Having children is like living in a frat house - nobody sleeps, everything's broken, and there's a lot of throwing up. — Ray Romano
Having a kid is like falling in love for the first time when you're 12, but every day. — Mike Myers
To me, having kids is the ultimate job in life. I want to be most successful at being a good father. — Nick Lachey
Everyone should have kids. They are the greatest joy in the world. But they are also terrorists. You'll realize this as soon as they are born and they start using sleep deprivation to break you. — Ray Romano
Having one child makes you a parent; having two you are a referee. — David Frost
One of the most obvious results of having a baby around the house is to turn two good people into complete idiots who probably wouldn't have been much worse than mere imbeciles without it. — Georges Courteline
If you have a great passion it seems that the logical thing is to see the fruit of it, and the fruit are children. — Roman Polanski
Never have more children than you have car windows. — Erma Bombeck
Having children made us look differently at all these things that we take for granted, like taking your child to get a vaccine against measles or polio. — Melinda Gates
When there are kids involved, there's no such thing as divorce. — Carl Whitaker
Kids are a great excuse for you to stop acting like one. — Michael Madsen
Being a kid's not easy. You're transforming and becoming a human being. At some point, you have everyone taking care of you, and then, all of a sudden, you're out in the world. — Jocko Willink
Familiarity breeds contempt - and children. — Mark Twain
Having a child is surely the most beautifully irrational act that two people in love can commit. — Bill Cosby
I’ve longed for kids since I was very, very young. And so ... I’m waiting to find the right person, someone who’s willing to take on the job. — Prince Harry
Short Having Kids Quotes
It goes without saying that you should never have more children than you have car windows. — Erma Bombeck
Being pregnant is an occupational hazard of being a wife. — Queen Victoria
I have four grown children and two tiny grandchildren. — Brock Yates
Children are the anchors of a mother's life. — Sophocles
Grandchildren are God's reward for not killing your kids. — Tony Campolo
If raising children was less rewarding than not doing it, the human race would have gone extinct. — Naval Ravikant
We've had bad luck with our kids -- they've all grown up. — Christopher Morley
The very idea of having children brings out this deep revulsion in me. — Valeria Lukyanova
Simply having children does not make mothers. — John G. Shedd
Until you become a parent, you can't begin to discover your capacity for strength, love and fatigue. — Peter Gallagher
Top 10 Having Kids Quotes
A kid once said to me "Do you get hangovers?" I said, "To get hangovers you have to stop drinking. — Lemmy Kilmister
We are lending money we don't have to kids who can't pay it back to train them for jobs that no longer exist. That's nuts. — Mike Rowe
I have a lot of stories about being a kid because it was the last time I was interesting. — John Mulaney
I always tell kids, you have two eyes and one mouth. Keep two open and one closed. You never learn anything if you're the one talking. — Gordie Howe
You have the exact qualities God knew your kids would need in a mother. Each day, hold up your willingness and ask God to make you the best version of you that you can possibly be. — Lysa TerKeurst
Nobody cares that you're smart and nobody cares that your kids don't have bruises. — Jim Jefferies
Have you ever thought about registering as a sex offender just so your friends won't bring their kids over to your house? — Doug Stanhope
When kids hit one year old, it's like hanging out with a miniature drunk. You have to hold onto them. They bump into things. They laugh and cry. They urinate. They vomit. — Johnny Depp
People ask how can a Jewish kid from the Bronx do preppy clothes? Does it have to do with class and money? It has to do with dreams. — Ralph Lauren
Every kid around the world who plays soccer wants to be Pele. I have a great responsibility to show them not just how to be like a soccer player, but how to be like a man. — Pele
Having Kids Image Quotes
I think it's necessary to let kids get bored once in a while - that's how they learn to be creative.
Having A Baby Quotes
Grandparenthood is a unique moment in anyone's life, as countless kind people have told me in recent months, so I am enormously proud and happy to be a grandfather for the first time and we are eagerly looking forward to seeing the baby in the near future. — Prince Charles
I have also made this a point in our company: We need to stop taking baby steps and start thinking globally. It really seems to be helping. — Ratan Tata
My sister just had a baby, a little newborn. The kid is adorable, so cute. She wouldn't let me hold him, she refuses. She says, 'No way, Anthony, I'm afraid you're gonna drop him.' I'm 32 years old. Like I'm some kind of idiot. Like I don't have a million other ways to hurt that baby. — Anthony Jeselnik
Kids go where there is excitement. They stay where there is love.
