I'm funny on camera sometimes. In life, once in a while. Once in a while. — Gene Wilder
Being funny is one of my greatest strengths. I can make girls smile when they're down, and when they're having a good time, I can carry on the joke. — John Krasinski
I be goofy, kinda funny. Acting stupid but they love me. — Mac Miller
The funniest people are the saddest once — Confucius
Comedy is simply a funny way of being serious. — Peter Ustinov
God writes a lot of comedy... the trouble is, he's stuck with so many bad actors who don't know how to play funny. — Garrison Keillor
When there's no girls around, there's humor. — Joe Gatto
If you can't laugh at yourself, you're cooked! — Elizabeth Taylor
We love to make people laugh - it's just something we do. — James Murray
The test of a real comedian is whether you laugh at him before he opens his mouth. — George Jean Nathan
The best humor is offered up to you by the stupidity of your opponents. — Barney Frank
Kyle Baker's work is really funny, but it's also got a very clear vision — Bill Sienkiewicz
Short Real Funny Quotes
I'm a goofy girl. I like to laugh and I like to make other people laugh. — Gal Gadot
Humor is mankind's greatest blessing. — Mark Twain
We are all here for a spell, get all the good laughs you can. — Will Rogers
When a thing is funny, search it carefully for a hidden truth. — George Bernard Shaw
The best ideas come as jokes. Make your thinking as funny as possible. — David Ogilvy
A sense of humor is just common sense dancing. — William James
I don't know. I think it's funny! I think it's funny! I go, what? It's so absurd. I'm alone. — Danny Devito
The Internet is a great place to find unconventional comedy that you can't find anywhere else. — Andy Dick
Many a true word is spoken in jest. — English Proverbs
I'm not a naturally funny man. I find that I can only be funny, if I become someone else. — Rowan Atkinson
Real Funny Image Quotes
Better to have loved and lost than to live with regret. — Big Pun
Friends should be like books, few, but hand-selected. — C.J. Langenhoven
The real difficulty is to overcome how you think about yourself.
Super Funny Quotes
I couldn't repair your brakes, so I made your horn louder. — Steven Wright
People naturally want to retweet and engage on super funny videos and memes. — Jake Paul
There's a fine line between masturbating while you look out a window, and masturbating while you're looking in a window. I'll give you a hint: one of 'em is super illegal. — Dave Attell
It is when you finally learn that your are all in your mind that your real life begins.
Condoms should be marked in 3 sizes: jumbo, colossal and super colossal, so that men do not have to go in and ask for the small. — Barbara Seaman
I like someone who has a super gentle spirit and energy. I’m really gentle, and so I like a boy who will treat me that way. — Megan Fox
It's funny, but when there are dominant teams, there are a number of people who rail about the fact that they're always seeing the Dallas Cowboys or the San Francisco 49ers or the Green Bay either in the playoffs or in the Super Bowl. — Al Michaels
To thrive in life you need three bones. A wishbone. A backbone. And a funny bone.
People think it must be fun to be a super genius, but they don't realize how hard it is to put up with all the idiots in the world. — Bill Watterson
I think it's always funny when somebody thinks you're going to do something super sexy and then you don't. — Olivia Munn
If you're OK with being clumsy, it's funny. But if you are super embarrassed, people are going to laugh at you. — Leo Howard
If the Super Bowl is really the ultimate game, why do they play it again next year? — Duane Thomas
Good Funny Quotes
Expecting the world to treat you fairly because you are a good person is a little like expecting the bull not to attack you because you are a vegetarian. — Dennis Wholey
Having sex is like playing bridge. If you don't have a good partner, you'd better have a good hand. — Woody Allen
I've lost a million and a half on the horses and dice in the last two years. And the funny part is, I still like 'em, and if someone handed me another million I'd put it right in the nose
of some horse that looked good to me. — Al Capone
Isn't it funny how day by day nothing changes, but when you look back everything is different.
