If you find it hard to laugh at yourself, I would be happy to do it for you.— Groucho Marx
Sensational Being Sarcastic quotations
To be sure of hitting the target, shoot first, and call whatever you hit the target
It's better to be a dictator than gay.
A sarcastic person has a superiority complex that can be cured only by the honesty of humility.
Oh, look at me! I'm making people happy! I'm the Magical Man from Happy-Land, in a gumdrop house on Lollipop Lane! Oh, by the way, I was being sarcastic.
This is one race of people for whom psychoanalysis is of no use whatsoever.
The best things in life are free
Is that a gun in your pocket, or are you just happy to see me?
I grew up as a very sarcastic person.
I was always the class clown, and to date girls I had to be really funny. I was really skinny growing up.
So, have a little fun. Soon enough you'll be dead and burning in Hell with the rest of your family.
For some are in the habit of carrying about the name in wicked guile, while they still practice things unworthy of God. You must flee these as you would wild beasts. For they are ravening dogs, who bite secretly, against whom you must be on your guard, since they are men who can scarcely be cured.
Depression is merely anger without enthusiasm.
Every single word you have spoken is sharp, sarcastic and twisted.
When I thought you were abnormal you suddenly turned out to be normal. When I thought you were normal you turned out to be abnormal.
McDonald's being the official restaurant of the Olympics is like smoking being the official medicine of cancer.
Sarcastic people tend to be marshmallows underneath the armor
Sometimes I need what only you can provide: your absence.
Why are we honoring this man? Have we run out of human beings?
When you're being earnest, people think you're being sarcastic and when you're being sarcastic, they think you're being earnest. The moral in all this, of course, is that people should never attempt to communicate.
If I had known what it would be like to have it all - I might have been willing to settle for less.
Everyone has a purpose in life. Perhaps yours is watching television.
Your services might be as useful as a barbershop on the steps of a guillotine.
A modest little person, with much to be modest about.
Be nice to nerds. Chances are you'll end up working for one.
I'm single because I was born that way.
Don't take life too seriously.
My natural-born sarcasm, when it's unimpeded, can be a bit overbearing at times and I'm the first to admit that.
Are you always this stupid or are you making a special effort today?
The male chromosome is an incomplete female chromosome.
In other words the male is a walking abortion; aborted at the gene stage. To be male is to be deficient, emotionally limited; maleness is a deficiency disease and males are emotional cripples.
Conservatives want live babies so they can train them to be dead soldiers.
Avoid using cigarettes, alcohol, and drugs as alternatives to being an interesting person.
I'm sarcastic, skeptical, and sometimes callous because I'm still afraid, deep down, of letting myself be hurt.
Stay with me; I want to be alone
I would like to live in Manchester, England.
The transition between Manchester and death would be unnoticeable.
My films often have a very strong strain of irony, or even sarcasm, which is definitely related to homosexual camp. But it is by no means straightforward: quite often I am sincere when I appear to be sarcastic, and I am sarcastic when I appear to be sincere. I also try to contradict myself at least once a day, which is a camp must.
Gaia spins on, silently contemplating what it means to be born into a sarcastic universe.