Sarcasm is the lowest form of humor but the highest form of flattery. — Benjamin Franklin
I grew up as a very sarcastic person. I was always the class clown, and to date girls I had to be really funny. I was really skinny growing up. — Kurt Fuller
There is a great need for a sarcasm font. — Darynda Jones
A skeptic is a person who, when he sees the handwriting on the wall, claims it is a forgery. — Morris Bender
My dad is a very quick-witted, sarcastic, dry, humorous guy, whereas my mom's very silly, and that side of the family is very musical. — Tim Heidecker
The funniest people are the saddest once — Confucius
The hypocrite takes good advice as an insult. — Nouman Ali Khan
Cynic: an idealist whose rose-colored glasses have been removed, snapped in two and stomped into the ground, immediately improving his vision — Rick Bayan
HUMORIST, n. A plague that would have softened down the hoar austerity of Pharaoh's heart and persuaded him to dismiss Israel with his best wishes, cat-quick. — Ambrose Bierce
An insolent reply from a polite person is a bad sign. — Hippocrates
There has to be irony, both in design and in the objects. I see around me a professional disease of taking everything too seriously. One of my secrets is to joke all the time — Achille Castiglioni
Short Sarcastic Person Quotes
A sceptic finds Dallas absurd. A cynic thinks the public doesn't — Clive James
A person who knows how to laugh at himself will never ceased to be amused. — Shirley Maclaine
Cynicism is easy. Mimicry is easy. Optimistic contrarians are the rarest breed. — Naval Ravikant
Neither irony or sarcasm is argument. — Samuel Butler
Anybody who claims to be excited for April Fools' Day is probably a sociopath. — John Oliver
A pessimist is a person who has had to listen to too many optimists. — Don Marquis
What is a cynic? A man who knows the price of everything and the value of nothing. — Oscar Wilde
All cruel people describe themselves as paragons of frankness. — Tennessee Williams
A man of such obvious and exemplary charm must be a liar. — Anita Brookner
Someone who makes you laugh is a comedian. Someone who makes you think and then laugh is a humorist. — George Burns
Holding onto anger is like drinking poison and expecting the other person to die.
Sarcastic Quotes
If you find it hard to laugh at yourself, I would be happy to do it for you. — Groucho Marx
I would challenge you to a battle of wits, but I see you are unarmed! — William Shakespeare
I thought about how mothers feed their babies with tiny little spoons and forks so I wondered, what do Chinese mothers use? Toothpicks? — George Carlin
In America, anyone can become president. That's the problem. — George Carlin
What a fine weather today! Can’t choose whether to drink tea or to hang myself. — Anton Chekhov
Never put off till tomorrow what you can do day after tomorrow just as well. — Mark Twain
To love a person is to see all of their magic, and to remind them of it when they have forgotten.
If the black box flight recorder is never damaged during a plane crash, why isn’t the whole airplane made out of that stuff? — George Carlin
Have you noticed that all the people in favor of birth control are already born? — Benny Hill
To be sure of hitting the target, shoot first, and call whatever you hit the target — Ashleigh Brilliant
Very Sarcastic Quotes
What are we doing here? Has something gone wrong?” “Oh no, Ron,” came Fred’s voice, very sarcastically. “No, this is exactly where we wanted to end up. — J. K. Rowling
I do this real moron thing, and it's called thinking. And apparently I'm not a very good American because I like to form my own opinions. — George Carlin
Are you always this stupid or are you making a special effort today? — Russell Lynes
Intelligent people tend to have less friends than the average person. The smarter you are, the more selevtive you become.
Most of the world's work is done by people who don't feel very well. — Winston Churchill
He's very clever, but sometimes his brains go to his head. — Margot Asquith
You know, when most girls say they want a big rock, they don't mean, you know, literally a big rock." "Very amusing, my sarcastic friend. It's not a rock, precisely. All Shadowhunters have a witchlight rune-stone. — Cassandra Clare
Don't confuse my personality with my attitude... My personality is who I am, my attitude depends on who you are...
Liberals are very broadminded: they are always willing to give careful consideration to both sides of the same side — Thomas Sowell
Don't let you mind wander - it's far too small to be let out on its own. — Russell Lynes
I can be a very sarcastic person, and sometimes people take every word I say literally. — Sasha Grey
What you said hurt me very much. I cried all the way to the bank. — Liberace
Oh, look at me! I'm making people happy! I'm the Magical Man from Happy-Land, in a gumdrop house on Lollipop Lane! Oh, by the way, I was being sarcastic. — Homer
This is one race of people for whom psychoanalysis is of no use whatsoever. — Sigmund Freud
Life has a way of testing a person's will, either by having nothing happen at all or by having everything happen at once.
