I'm funny how, I mean funny like I'm a clown? — Joe Pesci
The most exciting phrase to hear in science, the one that heralds new discoveries, is not 'Eureka!' but 'That's funny...' — Isaac Asimov
I be goofy, kinda funny. Acting stupid but they love me. — Mac Miller
I'm funny on camera sometimes. In life, once in a while. Once in a while. — Gene Wilder
I don't know. I think it's funny! I think it's funny! I go, what? It's so absurd. I'm alone. — Danny Devito
Comedy is simply a funny way of being serious. — Peter Ustinov
When a thing is funny, search it carefully for a hidden truth. — George Bernard Shaw
Voyeurism, watching people go about their daily lives, is universally funny, no matter the culture, no matter the anything, it's just always funny to watch people. — James Murray
If you can't laugh at yourself, you're cooked! — Elizabeth Taylor
Life is funny and it is interesting how we make it as serious as possible. — Elisha Cuthbert
You can tell how smart people are by what they laugh at. — Tina Fey
The funniest people are the saddest once — Confucius
A sense of humor is just common sense dancing. — William James
Art must make you laugh a little and make you a little afraid. Anything as long as it doesn't bore. — Jean Dubuffet
I wish I had a funny story. — Leslie Easterbrook
Cool Funny Image Quotes
I'm not addicted to cocaine. I just like the way it smells. — Richard Pryor
To thrive in life you need three bones. A wishbone. A backbone. And a funny bone.
Cute Funny Quotes
We were together. I forget the rest. — Walt Whitman
Never love anyone who treats you like you're ordinary. — Oscar Wilde
A friend is someone who knows the song in your heart, and can sing it back to you when you have forgotten the words. — Donna Roberts
Isn't it funny how day by day nothing changes, but when you look back everything is different.
Life is funny. Things change, people change, but you will always be you, so stay true to yourself and never sacrifice who you are for anyone. — Zayn Malik
My sister just had a baby, a little newborn. The kid is adorable, so cute. She wouldn't let me hold him, she refuses. She says, 'No way, Anthony, I'm afraid you're gonna drop him.' I'm 32 years old. Like I'm some kind of idiot. Like I don't have a million other ways to hurt that baby. — Anthony Jeselnik
I want to rob a bank with a BB gun. "Give me all your money or I will give you a dimple! I will be rich, you will be cute. We both win." — Mitch Hedberg
I tried to be normal once. Worst to minutes of my life.
A Brother may not be a Friend, but a Friend will always be a Brother. — Benjamin Franklin
Careful grooming may take twenty years off a woman's age, but you can't fool a flight of stairs. — Marlene Dietrich
Happiness is like peeing in your pants. Everyone can see it, but only you can feel the warmth. — Jon Foreman
Good Funny Quotes
Expecting the world to treat you fairly because you are a good person is a little like expecting the bull not to attack you because you are a vegetarian. — Dennis Wholey
Having sex is like playing bridge. If you don't have a good partner, you'd better have a good hand. — Woody Allen
I've lost a million and a half on the horses and dice in the last two years. And the funny part is, I still like 'em, and if someone handed me another million I'd put it right in the nose
of some horse that looked good to me. — Al Capone
No matter how educated, talented, rich or cool you believe you are, how you treat people ultimately tells all.
A good friend is a connection to life - a tie to the past, a road to the future, the key to sanity in a totally insane world. — Lois Wyse
A good speech should be like a woman's skirt: long enough to cover the subject and short enough to create interest — Winston Churchill
Women need a reason to have sex, men just need a place. — Billy Crystal
love the life you live. live the life you love. — Bob Marley
There is a planet named Pluto, but we don't have one named Goofy. Goofy would be a good name for this planet. It certainly qualifies. — Sayings
Be willing to be a beginner every single morning. — Meister Eckhart
Cool Movie Quotes
What we've got here is failure to communicate. Some men you just can't reach. — Strother Martin
My friends that are snobs think its cool I did a movie with Albert Brooks. — Robin Tunney
I just thought it could make a really cool movie. It's not that it's just a buddy comedy but it's all about two guys hating each other and towards the end they're good friends. I liked that these two guys were best friends from the very beginning, and they're crazy. — Sean William Scott
Never miss a good chance to shut up.
I bizarrely think that this [Sin City] is the perfect date movie. If a guy took me on a date to see this movie, I would marry him, for sure. It's bad-ass chicks and rad dudes, who are sexy, all over the place, and there's so much cool action. — Jessica Alba
We're gonna try and bring on all the different aspects of horror movie making and bring on guests and show all these old '50's B movies. Not the real corny ones, the real cool ones. — Gerald Caiafa
I've been around the movie business, so I can play it cool and all that, but when people are different they have that off thing about them. Their whole presence is just a little innocent, I think. — River Phoenix
Trust me, You can dance.
