guy did pretty well for himself before I got here. — Kellyanne Conway
Income tax filing and payment day should be moved from April 15th to November 1st so it can be close to election day. People ought to have their tax bills fresh in mind as they go to vote. — Steven G. Calabresi
I talk to nurses and programmers, salespeople and firefighters - people who bust their tails every day. Not one of them - not one - stashes their money in the Cayman Islands to avoid paying their fair share of taxes. — Elizabeth Warren
The service you do for others is the rent you pay for your room here on Earth.
Hating the Yankees is as American as pizza pie, unwed mothers, and cheating on your income tax. — Mike Royko
In my home state of Indiana we prove every day that you can build a growing economy on balanced budgets, low taxes. — Mike Pence
I won't talk about what it was like in prison, except to say I'm glad I'm out and that I plan never to go back and to pay my taxes every day. — Richard Pryor
The only difference between a tax man and a taxidermist is that the taxidermist leaves the skin. — Mark Twain
Raising Taxes Quotes
Covertly invest into non-White areas, invest in ghetto abortion clinics. Help to raise
money for free abortions, in primarily non-White areas. Perhaps abortion
clinic syndicates throughout North America, that primarily operate in
non-White areas and receive tax support, should be promoted. — Margaret Sanger
But a government which raises taxes to fund a monarch’s lavish lifestyle will engender mass resentment among his population, endangering the legitimacy of his rule and making it ever more precarious. — Saifedean Ammous
Hyperinflation can take virtually your entire life's savings, without the government having to bother raising the official tax rate at all. — Thomas Sowell
Education is every day and everywhere, the only thing you have to pay is attention.
And let me make this very clear - unlike President Obama, I will not raise taxes on the middle class. As president, I will protect the sanctity of life. I will honor the institution of marriage. And I will guarantee America's first liberty: the freedom of religion. — Mitt Romney
Obama and Biden want to raise taxes by a trillion dollars. Guess what? Yes we do. — Joe Biden
The financial crisis should not become an excuse to raise taxes, which would only undermine the economic growth required to regain our strength. — George W. Bush
Forget about your life situation and pay attention to your life. Your life situation exists in time. Your life is now. Your life situation is mind-stuff. Your life is real.
If a tax on malt would raise the price of beer, a tax on bread must raise the price of bread. — David Ricardo
Let us be clear about our choice. When we raise taxes on the wealthiest Americans, no one dies. When we cut Social Security and Medicare, people die. — Annabel Park
My friends and I have been coddled long enough by a billionaire-friendly Congress. — Warren Buffett
When the federal government spends more each year than it collects in tax revenues, it has three choices: It can raise taxes, print money, or borrow money. While these actions may benefit politicians, all three options are bad for average Americans. — Ron Paul
Payroll Tax Quotes
I can make a firm pledge, under my plan, no family making less than $250,000 a year will see any form of tax increase. Not your income tax, not your payroll tax, not your capital gains taxes, not any of your taxes. — Barack Obama
The revenue stream for Social Security benefits comes from payroll taxes, which are credited to the Social Security Trust Fund - accounting for the program's finances separately from the rest of the budget. — Jerome Powell
The reality is that the workforce relative to the number of people retired has shrunk and today in America there are only 3.3 working Americans paying payroll taxes to support each individual currently retired and collecting Social Security taxes. — John Shadegg
An investment in knowledge pays the best interest
For more than forty years, the United States Congress has shamelessly used payroll taxes intended for Social Security to fund big government spending. — Mike Pence
Congress has changed the Social Security system over time, and over 20 times in the past Congress has raised taxes on Social Security in payroll taxes into the system. — Chris Chocola
While good business ideas are plentiful, many entrepreneurs struggle to understand payroll taxes, health care and other thorny issues… In other words, they don't have the financial literacy to scale their businesses and attract investors. — Daymond John
Politeness and courteousness are a small price to pay for the goodwill of others.