A good friend is a connection to life - a tie to the past, a road to the future, the key to sanity in a totally insane world. — Lois Wyse
A good speech should be like a woman's skirt: long enough to cover the subject and short enough to create interest — Winston Churchill
A friend is someone who knows the song in your heart, and can sing it back to you when you have forgotten the words. — Donna Roberts
Women need a reason to have sex, men just need a place. — Billy Crystal
love the life you live. live the life you love. — Bob Marley
There is a planet named Pluto, but we don't have one named Goofy. Goofy would be a good name for this planet. It certainly qualifies. — Sayings
Extremely Funny Quotes
Men Wanted for Dangerous Expedition: Low Wages for Long Hours of Arduous Labour under Brutal Conditions; Months of Continual Darkness and Extreme Cold; Great Risk to Life and Limb from Disease, Accidents and Other Hazards; Small Chance of Fame in Case of Success. — Ernest Shackleton
Hitler was a vegetarian. Just goes to show, vegetarianism, not always a good thing. Can in some extreme cases lead to genocide. — Bill Bailey
The standard four food groups are based on American agricultural lobbies. Why do we have a milk group? Because we have a National Dairy Council. Why do we have a meat group? Because we have an extremely powerful meat lobby. — Marion Nestle
I tried to be normal once. Worst to minutes of my life.
Epcot Center also features pavilions built by various foreign nations, where you can experience an extremely realistic simulation of what life in these nations would be like if they consisted almost entirely of restaurants and souvenir stores. — Dave Barry
When I was a kid, I used to watch 'Laurel and Hardy' with my cousins all the time. I still think they're extremely funny and so surreal. — David Chase
I mean they [ Bradley Cooper, Zach Galifianakis] are both just really good guys and also they're both extremely funny in very unique ways. We made each other laugh an awful lot, and that goes a long way. And we also went through some hard times. I mean it was hard to make this movie [The Hangover]. — Ed Helms
Real integrity is doing the right thing, knowing that nobody is going to know whether you did it or not.
Optimism isnt funny unless you are laughing at the person, whereas extreme pessimism is extremely funny. Its exaggeration. — Steve Toltz
From Kelsey, I have learned among many other things the value of turning on a dime and how you can have an extremely funny and extremely poignant moment with absolutely no separation in between... and sometimes in the same moment. — David Hyde Pierce
It's funny, though, because when I first started going to races after we met, I was extremely nervous. It's like being backstage and hoping you don't trip over something or break an amp or accidentally speak into a live microphone, so I was really hesitant. — Ashley Judd
The European drivers have adapted to this circuit extremely quickly, especially Paul Radisich who's a New Zealander. — Murray Walker
Being Funny Quotes
If you find it hard to laugh at yourself, I would be happy to do it for you. — Groucho Marx
I'm gonna kick your teeth so far down your throat you'll be able to chew your own ass out for pissin' me off. — The Undertaker
The real question is not whether life exists after death. The real question is whether you are alive before death.
Being broke is a joke, I never found it funny / That's why I count my blessings / As much as I count my money... — Fabolous
A loving relationship is one in which the loved one is free to be himself -- to laugh with me, but never at me; to cry with me, but never because of me; to love life, to love himself, to love being loved. Such a relationship is based upon freedom and can never grow in a jealous heart — Leo Buscaglia
I consider myself a crayon... I may not be your favorite color but one day you'll need me to complete your picture. — Lauryn Hill
A real leader faces the music, even when he doesn't like the tune.
There is no such thing as bad whiskey. Some whiskeys just happen to be better than others. But a man shouldn't fool with booze until he's fifty; then he's a damn fool if he doesn't. — William Faulkner
Politicians and diapers must be changed often, and for the same reason. — Mark Twain
If you want your wife to listen to you, then talk to another woman; she will be all ears. — Sigmund Freud
Life is funny. Things change, people change, but you will always be you, so stay true to yourself and never sacrifice who you are for anyone. — Zayn Malik
Cute Funny Quotes
We were together. I forget the rest. — Walt Whitman
Never love anyone who treats you like you're ordinary. — Oscar Wilde
My sister just had a baby, a little newborn. The kid is adorable, so cute. She wouldn't let me hold him, she refuses. She says, 'No way, Anthony, I'm afraid you're gonna drop him.' I'm 32 years old. Like I'm some kind of idiot. Like I don't have a million other ways to hurt that baby. — Anthony Jeselnik
The real workout starts when you want to stop.