Sometimes,' said Pooh, 'the smallest things take up the most room in your heart. — A. A. Milne
No one asks how to motivate a baby. A baby naturally explores everything it can get at, unless restraining forces have already been at work. And this tendency doesn't die out, it's wiped out. — B. F. Skinner
Only when human sorrows are turned into a toy with glaring colors will baby people become interested - for a while at least. The people are a very fickle baby that must have new toys every day. — Emma Goldman
Babies are always more trouble than you thought and more wonderful. — Charles Osgood
They wrapped her up like a baby burrito to show to Mom. Here were a mother and her daughter and I love them both so much. I couldn't wait for Courtney to come to the hospital so I could have all my women together. — Al Roker
You couldn't pay me enough to be a law enforcement officer. Their job is a tough job. You have to solve people's problems, you have to baby-sit people, you have to always be doing this cat-and-mouse game with the bad guys. My respect for them is immense. — Christopher Meloni
Female genital mutilation targets little girls, baby girls - fragile angels who are helpless, who cannot fight back. It's a crime against a child, a crime against humanity. It's abuse. It's absolutely criminal and we have to stop it. — Waris Dirie
Raising Kids Quotes
In the end, it's not what you do for your children but what you've taught them to do for themselves. — Ann Landers
The country is making a big mistake not teaching kids to cook and raise a garden and build fires. — Loretta Lynn
Your children will become what you are; so be what you want them to be — David Bly
A child needs your love most when they deserve it least.
No kid in the world, no woman in the world should ever raise a hand against a no-good daddy. That's already been taken care of: A Man Who Destroys His Own Home Shall Inherit the Wind. — Dick Gregory
Don't let yourself become so concerned with raising a good kid that you forget you already have one. — Glennon Melton
When you put faith, hope and love together, you can raise positive kids in a negative world. — Zig Ziglar
The kids who need the most love will ask for it in the most unloving ways.
We need to raise our artificially intelligent infants in a way that is different from our usual western approach. Rather than just teaching them skills, intelligence, and how to achieve targets, can we also raise them to be loving, caring kids? — Mo Gawdat
84% of working women say staying home to raise kids is a financial luxury they aspire to. — Chris Williamson
I lived in Beverly Hills for years. I always had a line, “I hate the rich.” From what I witnessed after living there for 15 years, these people just don’t raise their kids. I used to see the lineup of cars in front of the schools and it was all the nannies. — Andrew Dice Clay
I am so lucky to have really good parents. They didn't hesitate to let us go to L.A. They didn't hesitate, because they knew that they raised their kids the right way: to be able to live by themselves and not get caught up by L.A. — Jake Paul
Child-bearing Quotes
I do not like eating meat because I have seen lambs and pigs killed. I saw and felt their pain. They felt the approaching death. I could not bear it. I cried like a child. I ran up a hill and could not breathe. I felt that I was choking. I felt the death of the lamb. — Vaslav Nijinsky
The greatest gift a parent can give a child is unconditional love. As a child wanders and strays, finding his bearings, he needs a sense of absolute love from a parent. There's nothing wrong with tough love, as long as the love is unconditional. — George W. Bush
No man can have anything better after faith than a woman of righteous character, loving and child-bearing. And no man can have anything worse after unbelief than a sharp-tongued woman of bad character. — Umar
Grown-ups are just kids with wrinkles.
When the sun rises in the west and sets in the east," she said sadly. "When the seas go dry and mountains blow in the wind like leaves. When my womb quickens again, and I bear a living child. Then you will return, my sun-and-stars, and not before." -Daenerys Targaryen — George R. R. Martin
I’ve often thought it unfair that women are expected to stay at home when there’s a fight to be won. If a woman has the strength to bear a child, she can swing a sword as well as any man. — Karen Hawkins
Maternal love, like an orange tree, buds and blossoms and bears at once. When a woman puts her finger for the first time into the tiny hand of her baby and feels that helpless clutch which tightens her very heartstrings, she is born again with her newborn child. — Kate Douglas Wiggin
My father gave me the greatest gift anyone could give to another person, he believed in me.