Is that a gun in your pocket, or are you just happy to see me? — Mae West
So, have a little fun. Soon enough you'll be dead and burning in Hell with the rest of your family. — George Carlin
A strong person loves, forgives, walks away, lets go, tries again, perseveres... No matter what life throws at them.
For some are in the habit of carrying about the name in wicked guile, while they still practice things unworthy of God. You must flee these as you would wild beasts. For they are ravening dogs, who bite secretly, against whom you must be on your guard, since they are men who can scarcely be cured. — Ignatius of Antioch
Depression is merely anger without enthusiasm. — Steven Wright
Every single word you have spoken is sharp, sarcastic and twisted. When I thought you were abnormal you suddenly turned out to be normal. When I thought you were normal you turned out to be abnormal. — Jae Hee
McDonald's being the official restaurant of the Olympics is like smoking being the official medicine of cancer. — Robert Downey, Jr.
Sarcastic Humor Quotes
I often warn people: "Somewhere along the way, someone is going to tell you, 'There is no "I" in team.' What you should tell them is, 'Maybe not. But there is an "I" in independence, individuality and integrity. — George Carlin
Isn’t making a smoking section in a restaurant like making a peeing section in a swimming pool? — George Carlin
Religion is like a pair of shoes.....Find one that fits for you, but don't make me wear your shoes. — George Carlin
A person who feels appreciated will always do more than is expected.
Political correctness is tyranny with manners. — Charlton Heston
There are no nudists in cold areas. — Tsugumi Ohba
Everyone smiles in the same language. — George Carlin
Never push a loyal person to the point where they no longer give a damn.
People always tell me "Have a nice day." Well what if I don't want to? What if I want to have a crappy day? — George Carlin
I could dance with you until the cows come home. On second thought I'd rather dance with the cows until you come home. — Groucho Marx
Sometimes I need what only you can provide: your absence. — Ashleigh Brilliant
Not enough gets said about the importance of abandoning crap. — Ira Glass
Sarcastic Love Quotes
If you love someone set them free. If they come back, set them on fire. — George Carlin
This is what happened in love. One of you cried a lot and then both of you grew sarcastic. — Lorrie Moore
Love is like a booger, you pick and pick at it. Then when you get it you wonder how to get rid of it. — Mae West
Aging is an extraordinary process where you become the person you always should have been.
If you love someone, set them free. If they come back, he's probably LK Advani — Narendra Modi
I don't suffer from my insanity -- I enjoy every minute of it. — Sherrilyn Kenyon
America knows nothing of food, love, or art. — Isadora Duncan
Be the one who makes everyone feel like someone!
We fall in love when our imagination projects nonexistent perfection upon another person. One day, the fantasy evaporates and with it, love dies. — Jose Ortega y Gasset
If you ever become a mother, can I have one of the puppies? — Charlie Pierce
Marriage is meant to be more about your surrender than about your satisfaction. — Scott Means
Sarcasm Quotes
I can fluently speak five languages: English, emoji, sexting, sarcasm and sass. — Tyler Oakley
All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy - and Jill a wealthy widow. — Evan Esar
For every single dark night there is a brighter day. — Tupac Shakur
I want either less corruption, or more chance to participate in it. — Ashleigh Brilliant
Random acts of kindness is the worst thing like f**k off honestly. — PewDiePie
Confidence is what you have before you understand the problem. — Woody Allen
What you feel about another person, what you think or say about another eprson, what you do to another person - you do to you. Give judgement and criticism and you give it to yourself. Give love and appreciation to another person or anything, and you give it to yourself.