I know what you're thinking 'Did he fire six shots or only five? — Clint Eastwood
Violence in real life is terrible; violence in movies can be cool. It's just another colour to work with. — Quentin Tarantino
I was in a movie called 'Vanishing on 7th Street,' and that was my first leading role in a movie. It's an apocalyptic thriller, and it's really cool. It's the first movie I ever shot. — Jacob Latimore
Punk's influence on music, movies, art, design and fashion is no longer in doubt. It is used as the measurement for what is cool. — Malcolm Mclaren
Cool Person Quotes
I stop fighting my inner demons. We're on the same side now. T-shirt — Darynda Jones
Rationalism belongs to the cool observer. But because of the stupidity of the average person, they follow not reason, but faith. This naïve faith, requires necessary illusions and emotionally potent oversimplifications, which are provided by the myth maker to keep the ordinary person on course. — Sayings
I want to go on record as saying that I am chasing cool. — James Murray
Personally, I was never the cool kid. I was always sort of a bookworm. — Zac Efron
I am a very open, social, friendly person, and when it comes to people approaching me and asking for an autograph, I am totally cool with doing any of that. It's a lot of fun. — Corbin Bleu
Becoming yourself is really hard and confusing, and it's a process. It's often not cool to be the person who puts themselves out there. — Emma Watson
I never forget a face, but in your case I'll be glad to make an exception.
I'm the most chill person I know...I'm happy with myself...I'm not perfect, but I'm cool with that. — Freddie Prinze, Jr.
I just really like fun, cool, interesting, quirky girls. And sometimes you find that in 6'2 model bodies and sometimes they're short and brunette. All shapes and sizes - it's really about the personality. That sounds cliche, but it's so freaking true! — Dylan O'Brien
Man… ninjas are kind of cool… I just don’t know any personally. — Kanye West
Draco's not really a bully. He's not exactly the biggest, strongest guy in the world. He's more a rich, snobby person. He thinks of himself as really cool. — Tom Felton
Cool Things Quotes
The coolest thing is when you don’t care about being cool anymore. Indifference is the greatest aphrodisiac - that’s what really sums up style for me. — Rick Owens
My ex-girlfriend owned a parakeet…oh my god, that f**king thing would never shut up. But the bird was cool. — Anthony Jeselnik
I soon became aware that there wasn't enough time or opportunity to kiss all the girls in the world. The best thing is to stay cool - just be choosy and wait for the right opportunity. — Chet Baker
Everything is funny as long as it is happening to somebody else.
The coolest thing is when you don't care about being cool. — Rick Owens
Obviously the thing that's cool about games - a basketball game is just a basketball game. — Jensen Huang
Everything flows and nothing abides; everything gives way and nothing stays fixed... Cool things become warm, the warm grows cool; the moist dries, the parched becomes moist... It is in changing that things find repose. — Heraclitus
From there to here, and here to there, funny things are everywhere.
I've done all kinds of cool things as an actor - I've jumped out of helicopters and done some daring stunts and played baseball in a professional stadium, but none of it means anything compared to being somebody’s daddy. — Sayings
I think people appreciate a songwriter who shows different sides. The whole angst thing is cool, but if that's all you've got, it's just boring. Everything I write, whether it's happy or sad, has a sense of humor to it. — Katy Perry
The ability to keep things in perspective is very important for a journalist. In a tense situation you need the ability to be there, yet somehow step aside; to keep a cool head and keep working without getting frustrated. — Philip Jones Griffiths
Cleaners are rule-breakers when they have to be; they only care about the end result. When things go wrong and everyone else starts to panic, the Cleaner is calm and unflappable, cool and steady, never too high or too low, never too happy or too depressed. — Tim Grover
Cool Stuff Quotes
Rule No. 1 is you can't be fake. If you're fake, you become a gimmick and you're selling a gimmick; a little gimmick is cool, this is entertainment. But when you base your stuff on mostly real stuff, you never run out of it because every day is a different adventure. — Nas
As soon as I was old enough to peer over the worktops, I remember being fascinated by what went on in the kitchen. It just seemed such a cool place, everyone working together to make this lovely stuff and having a laugh doing it. — Jamie Oliver
My English is perfect. I just like to say garbled nonsense to throw people off and keep them from bothering me. Cryptic is cool and it just adds to my mystique. I mean, Cancellara says some wacky stuff in English and nobody makes fun of him. — Peter Sagan
If Plan A doesn't work, the alphabet has 25 more letters! Stay cool.