I want to rob a bank with a BB gun. "Give me all your money or I will give you a dimple! I will be rich, you will be cute. We both win." — Mitch Hedberg
A Brother may not be a Friend, but a Friend will always be a Brother. — Benjamin Franklin
Careful grooming may take twenty years off a woman's age, but you can't fool a flight of stairs. — Marlene Dietrich
Happiness is like peeing in your pants. Everyone can see it, but only you can feel the warmth. — Jon Foreman
There is nothing I would not do for those who are really my friends. I have no notion of loving people by halves, it is not my nature. — Jane Austen
My sister taught me everything I really need to know, and she was only in sixth grade at the time. — Linda Sunshine
Cool Funny Quotes
Humor is laughing at what you haven't got when you ought to have it ... what you wish in your secret heart were not funny, but it is, and you must laugh. Humor is your own unconscious therapy. Like a welcome summer rain, humor may suddenly cleanse and cool the earth, the air, and you. — Langston Hughes
I'm not addicted to cocaine. I just like the way it smells. — Richard Pryor
Speed has never killed anyone. Suddenly becoming stationary, that's what gets you. — Jeremy Clarkson
Real knowledge is to know the extent of one's ignorance.
Symmetry is pleasing but not as sexy. Einstein is cool but Picasso knows what I'm talking about. — Amy Poehler
You can steer yourself in any direction you choose. — Dr. Seuss
You cannot help but learn more as take the world into your hands. Take it up reverently, for it is and old piece of clay, with millions of thumbprints on it. — John Updike
Hemp is of first necessity to the wealth & protection of the country. — Thomas Jefferson
The very nature of cool is that you think about it too much and it becomes uncool. — Don Johnson
A man commented to his lunch companion: My wife had a funny dream last night. She dreamed she'd married a millionaire. You're lucky, sighed the companion. My wife dreams that in the daytime. — Sam Ewing
It's always cool on the airplane when people are watching “SVU.” It’s funny. And it’s always the reruns. — Kelli Giddish
Laugh Out Loud Funny Quotes
I now consider it a good day when I don't step on my boobs. — Joan Rivers
There is nudity, of course striptease is an essential component of burlesque but it's much more complex and intelligent than a display of nudity for nudity itself. And its often laugh-out-loud funny. — Karen Abbott
The confessions can touch on every human emotion. They can be laugh-out-loud funny, for sure, they can be heart-breaking, they can be sexual or hidden acts of kindness, they can be romantic. — Frank Warren
Cherry Money Baby is fabulous in every sense of the word! It’s earthy and smart and moving, laugh-out-loud funny, surprising, inventive, suspenseful, and — Oh, Hell — just gorgeously written! — Tim Wynne-Jones
I love the way Damon Lindelof writes. It's almost like he was channeling me and he had my voice, even though the territory that those lines cover is unpredictable, and goes from raw emotion to laugh out loud funny but always true. — Scott Glenn
It was a role [Dean Sanderson] I hadn't seen before, and yet it was very accessible and relatable at the same time. I read scripts that have one or the other, but I rarely read scripts that have both. And it was laugh-out-loud funny. — Rob Lowe
I tend to look at the world more from Voltaire's perspective. Incidentally, if you haven't read Candide lately, it's a fabulous book. It's riotously, laugh-out-loud funny in a way that no Shakespeare comedy will ever be. — George Meyer
Reading Alan Zweibel makes me laugh out loud. And yet it is not a particularly funny name. — Eric Idle
Brilliant. . . . Marriage Confidential is both laugh-out-loud funny and gasp-out-loud shocking, and nothing less than a Feminine Mystique for our time. Mark my words, your marriage will change after reading this book. — Debby Applegate
Hysterically Funny Quotes
My mental hands were empty, and I felt I must do something as a counterirritant or antibody to my hysterical alarm at getting married at the age of 43. — Ian Fleming
In fact, [Gene Wilder] had made a hysteric seem considerably less funny in his film debut as a terrified undertaker in "Bonnie And Clyde." And neurotics soon became his stock-in-trade, whether he was playing the weird title character in "Willy Wonka And The Chocolate Factory..." — Gene Wilder
My heart is so light that it's amazing. I get to play all this grief, all this loss, all this disaster and chaos. It's hysterically funny. I am very light. — Linda Hamilton
Hysterically funny, amazingly talented people. That's what I think of when I think of Canada. That, and cold beer. And mountains. — Richard Patrick
Hysterical in The Mask; funny yet moving in The Truman Show. — Jim Carrey