Social Security is a widely popular program because the individual has been deceived by the Statist to believe that the government has been prudently and diligently managing his accumulated pension investment in his Social Security account, which he presumes to be funded by his own payroll taxes. — Mark Levin
If you look at the Forbes 400, they are paying a lower rate, accounting payroll taxes, than their secretary or - whomever around their office. — Warren Buffett
Did folks know that the tax to fund the program [Social Security] only hits salaries up to $110,000? That means that if you make a million bucks, about 90% of your salary is tax free when it comes to the payroll tax that funds Soc Sec. That ain't right. — Jared Bernstein
More retirees, longer life expectancy, larger benefits, and fewer workers - these trends have meant substantial increases in the payroll tax. Since the social security program began, the payroll tax has increased more than 500 percent. — Alex Tabarrok
High Taxes Quotes
Inheritance taxes are so high that the happiest mourner at a rich man's funeral is usually Uncle Sam. — Olin Miller
Inheritance taxes are so high that the happiest mourner at a rich man's funeral is usually Uncle Sam. — Richard Miller
When taxes are too high, people go hungry. When the government is too intrusive, people lose their spirit. Act for the people's benefit. Trust them; leave them alone. — Lao Tzu
Price is what you pay. Value is what you get.
Now they got such a high inheritance tax on 'em that you won't catch these old rich boys dying promiscuously like they did. This bill makes patriots out of everybody. You sure do die for your country if you die from now on. — Will Rogers
Every time you cut programs, you take away a person who has a vested interest in high taxes and you put him on the tax rolls and make him a taxpayer. A farmer on subsidies is part welfare bum, whereas a free-market farmer is a small businessman with a gun. — Grover Norquist
For those who aspire to live in a high cost, high tax, big government place, our nation and the world offers plenty of options. Vermont, Canada and Venezuela all offer you the opportunity to live in the socialist, big government paradise you long for. — Marco Rubio
I never had the high-paying job or the company car. It took me over a decade to pay off my student loans. I never had to worry about where to dock my yacht to reduce my taxes. — Christine O'Donnell
Men at a distance, who have admired our systems of government unfounded in nature, are apt to accuse the rulers, and say that taxes have been assessed too high and collected too rigidly. — Henry Knox
Americans are hard working, innovative, proud people who want bad government policies and high taxes to get out of the way so they can take care of their families and pursue their dreams. — Tim Walberg
Taxpayer Quotes
As a religion, bilingualism is the god that failed. It has led to no fairness, produced no unity, and cost Canadian taxpayers untold millions. — Stephen Harper
According to the California Hospital Association, health care for illegal aliens is costing state taxpayers well over $1 billion a year. Eighty-four hospitals across California have already been forced to close because of unpaid bills by illegal aliens. — Ann Coulter
A new investigation reveals a US taxpayer-funded private social network built to discredit pesticide critics—including scientists and journalists. Personal info tracked, dissent suppressed—all to downplay the dangers of these chemicals. Your tax dollars at work. Unbelievable. — Max Lugavere
When the state calls you a taxpayer, it's equivalent to a rapist calling his victim his girlfriend. — Javier Milei
That’s because he was man of deep thought and integrity. He thought giving away the taxpayers’ money to a large corporation was not in the best interest of the taxpayer. — Bill Miller
When a new source of taxation is found it never means, in practice, that the old source is abandoned. It merely means that the politicians have two ways of milking the taxpayer where they had one before. — H. L. Mencken
Christopher Columbus was the first socialist: he didn't know where he was going, he didn?t know where he was? and he did it all at taxpayers expense. — Winston Churchill
As President, I will end once and for all the use of taxpayer funds to promote the National Endowment for the Arts and other programs that subsidize amoral and degrading activities. — Gary Bauer
The federal and state governments should ban the use of taxpayer funds to support cloning and embryonic stem cell research. — Sandy Adams
We don't need new taxes. We need new taxpayers, people that are gainfully employed, making money and paying into the tax system. And then we need a government that has the discipline to take that additional revenue and use it to pay down the debt and never grow it again. — Marco Rubio
