The main part of the house is a deep red and I have butterscotch carpet. And I have a bathroom with leopard skin floor, wallpaper and toilet. — Macy Gray
I smoke so much weed that you wouldn't believe and I get more ass then a toilet seat. — Nate Dogg
Montague's just been found in a toilet, Sir. — J. K. Rowling
If you can see the handwriting on the wall... you're on the toilet. — Redd Foxx
It is difficult to produce a television documentary that is both incisive and probing when every twelve minutes one is interrupted by twelve dancing rabbits singing about toilet paper. — Rod Serling
My name is only an anagram of toilets. — T. S. Eliot
I sit face forward on a toilet with both my legs out in front of me like God intended. — Theo Von
I refuse to go into a fast-food outlet - to use the toilet even - in case anyone got the wrong idea and thought I was sneaking in a quick burger. — Jonny Wilkinson
We'll send you a Hogwarts toilet seat! — J. K. Rowling
Greeks only agree with each other about going to the toilet — Greek Proverbs
Short Toilets Quotes
The wide screen reminds me of a roll of toilet paper. — Yasujiro Ozu
Maybe humans are just the pet alligators that God flushed down the toilet. — Chuck Palahniuk
You know an odd feeling? Sitting on the toilet eating a chocolate candy bar. — George Carlin
Problems are like toilet paper. You pull on one and ten more come. — Woody Allen
I propose a limitation be put on how many squares of toilet paper can be used in any one sitting. — Sheryl Crow
It's not hard to tell we was poor - when you saw the toilet paper dryin' on the clothesline. — George Lindsey
I like getting toilet paper thrown at me. — Joel Madden
Castro couldn't even go to the bathroom unless the Soviet Union put the nickel in the toilet. — Richard M. Nixon
If you don't want your dog to have bad breath, do what I do: Pour a little Lavoris in the toilet. — Jay Leno
I think toilets are more important than temples. — Narendra Modi
Everybody want to change the world, but nobody whats to change the toilet paper roll.
Toilet Paper Roll Quotes
I've learned that life is like a roll of toilet paper. The closer it gets to the end, the faster it goes. — Andy Rooney
If you want to avoid heated arguments, never discuss religion, politics, or whether the toilet paper roll should go over or under. — Al Yankovic
A long white ribbon shot out of the crack in the wall. The ribbon just kept coming, weaving itself into some kind of shape next to Anubis, and my first thought was, My god, he’s got a magic roll of toilet paper. — Rick Riordan
You know you're lazy when you run out of toilet paper and use the cardboard roll to wipe with. — Dane Cook
The only thing I use the Rolling Stone for is toilet paper when I run out. — Neal Schon
Good Quotes
A true friend is someone who thinks that you are a good egg even though he knows that you are slightly cracked. — Bernard Meltzer
With or without religion, you would have good people doing good things and evil people doing evil things. But for good people to do evil things, that takes religion. — Steven Weinberg
I've had good times and I've had bad times and I reminisce, maybe when I lay down, but throughout my day I keep myself engulfed in whatever moment I'm in because it could steer me into a depressed state. — Kevin Gates
No matter how successful you become you gotta keep grindin' and be a good person and then good things will come to you. — Meek Mill
Love is friendship that has caught fire. It is quiet understanding, mutual confidence, sharing and forgiving. It is loyalty through good and bad times. It settles for less than perfection and makes allowances for human weaknesses. — Ann Landers
You have enemies? Good. That means you've stood up for something, sometime in your life. — Winston Churchill
That is the difference between good teachers and great teachers: good teachers make the best of a pupil's means; great teachers foresee a pupil's ends. My teacher was Ferruccio Cusinati — Maria Callas
Waste no more time arguing about what a good man should be. Be one. — Marcus Aurelius
Toilet Clean Quotes
I'm cleaning toilets for $30 a day, because I needed that $30, and people are pointing at me, saying, Look at the big movie star. Look where he is now. I just said, I'm where God put me. — Willie Aames
Cleanliness and sanitation were closest to Gandhiji's heart. We will launch a 'Clean India' campaign and by Gandhiji's 150th birth anniversary, all schools in the country should have toilets with separate toilets for girls. — Narendra Modi
Clean water is only as far away as the nearest tap, and there are taps everywhere. There's a faucet everywhere. But the reality is, the water in our toilets is cleaner than the water that most people are drinking. — Matt Damon
I have requested the corporates to evolve plans under corporate social responsibility to build clean toilets specially for girl students in schools. India should learn from foreign countries, where people are disciplined and do not litter in public places. — Narendra Modi