Bear up, my child, bear up; Zeus who oversees and directs all things is still mighty in heaven. — Sophocles
I feel a strong immortal hope, which bears my mournful spirit up beneath its mountain load; redeemed from death, and grief, and pain, I soon shall find my [child] again within the arms of God. — Charles Wesley
In the embers shining bright
A garden grows for thy delight,
With roses yellow, red, and white.
But, O my child, beware, beware!
Touch not the roses growing there,
For every rose a thorn doth bear. — Richard Watson Gilder
Every woman knows that if she were free, she would never bear an unwished-for child nor think of murdering one before its birth. — Victoria Woodhull
Having A Daughter Quotes
I live right in front of my daughter. I have a little house right in front of her because I can stay in touch. It's like a little commune, and it's very nice, because you can be close. I can see my granddaughter. I live very close to my brother, too, and my son. We're a very close family. — Debbie Reynolds
It is better for a girl to marry in such a time when she would begin menstruation at her husband's house rather than her father's home. Any father marrying his daughter so young will have a permanent place in heaven. — Ruhollah Khomeini
No man who respects his mother or loves his sister, can speak disparagingly of any woman; however low she may seem to have sunk, she is still a woman. I want every man to remember this. Every woman is, or, at some time, has been a sister or daughter. — Victoria Woodhull
Who say we have to grow up?
My daughter is a freshman in college and my son is - well, our daughter and our son - is a sophomore in college. So they come home on selected weekends, they come home on vacations and they're home in the summer, although they have jobs. — Erika Slezak
Well, my dear," said Mr. Bennet, when Elizabeth had read the note aloud, "if your daughter should have a dangerous fit of illness—if she should die, it would be a comfort to know that it was all in pursuit of Mr. Bingley, and under your orders. — Jane Austen
Never let your kids walk away without a hug and a kiss.
I have a daughter and I have granddaughters and I will never vote to let a group of backward-looking ideologues cut women's access to birth control. We have lived in that world, and we are not going back, not ever — Elizabeth Warren
You have a dark heart in you, Valentine's daughter. — Cassandra Clare
I was given such a great gift. It's a miracle that never stops amazing me and reminding me to give thanks, every day. Having a wife and daughter gives me a lot more purpose. I was much more selfish before, but now I think about what kind of role model I'll be. I just want to be a better man. — Jake Owen
I think, you know, it was something that I really wanted. I wanted so much to have a son or daughter. We adopted a son. And it was just the most wonderful thing. I think the only thing that was difficult for both Maury and myself were the sleepless nights. — Connie Chung
Raising Children Quotes
With all my devotion to the Union, and the feeling of loyalty and duty of an American citizen, I have not been able to make up my mind to raise my hand against my relative, my children, my home. I have, therefore, resigned my commission in the Army. — Robert E. Lee
We are not taught to be thinkers, but reflectors of our culture. Let's teach our children to be thinkers. — Jacque Fresco
We cannot protect our children from life. Therefore, it is essential that we prepare them for it. — Rudolf Dreikurs
If you don't pass your values on to your kids, someone else will.
Do not raise your children the way your parents raised you; they were born for a different time. — Ali ibn Abi Talib
If you bungle raising your children, I don't think whatever else you do matters very much. — Jackie Kennedy
If you bungle raising your children, I don't think whatever else you do well matters very much. — Jacqueline KennedyOnassis
To be in your children's memories tomorrow, you have to be in their lives today.
Raising children is an incredibly hard and risky business in which no cumulative wisdom is gained: each generation repeats the mistakes the previous one made. — Bill Cosby
Having A Son Quotes
I am involved in the land of a leonine and brave people, where every foot of the ground is like a well of steel, confronting my soldier. You have brought only one son into the world, but everyone in this land can be called an Alexander. — Alexander The Great
Have you ever sent a loved son on vacation, and had him returned to you in a pine box, so horribly battered and water-logged that someone needs to tell you this sickening sight is your son, lynched? — Mamie Till
The sons of Adam are limbs of each other, Having been created of one essence. When the calamity of time affects one limb, the other limbs cannot remain at rest. If you have no sympathy for the troubles of others, You are unworthy to be called by the name of a human. — Saadi Shirazi
Parents need to fill a child's bucket of self-esteem so high that the rest of the world can't poke enough holes to drain it dry.
