When there's no girls around, there's humor. — Joe Gatto
His laugh is made if porch swings and lemonade — Augusten Burroughs
Kyle Baker's work is really funny, but it's also got a very clear vision — Bill Sienkiewicz
I have been accused of being a joker. But the most successful art to me involves humor. — Man Ray
He who laughs last, laughs best. — Triple H
I think the next best thing to solving a problem is finding some humor in it. — Frank A. Clark
There is nothing more precious than laughter — Frida Kahlo
The longer and more carefully we look at a funny story, the sadder it becomes. — Nikolai Gogol
Funniest Simpsons Image Quotes
Great Simpsons Quotes
Vampires are make-believe, like elves, gremlins, and eskimos. — Matt Groening
America's health care system is second only to Japan, Canada, Sweden, Great Britain, well ... all of Europe. But you can thank your lucky starts we don't live in Paraguay! — Matt Groening
I’ll keep it short and sweet - Family. Religion. Friendship. These are the three demons you must slay if you wish to succeed in business. — Matt Groening
You tried your best and you failed miserably. The lesson is 'never try.' Homer Simpson — Matt Groening
It's not whether you win or lose, it's how you place the blame. — Oscar Wilde
Weaseling out of things is important to learn. It's what separates us from the animals... except the weasel. — Matt Groening
First you get the sugar, then you get the power, then you get the women. — Matt Groening
Homer no function beer well without. — Matt Groening
I like my beer cold, my TV loud, and my homosexuals flaming. — Matt Groening
Oh, loneliness and cheeseburgers are a dangerous mix. — Matt Groening
Simpson Quotes
Son, if you really want something in life, you have to work for it. Now quiet, they're about to announce the lottery numbers. — Matt Groening
OJ Simpson was in a different kind of courtroom this week attempting to regain custody of his two children. In order to prove to the court how much he loves his kids, OJ pointed out quote 'Hey, they're still alive, aren't they?' — Norm MacDonald
I'm kind of a dork. I don't have much game. I'm not particularly comfortable in bars or clubs. I much prefer being home playing Scrabble, having dinner with a couple friends, going to see a movie, or losing a whole weekend to Season 14 of Law and Order or The Simpsons. — Wentworth Miller
When the American people saw the LA riots and crowds of Blacks cheering O.J. Simpson (who was acquitted by the almost all Black jury), they received a peek into their future. — David Duke
When I look at the smiles on all the children's faces...I just know they're about to jab me with something. — Matt Groening
Everything I know about pop culture I know from 'The Simpsons,' and they say the Grammys aren't very good. — Jonny Greenwood
You know boys, a nuclear reactor is a lot like women. You just have to read the manual and press the right button. — Matt Groening
The O.J. Simpson case, they had no understanding of that DNA evidence, and didn't want to. — Joseph Wambaugh
I'm not a bad guy! I work hard, and I love my kids. So why should I spend half my Sunday hearing about how I'm going to Hell? — Dan Castellaneta
I believe that in your heart you already know something is profoundly wrong. When bartenders are responsible for drunk drivers' acts, and gunmakers are responsible for criminals' acts, and nobody is responsible for O. J. Simpson's acts, something is wrong. — Charlton Heston
Getting out of jury duty is easy. The trick is to say you're prejudiced against all races. — Dan Castellaneta
Guilt, remorse. It's what separates us from the animals. — Arthur Mitchell
When will I learn? The answers to life's problems aren't at the bottom of a bottle. They're on TV! — Matt Groening
I've always wondered if there was a God. And now I know there is -- and it's me. — Homer
It's not easy to juggle a pregnant wife and a troubled child, but somehow I managed to fit in eight hours of TV a day. — Matt Groening
If the Bible has taught us nothing else, and it hasn't, it's that girls should stick to girls sports, such as hot oil wrestling, foxy boxing, and such and such. — Dan Castellaneta
Old people don't need companionship. They need to be isolated and studied so it can be determined what nutrients they have that might be extracted for our personal use. — Homer
Art is what separates us from the animals. — Iimani David
If you don't like your job, you don't strike! You just go in every day, and do it really half assed. That's the American way. — Homer
Revenge is good. It's what separates us from the animals and the hippies. — Christopher Titus
Pffft, English. Who needs that? I'm never going to England. — Homer
But you can't stop at one, you wanna drink another woman! — Homer
How is education supposed to make me feel smarter? Besides, every time I learn something new, it pushes some old stuff out of my brain. Remember when I took that home winemaking course, and I forgot how to drive? — Matt Groening
I'm in no condition to drive...wait! I shouldn't listen to myself, I'm drunk! — Yogi Berra
I'm normally not a praying man, but if you're up there, please save me, Superman. Homer Simpson — Matt Groening
But Marge, what if we chose the wrong religion? Each week we just make God madder and madder. — Matt Groening
The only monster here is the gambling monster that has enslaved your mother, and I call him Gamblor! — Homer
This anonymous clan of slack-jawed troglodytes has cost me the election, and yet if I were to have them killed, I would be the one to go to jail. That's democracy for you. — Charles Montgomery
Why, you could wake up dead tomorrow — Homer
You never know when an old calendar might come in handy! Sure, it's not 1985 right now, but who knows what tomorrow will bring? — Homer
Good things don't end in -eum; they end in -mania or -teria. — Homer
Remember that postcard Grandpa sent us from Florida of that Alligator biting that woman's bottom? That's right, we all thought it was hilarious. But, it turns out we were wrong. That alligator was sexually harassing that woman. — Homer
Operator! Give me the number for 911! — Dan Castellaneta
If something goes wrong at the plant, blame the guy who can't speak English. — Dan Castellaneta
I just grew up with it [The Simpsons]. The first season came on when I was 5, 6 years old, and the show evolved as I was growing up and got funnier and funnier and, by the time I was in 12th grade, they were at their funniest. — Eric Andre
In Conclusion
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