Federal Taxes Quotes
Every two weeks, I'd get a small pay-check and notice the line where federal and state income taxes were deducted from my wages. — James David Vance
Instead of talking about cuts in Social Security, Medicare and Medicaid, we must end the absurdity of corporations not paying a nickel in federal income taxes. — Bernie Sanders
Balance the federal budget now, not 15 years from now, not 20 years from now, but now. And throw out the entire federal tax system, replace it with a fair tax, a consumption tax, that by all measurements is just that. It's fair. — Gary Johnson
The Original Sin which brought us to the brink of bankruptcy and dictatorship was the Federal Income Tax Amendment and its illegitimate child, Federal Aid. — Tom Anderson
A tax cut means higher family income and higher business profits and a balanced federal budget. — John F. Kennedy
The federal government has taken too much tax money from the people, too much authority from the states, and too much liberty with the Constitution. — Ronald Reagan
Why can't Americans do their own taxes? Because the federal Tax Code is out of control, that's why. It's gigantic and insanely complex, and it gets worse all the time. Nobody has ever read the whole thing. IRS workers are afraid to go into the same ROOM with it. — Dave Barry
Federal government shutdowns are unsettling, because you realize how little you depend on it compared to the money you give in taxes. — Roosh V
Obama's Democrats have become the part of no. Real cuts to federal budget? No. Entitlement reform? No. Tax reform? No. Breaking the corrupt and fiscally unsustainable symbiosis between public-sector unions and state governments? Hell no. — Charles Krauthammer
Mr. Obama plans to boost federal spending 25 percent while nearly tripling the national debt over 10 years. Americans know that this kind of spending will have economic consequences, including new taxes being imposed by the new progressives. — Karl Rove
We often think about happiness as trying to increase our joy, but it's also about decreasing our worry. So what you get for paying those high taxes is, if you're a parent thinking about putting your child through school, you don't have to worry about it, because all education through college is free. — Dan Buettner
I think trading Bitcoin while reading twitter is a bad idea. The news that governments expect you to pay your taxes and abide by existing laws should not be driving panic in the marketplace. The main stream interpretations are almost always the opposite of the true implication. — Michael Saylor
I also think that if you want to put a price on carbon, why not just do it with a simple tax? Why not ask motorists to pay more, why not ask electricity consumers to pay more and then at the end of the year you can take your invoices to the tax office and get a rebate of the carbon tax you've paid — Tony Abbott
If you get up early, work late, and pay your taxes, you will get ahead -- if you strike oil. — J. Paul Getty
If you can manipulate news, a judge can manipulate the law. A smart lawyer can keep a killer out of jail, a smart accountant can keep a thief from paying taxes, a smart reporter could ruin your reputation- unfairly. — Mario Cuomo
In a system where the cost of care is hidden by taxes levied on your income, property, and business activities, it is no wonder why so many Americans rely on Medicaid to pay their long term care. — Michael Burgess
What works for Sweden wouldn't work for France or Germany or Italy. In a small state, you can reach outside for many of your activities. In a homogeneous culture, they are willing to pay higher taxes in order to achieve commonly held goals. But "common goals" are much harder to come by in larger, more heterogeneous populations. — Milton Friedman
In a system where the cost of care is hidden by taxes levied on your income, property, and business activities, it is no wonder why so many Americans rely on Medicaid to pay their long term care. — Michael C. Burgess
I always want to say to people who want to be rich and famous: 'try being rich first'. See if that doesn't cover most of it. There's not much downside to being rich, other than paying taxes and having your relatives ask you for money. But when you become famous, you end up with a 24-hour job. — Bill Murray
Government: If you refuse to pay unjust taxes, your property will be confiscated. If you attempt to defend your property, you will be arrested. If you resist arrest, you will be clubbed. If you defend yourself against clubbing, you will be shot dead. These procedures are known as the Rule of Law. — Edward Abbey
Interesting thing about being rich is once you pay your taxes, you're still rich. — Lewis Black
