Income tax returns are the most imaginative fiction being written today. — Herman Wouk
You don't pay taxes - they take taxes. — Chris Rock
As American taxpayers know too well, the tax code is incredibly complex and compliance is all to expensive. — Jim Ramstad
Always overpay your taxes.That way you'll get a refund. — Meyer Lansky
Income tax filing and payment day should be moved from April 15th to November 1st so it can be close to election day. People ought to have their tax bills fresh in mind as they go to vote. — Steven G. Calabresi
Santa is having a tough time this year. Last year he deducted eight billion for gifts, and the IRS wants an itemized list — Milton Berle
I have always paid income tax. I object only when it reaches a stage when I am threatened with having nothing left for my old age - which is due to start next Tuesday or Wednesday. — Noel Coward
Elections should be held on April 16th- the day after we pay our income taxes. That is one of the few things that might discourage politicians from being big spenders. — Thomas Sowell
A heavy progressive or graduated income tax. — Karl Marx
Inheritance Tax; - it is, broadly speaking; a voluntary levy paid by those who distrust their heirs more than they dislike the Inland Revenue — Roy Jenkins
No Taxes. Let's just tip the government 15% if they do a good job. — Pat Paulsen
The avoidance of taxes is the only intellectual pursuit that still carries any reward. — John Maynard Keynes
The fact is that the government, like a highwayman, says to a man: Your money, or your life. And many, if not most, taxes are paid under the compulsion of that threat. — Lysander Spooner
A tax cut means higher family income and higher business profits and a balanced federal budget. — John F. Kennedy
Lottery: A tax on people who are bad at math. — Ambrose Bierce
Tax Returns Image Quotes
Kindness is not a business. True kindness expects nothing in return and should never act with conditions.
Tax Returns Quotes
My belief is that the vast majority of people using digital currency today are not seeking to evade taxes. They are simply investors seeking returns and people interested in a nascent new technology. — Brian Armstrong
I don't think that we need to see [Donald Trump] tax returns to verify his financial acumen. I walk into the Trump Tower every day and I'm like, this guy did pretty well for himself before I got here. — Kellyanne Conway
The genius of our ruling class is that it has kept a majority of the people from ever questioning the inequity of a system where most people drudge along, paying heavy taxes for which they get nothing in return. — Gore Vidal
Respect is earned, Honesty is appreciated, Love is gained and Loyalty is returned.
Just as no one is morally required to answer a robber truthfully when he asks if there are any valuables in one’s house, so no one can be morally required to answer truthfully similar questions asked by the State, e.g., when filling out income tax returns. — Murray Rothbard
And it makes you wonder—how can a people incapable of selecting their own lightbulbs and toilets possess enough competence to vote for their own rulers and fill out complicated tax returns? — Mark Levin
I return my tax bill without paying it. My reason for doing so is that women suffer taxation yet have not representation. — Lucy Stone
Help others without any reason and give without the expectation of receiving anything in return.
The best measure of a man's honesty isn't his income tax return. It's the zero adjust on his bathroom scale. — Arthur C. Clarke
The IRS sent back my tax return saying I owed $800. I said If you'll notice, I sent a paper clip with my return. Given what you've been paying for things lately, that should more than make up the difference. — Emo Philips
It was the king's army, the king's people, the king's taxes; and he who questioned the propriety of the royal prerogative of taking from his people without return or accounting, was reckoned, and felt himself to be, a criminal, guilty of the highest crime of disloyalty. — John Buchanan Robinson
All [zoos] actually offer to the public in return for the taxes spent upon them is a form of idle and witless amusement, compared to which a visit to a penitentiary, or even to a State legislature in session, is informing, stimulating and ennobling. — H. L. Mencken
Income Tax Return Quotes
I know everybody's income and what everybody earns,
And I carefully compare it with the income-tax returns — W. S. Gilbert
The only imaginative fiction being written today is income tax returns. — Herman Wouk
When my mother makes out her income tax return every year, under occupation she writes, eroding my daughter's self-esteem. — Robin Roberts
The mind that opens up to a new idea never returns to its original size.
If the Lord had meant us to pay income taxes, he'd have made us smart enough to prepare the return. — Kirk Kirkpatrick
In general, anyone who paid the long distance telephone tax will get the refund on their 2006 federal income tax return. This includes individuals, businesses and non-profit organizations. — Virgil Goode
And to you taxpayers out there, let me say this: Make sure you file your tax return on time! And remember that, even though income taxes can be a 'pain in the neck,' the folks at the IRS are regular people just like you, except that they can destroy your life — Dave Barry
Money Return Quotes
Take the money in your wallet and invest it in your mind. And in return, your mind will fill up your wallet! — Benjamin Franklin
So this is the goal: To make money by increasing net profit, while simultaneously increasing return on investment, and simultaneously increasing cash flow. — Eliyahu M. Goldratt
Too much money, risky and new, asset prices, prospective returns, safety — Howard Marks
Travel. Because money returns, time doesn't.