It's a horrible idea that God, this paragon of wisdom and knowledge, power, couldn't think of a better way to forgive us our sins than to come down to Earth in his alter ego as his son and have himself hideously tortured and executed so that he could forgive himself. — Richard Dawkins
Racism isn't born, folks, it's taught. I have a two-year-old son. You know what he hates? Naps! End of list. — Denis Leary
O my son! The dunya (world) is a deep ocean in which many have drowned! Let your ship be taqwallah (fear of Allah), and load your ship with Iman-billah (believe in Allah), and let her sail be tawakkal (trust) on Allah! Insha'Allah you will survive then. — Luqman
I have a dream that one day on the red hills of Georgia, the sons of former slaves and the sons of former slave owners will be able to sit together at the table of brotherhood. — Martin Luther King, Jr.
I have a son, Mason, who is disabled - cerebral palsy - and he does not walk independently, sit independently or speak. He uses a talking computer. I started becoming an advocate for him when he was 3 years old. — Laura San Giacomo
If they had a social gospel in the days of the prodigal son, somebody would have given him a bed and a sandwich and he never would have gone home. — Vance Havner
When the father has eaten too much salt in his lifetime, then his son thereafter will have a great thirst. — Vietnamese Proverbs
Becoming A Parent Quotes
When my kids become wild and unruly, I use a nice, safe playpen. When they're finished, I climb out. — Erma Bombeck
Remember when you used to watch TV in the Sixties and you'd see Perry Como in a cashmere sweater? That's what rock 'n' roll is becoming. It's your parents' music. — Neil Young
To maintain a joyful family requires much from both the parents and the children. Each member of the family has to become, in a special way, the servant of the others. — Pope John Paul II
I believe that we parents must encourage our children to become educated, so they can get into a good college that we cannot afford. — Dave Barry
My concentration was really on getting to university and becoming a doctor. My parents let me know that school marks were important. Achievement was something which came by hard work. — Roger Bannister
Remember, the goal is not to raise great kids; it's to raise kids who become great adults. — Andy Andrews
The guys who fear becoming fathers don't understand that fathering is not something perfect men do, but something that perfects the man. The end product of child-raising is not the child but the parent. — Frank Pittman
What we are teaches the child far more than what we say, so we must be what we want our children to become. — Joseph Chilton Pearce
When you say you're a padre, people ask when did you become a parent. When you say you're a cardinal, they tell you to work hard because the next step is pope. But when you say you're a Dodger, everybody knows you're in the Major Leagues. — Tommy Lasorda
What do we teach our children? . . . We should say to each of them: Do you know what you are? You are a marvel. You are unique . . . You may become a Shakespeare, a Michelangelo, a Beethoven. You have the capacity for anything. — Pablo Casals
You know why men make more money than women? Because, in the unlikely event that we're both on the Titanic and it starts to sink, for some reason, you get to leave with the kids and I have
to stay - that's why I get the dollar more an hour. — Bill Burr
In order to develop normally, a child requires progressively more complex joint activity with one or more adults who have an irrational emotional relationship with the child. Somebody's got to be crazy about that kid. That's number one. First, last and always. — Urie Bronfenbrenner
The problem in society is not kids not knowing science. The problem is adults not knowing science. They outnumber kids 5 to 1, they wield power, they write legislation. When you have scientifically illiterate adults, you have undermined the very fabric of what makes a nation wealthy and strong. — Neil deGrasse Tyson
I am going to do my best to try to create a country in which children are not living in poverty, in which kids can go to college, in which old people have health care. Will I succeed? I can't guarantee you that, but I can tell you that from a human point of view it is better to show up than to give up. — Bernie Sanders
You have brains in your head. You have feet in your shoes. You can steer yourself in any direction you choose. You're on your own, and you know what you know. And you are the guy who'll decide where to go. — Dr. Seuss
I like people who are still actively creating in their life, who aren't set, I don't feel like I'm set. And I don't have any baggage, for better or worse. I don't have any plants or pets or kids. I can lock the door and go. I need to be with somebody for whom that's okay. — Dana Delany
I made a gym, it's the best gym in Nicaragua, I have kids that this year July 6th through the 11th will be fighting and then will go on to the Central American Games and I'm sure at least one will win a gold medal. — Alexis Arguello