It's sad and upsetting when you see somebody crying hysterically, but at the same time it's real funny. — Seth Green
You should look up some of the reviews. The New York Times review is so over-the-top funny. It's hysterical. You should dig it out. — Judd Apatow
Any man that has had a mother, has a sister, wants to be a father will find this [movie Bad Moms] incredibly eye opening and hysterical and funny. — Mila Kunis
The great thing about Eminem is, he's just hysterical. You forget, people like Eminem because he is riotously funny. And he's a great actor. — Judd Apatow
It's sad and upsetting when you see somebody crying hysterically, but at the same time it's real funny. — Seth
Fun Movie Quotes
That's what we do, man, we're like storytellers. We tell you stories from the streets. Whether we did it before when we was young or we heard it from one of the homies telling us a tale of what he been through. It's all in having fun and creating a movie like vibe to tell a tale from the streets. — Kurupt
Male menopause is a lot more fun than female menopause. With female menopause you gain weight and get hot flashes. Male menopause ? you get to date young girls and drive motorcycles. — John Wayne
I am very happy to be alive. There is much fun to be had. Music, movies, books, paintings, drawingsI hope you have these things where you are. If you have them, what does the real world matter anyway? — John Frusciante
When they first cast me, I was a pretty avid fan and vampire movies and Celtic mythology, so I was excited to get a chance to walk in Doyle's shoes and have fun with it. — Glenn Quinn
And I always had this idea for making a movie about a femme fatale, because I like these characters. They're a lot of fun, they're sexy, they're manipulative, they're dangerous. — Brian De Palma
Plus, doing a zombie movie is quite liberating. It's fun not to take myself seriously all the time. — Sarah Polley
Listen, you make a big movie, you're going into the Coliseum, and people are going to give you the thumbs up or the thumbs down. And that's part of the game. It's part of the fun as well. — Sam Mendes
I don't watch the movies I make, so I haven't seen 'Footloose' since it came out. You see this young, hungry actor, it's pretty fun. I was the only one they screen tested. It was an attempt by the director and producer to talk the head of the studio into hiring me because they didn't want me. — Kevin Bacon
I remember, especially like when I was in high school, going to see like Dawn of the Dead and it was like mayhem in the theater and you could barely even watch the movie. It was so fun. — Rob Zombie
I just filmed a movie with my boyfriend, an indie film called 'Conception.' And it's kind of like an R-rated version of 'Valentine's Day.' So it's like all about eight couples, and me and my boyfriend play one of them together. And that was a lot of fun. — Sarah Hyland
Hilarious Quotes
Never argue with stupid people, they will drag you down to their level and then beat you with experience. — Mark Twain
When I die, I want to die like my grandfather who died peacefully in his sleep. Not screaming like all the passengers in his car. — Will Rogers
The duty of a patriot is to protect his country from its government. — Edward Abbey
Going to church doesn't make you a Christian any more than going to a garage makes you an automobile. — Billy Sunday
The only way to comprehend what mathematicians mean by Infinity is to contemplate the extent of human stupidity. — Voltaire
Why waste your money looking up your family tree? Just go into politics and your opponent will do it for you. — Mark Twain
I asked God for a bike, but I know God doesn't work that way. So I stole a bike and asked for forgiveness. — Emo Philips
There is a place you can touch a woman that will drive her crazy. Her heart. — Melanie Griffith
Always borrow money from a pessimist. He won't expect it back. — Oscar Wilde
Have you noticed that all the people in favor of birth control are already born? — Benny Hill
There's nothing inherently dirty about sex, but if you try real hard and use your imagination you can overcome that. — Lewis Grizzard
Dogs are animals that poop in public and you're supposed to pick it up. After a week of doing this, you've got to ask yourself, "Who's the real master in this relationship?" — Anthony Griffin
If the physical thing you're doing is funny, you don't have to act funny while doing it...Just be real and it will be funnier — Gene Wilder
Auto racing, bull fighting, and mountain climbing are the only real sports... all the others are games. — Ernest Hemingway
I did. I did see Bigfoot when I was a kid and I still believe it to this day. I saw a big furry man outside my window. It's not funny! It was real. — Barry Watson
The antidote for fifty enemies is one friend. — Aristotle
True friends are like diamonds – bright, beautiful, valuable, and always in style. — Nicole Richie