I basically believe the medical insurance industry should be nonprofit, not profit-making. There is no way a health reform plan will work when it is implemented by an industry that seeks to return money to shareholders instead of using that money to provide health care. — Dianne Feinstein
Paper money eventually returns to its intrinsic value - zero. — Voltaire
I hope all of you are going to fill out your census form when it comes in the mail next month. If you don't return the form the area you live in might get less government money and you wouldn't want that to happen, would you. — Andy Rooney
We are all visitors to this time, this place. We are just passing through. Our purpose here is to observe, learn, grow, love and then return home.
The Rule of 72 is useful in determining how fast money will grow. Take the annual return from any investment, expressed as a percentage, and divide it into 72. The result is the number of years it will take to double your money. — Peter Lynch
I've not found ! one single mutual fund, one single real estate investment, any gold, silver or anything else that has given me higher returns than: me investing in myself. — Patrick Bet-David
Spotify is returning a huge amount of money. We'll overtake iTunes in terms of what we bring to the record industry in under two years. — Sean Parker
Borrow my umbrellas, my clothes, my money, and I will likely not think of them again. But borrow my books and I will be on your track like a bloodhound until they are returned. — Phyllis Mcginley
Federal Taxes Quotes
Every two weeks, I'd get a small pay-check and notice the line where federal and state income taxes were deducted from my wages. — James David Vance
Instead of talking about cuts in Social Security, Medicare and Medicaid, we must end the absurdity of corporations not paying a nickel in federal income taxes. — Bernie Sanders
Balance the federal budget now, not 15 years from now, not 20 years from now, but now. And throw out the entire federal tax system, replace it with a fair tax, a consumption tax, that by all measurements is just that. It's fair. — Gary Johnson
Whatever is yours will always come back to you.
The Original Sin which brought us to the brink of bankruptcy and dictatorship was the Federal Income Tax Amendment and its illegitimate child, Federal Aid. — Tom Anderson
When the federal government spends more each year than it collects in tax revenues, it has three choices: It can raise taxes, print money, or borrow money. While these actions may benefit politicians, all three options are bad for average Americans. — Ron Paul
The federal government has taken too much tax money from the people, too much authority from the states, and too much liberty with the Constitution. — Ronald Reagan
Quit your job, buy a ticket, get a tan, fall in love, never return.
Why can't Americans do their own taxes? Because the federal Tax Code is out of control, that's why. It's gigantic and insanely complex, and it gets worse all the time. Nobody has ever read the whole thing. IRS workers are afraid to go into the same ROOM with it. — Dave Barry
Federal government shutdowns are unsettling, because you realize how little you depend on it compared to the money you give in taxes. — Roosh V
Obama's Democrats have become the part of no. Real cuts to federal budget? No. Entitlement reform? No. Tax reform? No. Breaking the corrupt and fiscally unsustainable symbiosis between public-sector unions and state governments? Hell no. — Charles Krauthammer
Mr. Obama plans to boost federal spending 25 percent while nearly tripling the national debt over 10 years. Americans know that this kind of spending will have economic consequences, including new taxes being imposed by the new progressives. — Karl Rove
Income Tax Quotes
It has been a long road. From a mountain coolie, a bearer of loads, to a wearer of a coat with rows of medals who is carried about in planes and worries about income tax. — Tenzing Norgay
Canadians pay half their income in taxes, wait 2 years to see a specialist, and bleed for 18 hours in an ER next to a dozen addicts looking for free drugs, and then rave about how awesome it is that they have free healthcare. — Saifedean Ammous
Trickle down economics is a fraud. Giving tax breaks to the rich and large corporations does not create jobs. It simply makes the rich richer, enlarges the deficit and increases income and wealth inequality. We need economic policies which benefit working families, not the billionaire class. — Bernie Sanders
Throw me to the wolves and I will return leading the pack.
One thing is clear: The Founding Fathers never intended a nation where citizens would pay nearly half of everything they earn to the government. — Ron Paul
I can make a firm pledge, under my plan, no family making less than $250,000 a year will see any form of tax increase. Not your income tax, not your payroll tax, not your capital gains taxes, not any of your taxes. — Barack Obama
I believe in a graduated income tax on big fortunes, and in . . . a graduated inheritance tax on big fortunes, . . . increasing rapidly in amount with the size of the estate. — Theodore Roosevelt
Always remember: be kind, be fair, be honest, be true and all of these things will return to you.