I know you're supposed to set goals for yourself. I see all that motivational stuff on television. Think about the future, what's next! But I'm all into the journey. It's fascinating to me. So if I make certain what I want moment to moment, I'm cool at the crossroads. — Cassandra Wilson
The cool thing about being famous is traveling. I have always wanted to travel across seas, like to Canada and stuff. — Britney Spears
Money can't buy happiness. But it sure can rent it for awhile.
I just think if I can go from being a homeless kid with a dream of being in the biggest band in the world and making that happen, I can do a lot of other cool stuff, too. — Nikki Sixx
I was born imagining myself with an apron on, with pies cooling on the window sill and babies crying upstairs. I thought that all that stuff would somehow anchor me to the planet, that it was the weight I needed to keep from just flying off into space. — Carrie Fisher
Your anger will cool into hardened passionate insight if you wait a day. Most of the things that make me angry I let them sit. The heat that remains will be sufficient. The stuff that evaporates is the stuff that would have simply offended or made it histrionic. — Keith Olbermann
My mother used to take me to flea markets in my stroller, and I would just rummage through the piles. You've got to dig through the overstuffed racks that everyone else just walks by. It's the only way to find the cool stuff. — Lily Collins
Super Cool Quotes
The internet is super smart. If you do something that is cool, that's actually worth people's time, then they'll adopt it. If you do something that's not cool and sucks, you can spend as many marketing dollars as you want, [they] just won't — Gabe Newell
My wife is so hot so I don't care it I lose every stage of the 2015 Tour to Kittle. Yea, he's got cool hair but my wife is super hot. — Mark Cavendish
I'm jealous of my parents. I'll never have a kid as cool as theirs. — Chris Gayle
I mean, I have a great job. I get to dress up and become somebody else, especially when it's someone like Legolas, who's this super-cool kind of otherworldly elf. It's, like, I'm lucky, man, so why would I not appreciate that? — Orlando Bloom
I don't go to the cool, trendy restaurants. I go to either the holes in the wall or the super-fancy restaurants where there are no cool people. — Tyra Banks
Hover boards, unfortunately, currently violate the laws of physics. Supermagnets exist, but they have to be cooled to near absolute zero, and they are extremely expensive. So Michael J. Fox's hover boards are not possible until we invent room temperature super conductors. — Michio Kaku
You know, you grow up with the image of John Travolta being super cool - 'Saturday Night Fever,' Brian De Palma, handsome young god... he, in reality, is a very silly man. And I mean that in a good way. He'll walk around the set talking in little weird voices, making people laugh. — Eric Stoltz
Once I became a cop. I dived into that career. I never wanted to be an LAPD officer because I thought 'LA is super dangerous, not the place I'd want to be a cop'. But as a boy of course I was into guns, cops and robbers, so that's why it was cool to me and thought 'Yeah I could do this job'. — Eric Hernandez
People always come up to me now and say, 'Watchmen' is the best superhero movie ever made.' I'm always saying 'That's super cool. That's nice of you to say.' But it happens now, more and more and more than it did when it first came out. — Zack Snyder
I am super-proud to have a sort of famous character in my background that if you're a certain age, he was probably a part of your youth. I think that's pretty cool. — Adam Brody
Cool Love Quotes
Speed has never killed anyone. Suddenly becoming stationary, that's what gets you. — Jeremy Clarkson
It'll be dangerous," Nyssa warned him. "Hardship, monsters, terrible suffering. Possibly none of you will come back alive." "Oh." Suddenly Leo didn't look so excited. Then he remembered everyone was watching. "I mean... Oh, cool! Suffering? I love suffering! Let's do this. — Rick Riordan
There is a battle that goes on between men and women. Many people call it love. — Edvard Munch
They're the smartest, most cunning, slick, coolest group of people on the planet. Generation Z, I love y'all. — Logan Paul
We choose those we like; with those we love, we have no say in the matter. — Mignon McLaughlin
I'll love you until the day after forever. — Kami Garcia
One of the things I love about the way men communicate with each other is that we can argue, fall out and fight and a few minutes later we can move on and be cool. — Konstantin Kisin
I was walking around trying to act cool, like I had no fear at all.
But I was afraid, afraid that somebody would find out just how scared I was.