Citizenship in the 21st century requires more than paying your taxes and voting and occasionally running for office. That even if you're never in political office, you have political responsibilities. You can make your society stronger and better. — William J. Clinton
Everything we do is escapism, because we'll all be dead and everything we do is completely meaningless. Why brush your teeth? Why not be in the park with the bums passing a short dog? Why pay taxes, why get educated? Of course literature is an escape. You have to fill the hours. — T.C. Boyle
Your tax dollars are being used to pay for grade school classes that teach our children that CANNIBALISM, WIFE-SWAPPING, and the MURDER of infants and the elderly are acceptable behavior. — Jesse Helms
We owe more money than any Nation in the World, and we are LOWERING TAXES. When is the time to pay off a debt if it is not when you are doing well? You let a Politician return home from Washington and announce, 'Boys we lowered your taxes. We had to borrow the money to do it, but we did it.' Say, they would elect him for life. — Will Rogers
You wanna be counter-culture? You wanna be a total rebel? Get a job! You wanna be counter-culture, totally alternative, radical? Be a virgin until you get married...to a person of the opposite gender. And then stay married and pump out some kids and pay your taxes and read the Bible, you freak. You'll be just totally a rebel. — Mark Driscoll
The stage I chose--a subject fair and free--
'Tis yours--'tis mine--'tis public property.
All common exhibitions open lie,
For praise or censure, to the common eye.
Hence are a thousand hackney writers fed;
Hence monthly critics earn their daily bread.
This is a general tax which all must pay,
From those who scribble, down to those who play. — Charles Churchill
I find it extraordinary that I'm being told I can't trust you the voter to get a government in to protect workers rights and that we need Brussels to defend you, the euro is a broken project we are going to pay, no you are going to pay out of your taxes one bailout out of another and the European union does not protect your jobs. — Gisela Stuart
Your taxes are due a week from today. You can make out your check directly to Halliburton. Or you can do what I'm going to do. I'm filing my first joint return. No, I'm not getting married, I'm sending the IRS an actual joint with a note that says, 'If you think I'm paying for this war, you must be high.' — Bill Maher
You can never really own real estate for instance; if you think you can, just try not paying your property taxes for a few years. — Michael Maloney
It is an inconvenience, being located in a city where taxes are ludicrously high, where you pay twice your annual income to rent an apartment that could easily be carried on a commercial airline flight. — Dave Barry
One of the loveliest weddings I ever performed was that of a gay couple. To me if you are a good citizen, you pay your taxes, you work, you should have all the rights and responsibilities of everybody else. — Judy Sheindlin
You don't pay taxes; they take them from your check. That's not a payment - that's a 'jack. — Chris Rock
The rich pay more in total taxes now than ever before - ever. It's true. Just like it's true that when the rich are convinced they're going to be taxed more, they spend less. And when the top few percenters don't spend, there goes all your spending, because they account for half of all retail spending. — Neil Cavuto
And a special thank you to the citizens of Massachusetts: You are paying all the taxes, creating all the jobs, raising all the children. This government is yours. Thank you for letting me serve you. I love this job. — Mitt Romney
If you have a system that says everybody who needs healthcare gets it and we're going to make sure that it gets paid for by raising your taxes and providing the requirements on individuals where they have the ability to pay, such as we determine as appropriate, then the insurance issue doesn't come up. — Glenn Loury
Congress has all sorts of rules, hedge fund managers, private equity managers, executives, movie stars, fall into that allow them to escape or defer into the future not paying their taxes. And if you can defer your tax into the future, it's the best deal in the world, because you don't just get to eat your cake and have it too. You get to eat your cake and have a bigger cake. — Hillary Clinton
If you're a full-time manager of your own property - and full-time, according to Congress, is 15 hours a week - you can take unlimited depreciation and use it to offset your income from other areas and pay little in tax. One of the biggest real estate tax lawyers in New York said to me, if you're a major real estate family and you're paying income taxes, you should sue your tax lawyer for malpractice. — Hillary Clinton