The art of taxation consists in so plucking the goose as to obtain the largest amount of feathers with the least possible amount of hissing. — Jean-Baptiste Colbert
The income tax is a twentieth-century socialist experiment that has failed. Before the income tax was imposed on us just 80 years ago, government had no claim to our income. Only sales, excise, and tariff taxes were allowed. — Alan Keyes
A consumption tax, a national sales tax makes some sense. But I think that if we move towards a Fair Tax, if we move towards a national sales tax, we have to make sure that we do away with the income tax. — Ken Buck
[S]tatism is but socialized dishonesty; it is feathering the nests of some with feathers coercively plucked from others - on the grand scale. There is no moral difference between the act of a pickpocket and the progressive income tax or any other social program. — Leonard Read
Taxes Funny Quotes
Worried about an IRS audit? Avoid what's called a red flag. That's something the IRS always looks for. For example, say you have some money left in your bank account after paying taxes. That's a red flag — Jay Leno
Our party has been accused of fooling the public by calling tax increases 'revenue enhancement'. Not so. No one was fooled — Dan Quayle
The way taxes are, you might as well marry for love — Joe Louis
Travel. Because money returns time doesn't.
The politicians say 'we' can't afford a tax cut. Maybe we can't afford the politicians. — Steve Forbes
Now I lay me down to sleep, I pray the Lord my soul to keep. — Neil Peart
A fool and his money are soon invited everywhere. — Warren Buffett
It's income tax time again, Americans: time to gather up those receipts, get out those tax forms, sharpen up that pencil, and stab yourself in the aorta — Dave Barry
A tax is a fine for doing well, a fine is a tax for doing wrong. — Mark Twain
Congress can raise taxes because it can persuade a sizable fraction of the populace that somebody else will pay — Milton Friedman
Then there was the man who declared in court, he wasn't a person. "Excuse me, sir, why haven't you paid your taxes." "Well, as you can clearly see, I am not a person." "Well, you look like a person." "No it's all done with mirrors, trust me!" — Lewis Black
Free Tax Quotes
If taxes are laid upon us without our having a legal representation where they are laid, we are reduced from the character of free subjects to the state of tributary slaves. — Samuel Adams
Covertly invest into non-White areas, invest in ghetto abortion clinics. Help to raise
money for free abortions, in primarily non-White areas. Perhaps abortion
clinic syndicates throughout North America, that primarily operate in
non-White areas and receive tax support, should be promoted. — Margaret Sanger
Every time you cut programs, you take away a person who has a vested interest in high taxes and you put him on the tax rolls and make him a taxpayer. A farmer on subsidies is part welfare bum, whereas a free-market farmer is a small businessman with a gun. — Grover Norquist
Shout out to all my niggas livin tax free. Nowadays it's six figures when they tax me. — Drake
If you want to get rich with a tax free enterprise that sells nothing, start a church. — Bill Maher
The tax that is taken from the free non-Muslim subjects of a Muslim government whereby they ratify the compact that assures them protection, as though it were compensation for not being slain. — Edward William Lane
David and Charles Koch are pretty much as far right as you can get on the ideological spectrum without falling off. They are far right libertarians, very anti-government, very pro-business, very anti-tax, anti-regulatory, in favour of free markets ruling the day. — Jane Mayer
The most laughable White House criticism is that tax cuts are a 'free lunch.' The American people's work created that money. Only in Washington could there be a belief that letting people keep more of what they create is a giveaway. — Steve Forbes
Obamacare comes to more than two thousand pages of rules, mandates, taxes, fees, and fines that have no place in a free country. — Paul Ryan
We owe more money than any Nation in the World, and we are LOWERING TAXES. When is the time to pay off a debt if it is not when you are doing well? You let a Politician return home from Washington and announce, 'Boys we lowered your taxes. We had to borrow the money to do it, but we did it.' Say, they would elect him for life. — Will Rogers
The same government that requires a taxpaying citizen to document every statement on his tax return decrees that questioning a welfare applicant demeans and humiliates him. — Ronald Reagan
President Obama released his tax returns. It turns out he made $900,000 less in 2011 then he did in 2010. You know what that means? Even Obama is doing worse under President Obama. — Jay Leno
For all long-term investors, there is only one objective-maximum total real return after taxes. — John Templeton
Life may unfold chronologically for the body and for bureaucracies that keep track of such things as births, marriages, deaths, visas, tax returns, expulsions, and identity cards, but memory does not play this game in quite the same way, always manages to confound the desire for tidiness. — Ariel Dorfman
When you want to do your homework, fill out your tax return, or see all the choices for a trip you want to take, you need a full-size screen. — Bill Gates
By requiring that any surplus in Social Security taxes be returned to the American people in personal savings accounts, the plan ensures that Social Security taxes will be used for Social Security. — Mike Pence
Your taxes are due a week from today. You can make out your check directly to Halliburton. Or you can do what I'm going to do. I'm filing my first joint return. No, I'm not getting married, I'm sending the IRS an actual joint with a note that says, 'If you think I'm paying for this war, you must be high.' — Bill Maher