Now I'm finally realizing that fear is the opposite of love. — Stevie Ray Vaughan
It'd be cool to be a vampire. Vampires are the best beast you can ever be. Call me egotistical, but I love the whole idea of immortality. — Gerard Way
It's amazing how people can sound like retards when they're talking to their girlfriend, especially if they really love her a lot. Because when you're just fucking someone you make a point of keeping your cool, but when you're really in love - it can sound pretty repulsive. — Etgar Keret
Real Funny Quotes
There's nothing inherently dirty about sex, but if you try real hard and use your imagination you can overcome that. — Lewis Grizzard
Dogs are animals that poop in public and you're supposed to pick it up. After a week of doing this, you've got to ask yourself, "Who's the real master in this relationship?" — Anthony Griffin
If the physical thing you're doing is funny, you don't have to act funny while doing it...Just be real and it will be funnier — Gene Wilder
There is nothing I would not do for those who are really my friends. I have no notion of loving people by halves, it is not my nature. — Jane Austen
Auto racing, bull fighting, and mountain climbing are the only real sports... all the others are games. — Ernest Hemingway
I did. I did see Bigfoot when I was a kid and I still believe it to this day. I saw a big furry man outside my window. It's not funny! It was real. — Barry Watson
The antidote for fifty enemies is one friend. — Aristotle
Better to have loved and lost than to live with regret. — Big Pun
True friends are like diamonds – bright, beautiful, valuable, and always in style. — Nicole Richie
Cool Guy Quotes
You have brains in your head. You have feet in your shoes. You can steer yourself in any direction you choose. You're on your own, and you know what you know. And you are the guy who'll decide where to go. — Dr. Seuss
I've never been the type of guy that had a lot of friends or was part of the cool group. — Jim Jefferies
People look at me and see a calm, cool guy on the sidelines and I want them to know that my Christian faith affects my coaching and everything I do. — Tony Dungy
I had to break up with my last girlfriend for lying about being raped by her neighbor. But I've met her neighbor, he's a cool guy. Not like her other creepy ass neighbor though. — Anthony Jeselnik
But when you're a working actor - and that's what you keep saying in your head, how blessed you are to have a job - and you are working with heavyweights, working with the best guys in TV, it's pretty cool. Exhausting, but cool. — Christopher Meloni
In Hollywood today, it's cool for guys to wear nail polish and earrings in their lips and tongues. I don't get it. — Scott Caan
A guy's biggest style mistake is definitely trying to look too cool. As long as you've got a good pair of jeans, a good pair of boots and a few good shirts, you're fine. — Sayings
It was important to me to be cool as a comedian. I didn't want to be a crowd-pleaser who sent out the vibe of, "I need you guys." I wanted to be so cool that the audience could leave and I would still be killing, that I didn't want to have to rely on them or need them. That really appealed to me. — Anthony Jeselnik
Look at Scottish guys wearing kilts - you could look at them and laugh, but the way they carry themselves, how can you? You can wear some of the weirdest things and be cool. If you believe in it, that's what makes it cool. — Andre Benjamin
Humor is laughing at what you haven't got when you ought to have it ... what you wish in your secret heart were not funny, but it is, and you must laugh. Humor is your own unconscious therapy. Like a welcome summer rain, humor may suddenly cleanse and cool the earth, the air, and you. — Langston Hughes
Symmetry is pleasing but not as sexy. Einstein is cool but Picasso knows what I'm talking about. — Amy Poehler
You can steer yourself in any direction you choose. — Dr. Seuss
You cannot help but learn more as take the world into your hands. Take it up reverently, for it is and old piece of clay, with millions of thumbprints on it. — John Updike
Hemp is of first necessity to the wealth & protection of the country. — Thomas Jefferson
Most beginners want to learn lead because they think it's cool .. consequently, they never really develop good rhythm skills .. since most of a rock guitarists time is spent playing rhythm, it's important to learn to do it well .. learning lead should come after you can play solid backup and have the sound of the chords in your head — Eddie Van Halen
The very nature of cool is that you think about it too much and it becomes uncool. — Don Johnson
That would be cool if you could eat a good food with a bad food and the good food would cover for the bad food when it got to your stomach. Like you could eat a carrot with an onion ring and they would travel down to your stomach, then they would get there, and the carrot would say, It's cool, he's with me. — Mitch Hedberg
A man commented to his lunch companion: My wife had a funny dream last night. She dreamed she'd married a millionaire. You're lucky, sighed the companion. My wife dreams that in the daytime. — Sam Ewing