Buy real records in real shops, or I'll come round your house and scream at your mother. — Ian Gillan
Real love amounts to withholding the truth, even when you're offered the perfect opportunity to hurt someone's feelings. — David Sedaris
Putts get real difficult the day they hand out the money. — Lee Trevino
For a long time, I refused to wear jeans. I liked high-waisted pants, but jeans made me feel like I wasn't being unique. Even now, I won't wear the skinny-jeans style, because most people wear those - they have to be baggier, boyfriend-looking, or sort of like a mom jean. I'm real funny that way. — Elle Fanning
The disc, being flat, has no real horizon. Any adventurous sailor who got funny ideas from staring at eggs and oranges for too long and set out for the antipodes soon learned that the reason why distant ships sometimes looked as though they were disappearing over the edge of the world was that they were disappearing over the edge of the world. — Terry Pratchett
There is nothing like puking with somebody to make you into old friends. — Sylvia Plath
The heart can get really cold if all you've known is winter. — Benjamin Alire Saenz
Relationships are like farting, If you push too hard things could get messy real fast. — Kevin Hart
I do this real moron thing, and it's called thinking. And apparently I'm not a very good American because I like to form my own opinions. — George Carlin
No friendship is an accident. — O. Henry
The real competition is against the little voice inside you that wants to quit — George A. Sheehan
If Spiderman was real, and I was a criminal, and he shot me with his web, I would say, "Dude, thanks for the hammock." — Mitch Hedberg
Lust is the sin that gets me excited. Luckily, because I'm married, I also get really good jewelry out of it. — Heather Locklear
It's funny; it's a real balancing act. In TV, everybody's talking about authenticity. In order to make 'Dirty Jobs' authentic, I really can't be overly informed. The minute I am, I become a host It's a very tricky business paying a tribute to work, because TV is very bad at it. — Mike Rowe
When I get real bored, I like to drive downtown and get a great parking spot, then sit in my car and count how many people ask if I'm leaving. — Steven Wright
I feel bad for people who have never been addicted to anything, because they're the real losers. You want to know why? Because they don't know what it's like to really want something - and then get it again and again and again. — Marc Maron
Hrithik is the go-to guy for queries related to diet. He is great with expressions and is funny in real life. I wonder why someone hasn't cast him in a comic role yet. — Farhan Akhtar
Lots of people want to ride with you in the limo. — Oprah Winfrey
You Too? I thought I was the only one. — C. S. Lewis
The real excitement is playing the game. — Donald Trump
One measure of friendship consists not in the number of things friends can discuss, but in the number of things they need no longer mention. — Clifton Fadiman
If you have two friends in your lifetime, you're lucky. If you have one good friend, you're more than lucky — S. E. Hinton
There's not a word yet, for old friends who've just met. — Jim Henson
Well in the book Carrie was my alter ego. In real life, Sarah Jessica and I don't look anything alike. But people do say that we sound alike. Sarah Jessica is an adorable girl and she is very funny. — Candace Bushnell
No human investigation can be called real science if it cannot be demonstrated mathematically. — Leonardo da Vinci
How rare and wonderful is that flash of a moment when we realize we have discovered a friend. — William Rotsler
Being his real brother I could feel I live in his shadows, but I never have and I do not now. I live in his glow. — Michael Morpurgo
It's funny how the colors of the real world only seem really real when you watch them on a screen. — Anthony Burgess
Unless each day can be looked back upon by an individual as one in which he has had some fun, some joy, some real satisfaction, that day is a loss. — Dwight D. Eisenhower
A funny thing happened to the First Amendment on its way to the public forum. According to the Supreme Court, money is now speech and corporations are now people. But when real people without money assemble to express their dissatisfaction with the political consequences of this, they’re treated as public nuisances and evicted. — Robert Reich
Love is blind, but marriage is a real eye-opener. — Paula Deen
You can't be a real country unless you have a beer. — Frank Zappa
I went out with this girl the other night, she wore this real slinky number...She looked great going down the stairs. — Milton Jones
I don't know that there are real ghosts and goblins, But there are always more trick-or-treaters than neighborhood kids. — Robert Breault
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