My tax return in the United States has to be kept on a special computer because their normal computers can't deal with the numbers. So I am constantly getting these notices telling me I haven't paid something when really it is just on the wrong computer. — Bill Gates
Reports also suggest that Ernst and Young and other large tax preparation firms are sending tax returns overseas for processing. But the IRS has no control over tax information once it's been sent to India or another country. — Melissa Bean
Have we the courage and the will to face up to the immorality and discrimination of the progressive tax, and demand a return to traditional proportionate taxation? ... Today in our country the tax collector's share is 37 cents of every dollar earned. Freedom has never been so fragile, so close to slipping from our grasp. — Ronald Reagan
For a generation and more, the government has sought to meet our needs by multiplying its bureaucracy. Washington has taken too much in taxes from Main Street, and Main Street has received too little in return. It is not necessary to centralize power in order to solve our problems. — George McGovern
If I decide to run for office, I will release my tax returns. Absolutely. I would love to do that. — Donald Trump
Anyone who's ever filed a tax return or visited the Department of Motor Vehicles understands that government does two things well: spend our money and waste our time. — Edwin Feulner
I'll bring my tax returns; you bring yours. I'll meet you anytime anywhere. — Warren Buffett
In the Iowa senate, I helped pass the largest tax cut in state history - returning over four billion dollars in savings and putting more money back in the pockets of hard-working Iowa families. — Joni Ernst
Even when all the paperwork-a marriage license, a notarized deed, two birth certificates, and seven years of tax returns-clearly indicates you're an adult, but all the same, there you are, clutching the phone and thanking God that you're still somebody's daughter. — Kelly Corrigan
I will absolutely give my [tax] return, but I'm being audited now for two or three years, so I can't do it until the audit is finished, obviously. — Donald Trump
I see no magic in tax dollars which are sent to Washington and then returned. I abhor the waste and incompetence of large-scale federal bureaucracies in this administration as well as in others. I do not favor state compulsion when voluntary individual effort can do the job and do it well. — John F. Kennedy
The total dividend income declared in 1995 by the bottom 9.7 million Canadian tax-filers (47% of all those submitting tax returns) was $310 million. The estimated dividend income received by the Thomson family in 1995 from its 72% ownership share of the Thomson Corporation and its 22% ownership share of the Hudson's Bay Company was $310 million. — Jim Stanford
I'll release my tax returns when Barack Obama releases his college transcripts and the copy of his admission records to show whether he got any loans as a foreign student. When he releases that, talk to me about my tax returns. — Mike Huckabee
I am outraged that a House member has tried through this provision to breach the traditional confidentiality of individual Americans' tax returns. There is no reason for this measure, and this last-minute act violates all principles of judgment and common sense. — John Warner
Now there is a new request. To release transcripts of speeches that were given. When everybody agrees to do that, I will as well. It is important we all abide by the same standards. So let's do the tax return standard first, because that has been the standard for a long time. — Hillary Clinton
When you think of policies that are going to address inequality of wealth, you have to be very thoughtful about what economists call "incidence of taxes." If most of the savings is being done by capitalists, and you tax the return on capital, then they will have less to invest. That would mean, over the long run, that the rate of interest would go up. That would therefore undo some of the intent to lower the income of capitalists. — Joseph Stiglitz
Trump's tax returns - his tax returns showed he went through a very difficult time, but he used the tax code just the way it's supposed to be used. And he did it brilliantly. — Mike Pence
Donald Trump is the first president in more than 40 years not to make his tax returns public. The president says only reporters care about the issue. — John Yang
For President Donald Trump, questions about transparency start with his taxes, and why he's breaking with tradition and not releasing his returns. — John Yang
Donald Trump is a businessman, not a career politician. He actually built a business. Those tax returns that were - that came out publicly this week show that he faced some pretty tough times 20 years ago. But like virtually every other business, including the New York Times not too long ago, he used what's called net operating loss. We have a tax code that actually is designed to encourage entrepreneurship in this country. — Mike Pence
I think the reason that the Trump economic agenda is beneficial is, he is doing the right things. He wants to see growth, he wants to see to lower taxes, he wants to see this cash pile sitting outside the US return to the US. All of these things I think will be good for the US economy, and as I've said, if the US economy grows, the global economy benefits hugely. — Martin Gilbert
I believe American corporations that have gotten so much from our country should be just as patriotic in return. Many of them are, but too many aren't. It's wrong to take tax breaks with one hand and give out pink slips with the other. And I believe Wall Street can never, ever be allowed to wreck Main Street again. — Hillary Clinton
The only one that cares about my tax returns are the reporters, OK? They're the only who ask. — Donald Trump
My administration's policies on regulatory reform, tax reform, trade policies, will return significant manufacturing jobs to our country. — Donald Trump
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