In the period where I had to live the life of a citizen - a life where, like everybody else, I did tons of laundry and cleaned toilet bowls, changed hundreds of diapers and nursed children - I learned a lot. — Patti Smith
I'm horrible to live with. I don't clean. My clothes end up wherever I take them off. I forget to flush the toilet. — Megan Fox
Why do I continue making movies? Making movies is better than cleaning toilets. — Klaus Kinski
I did an internship at the Ardent theatre company in Philly after dropping out of college. I was earning $165 a week building sets and cleaning the toilets. Cleaning toilets is a good way of getting in touch with your creativity. That's when you find out if you got anything going on in your head. — Jill Scott
Make sure your bathroom is clean. If you're having a girl over the house for the first time, make sure your toilet is clean, not disgusting. Guys' bathrooms are always the most disgusting thing. — Carly Aquilino
Toilet Seat Quotes
I like to play pranks on my girlfriend, you know, keep things fresh for me, make me laugh, you know? She hates it. But like, the other night, I put Saran wrap over the toilet seat, you know, which doesn't sound that original, but she's bulimic. — Anthony Jeselnik
Don't, Ginny, we'll send you loads of owls. We'll send you a Hogwarts toilet seat. George! Only joking, Mum. — J. K. Rowling
Bad writing is not easier than good writing. It's just as hard to make a toilet seat as it is a castle window. Only the view is different. — Ben Hecht
I believe your friends Misters Fred and George Weasley were responsible for trying to send you a toilet seat. No doubt they thought it would amuse you. — J. K. Rowling
Online, you're providing each other with the good aspects of being together as far as communication and support, but you don't have to deal with the realities of paying bills together, or being annoyed when they leave the toilet seat up or don't put the food away in the fridge. — Nev Schulman
It's probably not love if you don't press your face to the toilet seat after they've used it to feel their warmth. — Rob Delaney
Men who consistently leave the toilet seat up secretly want women to get up to go the bathroom in the middle of the night and fall in. — Rita Rudner
Growing up, I had a front row seat to seeing two people work really hard. My dad scrubbed toilets at a private Catholic school for a while and that was to help me get through school. — Mia Love
Sensitive. That killed me. That guy Morrow was about as sensitive as a toilet seat. — J. D. Salinger
I have always stated I designed the stadium as a toilet seat. I don't care if this is a great cultural event or a national symbol. It has nothing to do with me. It deals with the city. — Ai Weiwei
Tissue Paper Quotes
It was almost as incredible as if you fired a 15-inch shell at a piece of tissue paper and it came back and hit you. — Ernest Rutherford
The honors Hollywood has for the writer are as dubious as tissue-paper cuff links. — Ben Hecht
I think people should have fun with fashion, should enjoy wearing beautiful clothes--but also not save everything for the best. Fashion is there to be enjoyed, to be indulged--to wow in. Don't save it for Sunday best only. Get it out of the tissue paper and be sensational every day. — John Galliano
When you start putting pen to paper, you see a side of your personal truth that doesn't otherwise reveal itself in conversation or thought. — Anthony Kiedis
Our child will not be raised in tissue paper! We don't even want her to hear the word princess. — Juliana of the Netherlands
I had the brief notion that his heart, pressed flat as a flower, crimson and thin as tissue paper, lay in this file. It was a very thin one. — Angela Carter
The dignity of man was everywhere tissue-paper thin. — Dick Francis
Christmas always rustled. It rustled every time, mysteriously, with silver and gold paper, tissue paper and a rich abundance of shiny paper, decorating and hiding everything and giving a feeling of reckless extravagance. — Tove Jansson
Perhaps they were looking for passion; perhaps they delved into this book as into a mysterious parcel - a gift box at the bottom of which, hidden in layers of rustling tissue paper, lay something they'd always longed for but couldn't ever grasp. — Margaret Atwood
The days of my youth, as I look back on them, seem to fly away from me in a flurry of pale repetitive scraps like those morning snow storms of used tissue paper that a train passenger sees whirling in the wake of the observation car. — Vladimir Nabokov
Eating, bathing, going to the toilet, talking, thinking, and many other activities related to the body are all work. How is it that the performance of one particular act is alone (considered) work? To be still is to be always engaged in work. To be silent is to be always talking. — Ramana Maharshi
Now, you two – this year, you behave yourselves. If I get one more owl telling me you've – you've blown up a toilet or –" "Blown up a toilet? We've never blown up a toilet." "Great idea though, thanks, Mum. — J. K. Rowling