Detection is, or ought to be, an exact science, and should be treated in the same cold and unemotional manner. You have attempted to tinge it with romanticism, which produces much the same effect as if you worked a love-story or an elopement into the fifth proposition of Euclid. — Arthur Conan Doyle
Of course there's a lot of knowledge in universities: the freshmen bring a little in; the seniors don't take much away, so knowledge sort of accumulates. — Abbott Lawrence Lowell
How can you have any pudding if you don't eat your meat? — Roger Waters
Everyone who ever walked barefoot into his child's room late at night hates Legos. — Tony Kornheiser
Sarcastic One Liners Quotes
Knowledge is realizing that the street is one way; wisdom is looking in both directions anyway. — Albert Einstein
I did not climb to the top of the food chain to eat carrots. — Ron White
A modest little person, with much to be modest about. — Winston Churchill
If someone with multiple personalities threatens to kill himself, is it considered a hostage situation? — George Carlin
He has the attention span of a lightning bolt. — Robert Redford
I have seen slower people than I am and more deliberate... and even quieter, and more listless, and lazier people than I am. But they were dead. — Mark Twain
Avoid using cigarettes, alcohol, and drugs as alternatives to being an interesting person. — Marilyn vos Savant
He never bore a grudge against anyone he wronged. — Simone Signoret
That I walk around calling people 'dummy' and 'hockey puck'. I do have a different life apart from being sarcastic on stage. I might kibitz around with my friends, but I'm nothing like the person who does stand up. Nothing like that. — Don Rickles
I saw what a mess a lot of people could make of their lives when they're smitten. Some of them go temporarily insane. They find a person who they think holds the key to their happiness-the only key to their happiness... My work has always been my greatest happiness — Mae West
My father was a very unhappy person, very sarcastic, and my mother was very nervous and worried about what people thought. They weren't monsters, but it wasn't a good childhood. — Paula Danziger
There are different kinds of humor, some is sarcastic, some introspective. Introspective fit my personality better. — Rita Rudner
...Never tell a ticket agent, "As a matter of fact, I DID accept items from persons unknown to me! A nice man in a chadar gave me this awesome luggage freshener with a clock attached!" Federal regulations require them to have no idea you're joking as they riddle your body with bullets. — Seanbaby
I'm a sarcastic person, and people don't get my humor sometimes — Sarah Hyland
At a turbulent public meeting once I lost my temper and said some harsh and sarcastic things. The proposal I was supporting was promptly defeated. My father who was there, said nothing, but that night, on my pillow I found a marked passage from Aristotle: Anybody can become angry--that is easy, but to be angry with the right person and to the right degree and at the right time and for the right purpose, and in the right way -- that is not within everybody's power and is not easy. — Arthur Gordon
Barack Obama is pretty similar to the person you see in public, at press conferences. He's a little saltier, a little more sarcastic and cutting. — Jonathan Chait
My brother and I both like sarcastic, insulting comedy, so that's a way we communicate. Somehow that's what we learned. My mom is not a really sarcastic person. She's a really sort of overly loving person, and my brother and I came out little cynical bastards. — Moshe Kasher
Alexander Graham Bell was the first person to ever sarcastically say hello. Hellooo, I invented the telephone! — Andy Kindler
Everything I write is personal, really. Even when I'm sarcastic, it's quite personal. And on this record, from the production to the singing to the performances, I got it really honest. To the modern ear, it seems soft. When you hear it against other things, it seems vulnerable. Lyrically and musically, though, this is more subtle. And, yes, it's asking a lot of someone who's used to being hit over the head with bright neon to listen to this. — Ben Folds
He not only overflowed with learning, but stood in the slop. — Sydney Smith
Throughout history in the theater and film people do like sarcastic characters, and they do like curmudgeons - if they're amusing, they do like them despite the fact that they're vitriolic, particularly if they're for the right thing. If you can see that the person is a decent person and is for the right thing, and is not just a nasty person with base motives, but someone who is a decent human but expresses himself. — Woody Allen
I'm a sarcastic person. I learn through humor. — Rachel Maddow
I don't want to get too much into my personal relationships but I will say I am actually doing the single thing right now. I want someone that I can have fun with and laugh with. I love to laugh and I'm really sarcastic, so it's important that she can take a joke. I think if you are going to be with someone for a while you really need someone you can let loose with and let go of all the stress of the day. — Matt Lanter
A person who can laugh and go with life does not demand to be in control, which is why the most controlling people may be sarcastic but lack an authentic sense of humor. — Richard Rohr
In her single person she managed to produce the effect of a majority. — Ellen Glasgow
I could never learn to like her, except on a raft at sea with no other provisions in sight. — Mark Twain
Size does matter. There's a lot of ways to make people feel good, but personally I think it does enhance things. — Pamela Anderson
It is true, I worry about the hype. The only person more over-hyped than me is you. — Barack Obama
Nonetheless, I can't help but be flattered that you noticed the latest addition to my collection," he said. She rolled her eyes. "Because personal injuries are such a dignified thing to collect." "Are all governesses so sarcastic? — Julia Quinn
It was unnerving, the way she could go from cool efficiency to sarcastic to sweet within the space of thirty seconds. I found it very manipulative and controlling. It put the other person constantly on-guard. And it was extremely intimidating because you never knew when she was going to snap. I made a mental note to refine these skills within myself. — Augusten Burroughs
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