She and my uncle were very sociable and would have a lot of people over at night to play cards or whatever. The high spot of those evenings was when we kids got dressed up to do a skit or something to amuse the guests. I loved it. — Louise Fletcher
Parents have a right to know about their kids: that shouldn’t be controversial. —
I want to run for the Senate from Tennessee. Not now, but when I'm 50, when music dies down a little bit. I know lots of artists and actors have those delusions of grandeur, but ever since I was a kid, it's been of interest to me. — Tim McGraw
Jesus was a white man, too. Its like we have, hes a historical figure thats a verifiable fact, as is Santa, I just want kids to know that. How do you revise it in the middle of the legacy in the story and change Santa from white to black? — Megyn Kelly
I want to say it to so many people, 'why you have to be so serious?' And I also want people to think 'this kid has really gone crazy' when they see my performance on the stage. Luckily, I am able to achieve all of these. — G-Dragon
I teach at USC. I have a big class of 360 kids, only about a fifth of whom are film majors. I don't just show the Hollywood blockbusters. I show independent films, foreign films, documentaries. — Leonard Maltin
Believe it or not, if we want our kids to be healthy and do well in school, we have to start with the oral microbiome. — Mark Burhenne
Perhaps people, and kids especially, are spoiled today, because all the kids today have cars, it seems. When I was young you were lucky to have a bike. — James Cagney
If we are lending money that ostensibly we don't have to kids who have no hope of making it back in order to train them for jobs that clearly don't exist, I might suggest that we've gone around the bend a little bit. — Mike Rowe
I'm a firm believer that before you can go anywhere, you have to conquer the level that you are at, just like young kids do it today with video games, they have to finish one level to go to the next one. Conquer one level at the time, and only then you'll get where you want to go to. — Floyd Mayweather, Jr.
Ever since I was a little kid, whenever my parents would have company over, I would put on shows, whether they would be magic shows, singing shows, dancing shows, little skits. — Ellen Muth
I go to correctional facilities and talk to kids there. They have little kids in there who are, like, 12 years old, stealing cars and stuff like that. — Eazy-E
For me, growing up, the downside of it was that as a kid you don't want to stand out. You don't want to have a famous father let alone get a job because of your famous father, you know? But I'm a product of nepotism. That's how I got my foot in the door, through my dad. — Jeff Bridges
Kids have to be tough to survive on the streets of Kathmandu, where older gang members often beat and rob them. They face cold winters, hunger, homelessness, and unsympathetic police. But under each hardened shell there is still a child. — Craig Kielburger
I don't know how your theology works, but if Jesus has a choice between stained glass windows and feeding starving kids in Haiti, I have a feeling he'd choose the starving kids in Haiti. — Tony Campolo
Ever since I was a kid, I have loved the Moon. It's always there and continues to inspire humanity. — Yusaku Maezawa
50 percent of kids with ADHD were shown to no longer have symptoms after having their adenoids and tonsils removed. — James Nestor
I don’t want anyone having access to a nuclear arsenal that worships a god that's planning on, at some random time, blasting the planet I’m living on and wiping out the majority of the people, cause he's pissed about what they did to his f*cking hippie kid, 2000 years ago. — Duncan Trussell
If you had to have a diploma or a GED to collect unemployment, you'd see a lot more kids staying in school. — Wayne Knight
I m having kids so that one can be a billionaire and imma steal all there shit. — Jake Paul
The packaging has to really sell the product today, because kids can go out and buy a CD and then 10 kids can burn them. So you have to really be on your toes. — Jerry Only
The kid makes you sick. He looks the part, he walks the part, he is the part. He's six-foot something, fit as a flea, good-looking - he's got to have something wrong with him....Hopefully he's hung like a hamster! That would make us all feel better! — Cristiano Ronaldo
The fairy tales of how life is ‘supposed to be going’ will f*ck up your life. You don’t have to go to university at 18, get a job at 21, buy a house at 30, get married at 35, and have kids at 36. Everyone is completely different, and your path to happiness will be completely different too. — Steven Bartlett
Those things don't happen today. I feel sorry for the kids in the industry today. They have on sunglasses, eat caviar in jet planes, but they'll never know the true feeling that we did. — Ben E. King
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