It's always cool on the airplane when people are watching “SVU.” It’s funny. And it’s always the reruns. — Kelli Giddish
Like Richard Price and the late, great Elmore Leonard, Matt Burgess is one of those cool, quick and funny writers who can turn a seemingly routine crime caper into something special. — Carl Hiaasen
That’s cool and all but also screw you. — Markiplier
Sometimes people deserve a high five, in the face, with a chair. — Will Rogers
Forgiveness is a funny thing. It warms the heart and cools the sting. — William Arthur Ward
We shall, by and by, want a world of hemp more for our own consumption. — John Adams
Spread joy. Chase your wildest dreams. — Patch Adams
I enjoy smoking cannabis and see no harm in it — Jennifer Aniston
It's funny, I don't even consider myself a rapper, I don't consider myself a designer, or even an actor. I just like creating stuff and trying to make good work, whatever it is. I don't care if it's designing toothbrushes. It's just making cool stuff to leave behind, that's all it is, it's nothing more. — Andre Benjamin
Love is like swallowing hot chocolate before it has cooled off. It takes you by surprise at first, but keeps you warm for a long time. — Henri Frederic Amiel
I'm one of those guys like whatever the situation is, as long as people are cool and everybody is trying to be funny, I have a good time. — Bill Burr
Mumps, measles, and puppy love are terrible after twenty. — Mignon McLaughlin
When you go to a bar that has a black light, everybody looks cool. Except for me, because I was under the impression that the mustard stain came out. — Mitch Hedberg
But here’s the thing: Appropriation occurs when a style leads to racist generalizations or stereotypes where it originated, but is deemed as high fashion, cool, or funny when the privileged take it for themselves. Appropriation occurs when the appropriator is not aware of the deep significance of the culture that they are partaking in. — Amandla Stenberg
Winter must be cold for those with no warm memories. — Deborah Kerr
What strikes me as funny about Elvis is that all the impersonators choose to do the Vegas Elvis; not the young, cool guy, always the bloated fool. — Bill Hicks
When I was a kid, I inhaled. Frequently. That was the point. — Barack Obama
I think pot should be legal. I don’t smoke it, but I like the smell of it. — Andy Warhol
If you ask me, I'd like to become the first female president. That would be really cool. The first thing I would do is redecorate the White House, it doesn't look very cozy. — Jennifer Lopez
I'd like to name my kid a whole phrase. You know, something like Ladies and Gentlemen. That'll be a cool name for a kid. This is my son, Ladies and Gentlemen! Then, when he gets out of hand, I get to go, Ladies and Gentlemen, please! — Louis C. K.
When I was in England, I experimented with marijuana a time or two, and I didnt like it, and I didnt inhale, and I never tried again. — William J. Clinton
Music is the art which is most nigh to tears and memories. — Oscar Wilde
The music that I make isn't really like any of the music that I listen to. I think I listen to cool music, but I know that I don't make cool music - so it's kind of funny! — Brooke Fraser
A well known American writer said once that, while everybody talked about the weather, nobody seemed to do anything about it. — Charles Dudley Warner
I think being funny had something to do with feeling like an outsider, not feeling cool - insecurity. — Kumail Nanjiani
I don't get the regular AIDS test anymore. I get the roundabout AIDS test. I ask my friend Brian, "Do you know anybody who has AIDS?". He says, "No". I say, "Cool, because you know me." — Mitch Hedberg
What beefsteak is to Argentina, flamenco to Spain, cool reserve and self-control in all situations to an Englishman, what vodka is to a Russian and beer to a Bavarian, what money is to a Swiss, that is outdoor-life to an Australian. It is a noble mania, better than vodka, better than cool reserve, better than money. — George Mikes
I experimented with marijuana a time or two. — William J. Clinton
What about a compromise? I’ll kill them first, and if it turns out they were friendly, I’ll apologize. — Rick Riordan
Nothing burns like the cold. — George R. R. Martin
There are really cool or funny videos, or visually stunning photos, and that's fine, but none of them really give you more when you close that tab, you know? I try to find stuff that a little bit, in a tiny way changes how you see something about the world. — Maria Popova
Sometimes when I do a joke and it doesn't get a lot of laughs, it kind of feels like I'm doing jazz. That's kinda cool because jazz is cool, but sometimes jazz sucks ... Maybe I'm the Kenny G of comedy. — Mike Birbiglia
Funny thing how you first meet the woman that you marry. I first met the wife in a tunnel of love. She was digging it. — Les Dawson
Courtney Love is really cool and funny. I would like to meet Julia Roberts and Cameron Diaz. I think I could play their daughters. — Dakota Fanning
In Conclusion
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