Right now, more folks have access to a cell phone than a toilet. Ancient Romans had better quality than half of the people alive today. I am constantly reminded of the speed at which we must move to reverse some of our grand challenges. — Peter Diamandis
Leaders win through logistics. Vision, sure. Strategy, yes. But when you go to war, you need to have both toilet paper and bullets at the right place at the right time. In other words, you must win through superior logistics. — Tom Peters
Let me speak frankly: separate but equal is a fraud. It is the language that tried to push Rosa Parks to the back of the bus. It is the motif that determined that black and white people could not possibly drink from the same water fountain, eat at the same table or use the same toilets. — David Lammy
It's expensive to keep communism alive today. I've already got a huge foreign debt staring me in the face, and I can't reduce it by exporting tomatoes or toilet paper. We should be making dollars any way we can. And we should be exporting arms any way and every way, openly and secretly, legally or by smuggling, I don't care how. — Nicolae Ceausescu
No innovation in the past 200 years has done more to save lives and improve health than the sanitation revolution triggered by invention of the toilet. But it did not go far enough. It only reached one-third of the world. — Sylvia Mathews Burwell
Schools across India do not have teachers, libraries, playing grounds and even toilets. I do not want to see empty classrooms, empty libraries. I do not want to see cattle grazing on fields meant to be cricket or football grounds. — Sachin Tendulkar
What if I told you insane was working fifty hours a week in some office for fifty years at the end of which they tell you to p*ss off; ending up in some retirement village hoping to die before suffering the indignity of trying to make it to the toilet on time? Wouldn't you consider that to be insane? — Steve Buscemi
Tell me why it is that a toddler will gag over a perfectly wonderful breakfast of ham, eggs, biscuits, juice, and jelly. But then he will enthusiastically drink the dog's water and play in the toilet. Truly, he is his mother's greatest challenge...; and her most inexpressible joy. — James Dobson
And it makes you wonder—how can a people incapable of selecting their own lightbulbs and toilets possess enough competence to vote for their own rulers and fill out complicated tax returns? — Mark Levin
Right now I'm scoring goals and I'm the king of the world. And a couple weeks ago I was almost in the toilet. So maybe you just forget to flush me. — Alexander Ovechkin
Dead girl walking” the boys say in the halls. “Tell us your secrets” the girls whisper, one toilet to another. "I am that girl. I am the spaces between my thighs, daylight shinning through. I am the bones they want, wired on a porcelain frame. — Laurie Halse Anderson
You should never eat when you're on the toilet. "But I'm lactose-intolerant, and I always wanted to enjoy a bowl of Puffins with whole milk!" That's more of an almond milk cereal, but live
your dream. — Daniel Tosh
Why are there no windows in the toilets on aeroplanes? To protect you from the most dedicated perverts on the planet, hanging off the wing to get a peep? — Sayings
One of the most awkward things that can happen in a pub is when your pint-to-toilet cycle gets synchronised with a complete stranger. — Peter Kay
One of the most jolting days of adulthood comes the first time you run out of toilet paper. Toilet paper, up until this point, always just existed. And now it's a finite resource, constantly in danger of extinction, that must be carefully tracked and monitored, like pandas? — Kelly Williams Brown
In Marseilles they make half the toilet soap we consume in America, but the Marseillaise only have a vague theoretical idea of its use, which they have obtained from books of travel. — Mark Twain
Australia is an outdoor country. People only go inside to use the toilet. And that's only a recent development. — Barry Humphries
What was wrong with train toilet doors that just locked, instead of this multiple choice system? If anything goes wrong, you'll be sitting there while the whole toilet wall slowly slides away, unveiling you like a prize on a quiz show. For 500 points, a shitting woman! — Frankie Boyle
People forget what a big issue toilet training is for adults and kids, and it is not fun, especially when you're in a car on the interstate. — Robert Munsch
I sat on a toilet watching the water run thinking what an odd thing tourism is. You fly off to a strange land, eagerly abandoning all the comforts of home and then expend vast quantities of time and money in a largely futile effort to recapture the comforts you wouldn’t have lost if you hadn’t left home in the first place. — Bill Bryson
In Conclusion
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Citation
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