The worst loophole is what Donald Trump has talked about: the tax deductibility of interest. If you let real estate owners or corporate raiders borrow the money to buy a property or company, and then pay interest to the bondholders, you'll load the company you take over with debt. But you don't have to pay taxes on the profits that you pay out in this way. You can deduct the interest from your tax liability. — Michael Hudson
If you're a wealthy heir with a trust fund, and you sell stocks, make your 10% gains since Donald Trump, and then you buy other stocks, you can avoid paying taxes. And if your accountant registers your wealth offshore in a Panamanian fund, like Russian kleptocrats do - and as more and more Americans do - you don't have to pay any tax at all, because it's not American income, it's foreign income in an enclave without an income tax. — Michael Hudson
In real estate you can avoid ever having to pay a capital gains tax, decade after decade, century after century. When you sell a property and make a capital gain, you simply turn around and buy a new property. The gain is not taxed. It's called "preserving your capital investment" - which goes up and up in value with each transaction. — Michael Hudson
Is it wrong to love another man? Of course not. It's not. And is it wrong to love your son, marry your son, to avoid paying taxes? Of course the people that would probably do this are people on the left who want everybody to pay more taxes. — Rush Limbaugh
In the United States, the day when you pay your taxes is a day of mourning because this alien force - the government - is coming to rob you of your hard-earned money. That's the general attitude, and it's a tremendous victory for the opponents of democracy, and, of course, any privileged sector is going to hate democracy. You can see it in the healthcare debate. — Noam Chomsky
In a democracy the day when you pay your taxes, April 15, would be a day of celebration, because you're getting together to provide resources for the programs you decided on. — Noam Chomsky
Sometimes, you know, once you pay your taxes and once you pay your expenses, once you've lived this life, things add up quickly. And it's easy to become a statistic. And that's something I've always tried to avoid, and I've always said, hey - not that it won't be me, that, hey, it could be me. — Venus Williams
If you behave like a good citizen, and you upgrade and improve your property, your reward will be the government will take more money from you. So using that analogy, you should let your house become the shithole on the block and they'll reduce your taxes and you'll pay less. Be a bad citizen with your neighbors, right? You'll save money then. — Jesse Ventura
I'm the strongest advocate you can imagine for doing things honestly and paying your taxes. Take advantage of every tax break you're legally entitled to. But I follow the letter of the law, because the consequences are severe if you're caught. I was a perpetrator at one time and suffered severe consequences. It is difficult in some places, but if you live in places like California, move somewhere else to save some money. — Michael Franzese
Hearing politicians tell us we can't afford a tax cut is like listening to a glutton tell you he can't afford a diet. In no other context do people talk about paying for money they don't have. I can't pay for your refusal to give me money because I need a yacht. — Ann Coulter
Leaving America means renouncing your citizenship, moving out of the country and leaving family and friends behind. You can retain your citizenship if you like, but you'll still be away from loved ones and still be paying taxes. You lose all the good stuff about America and have to keep all the bad stuff. — Michael Arrington
If you've been frugal during your life and tried to save, you're penalised by the tax system. You pay tax on your wages, your savings and even your private pension. — Geoff Capes
It is your tax which pays for public spending. The government have no money of their own. There is only taxpayers' money. — Margaret Thatcher
The moral of the story of the Pilgrims is that if you work hard all your life and behave yourself every minute and take no time out for fun you will break practically even, if you can borrow enough money to pay your taxes. — Will Cuppy
Save your money, pay your taxes, it doesn't last forever. — Stone Cold Steve Austin
You have phantom income each year. No money is being put in your pocket, but you have to take some money out of your pocket to pay Uncle Sam because the tax is paid based on accretion. — Scott Walker
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