Santa will be showing up with Rudolph the Red-Eyed Reindeer. — Conan O'Brien
I'm Santa Claus to these hoes without a reindeer. — Nicki Minaj
Santa Claus has the right idea - visit people only once a year. — Victor Borge
Santa Claus wears a Red Suit, he must be a communist. And a beard and long hair, must be a pacifist. What's in that pipe that he's smoking? — Arlo Guthrie
In a country of children where the option is Santa Claus or work, what wins? — Rush Limbaugh
There are three stages of man: he believes in Santa Claus; he does not believe in Santa Claus; he is Santa Claus. — Bob Phillips
No sane local official who has hung up an empty stocking over the municipal fireplace, is going to shoot Santa Claus just before a hard Christmas. — Alfred E. Smith
Santa is having a tough time this year. Last year he deducted eight billion for gifts, and the IRS wants an itemized list — Milton Berle
No sane local official who has hung up an empty stocking over the municipal fireplace is going to shoot Santa Claus just before a hard Christmas. — Al Smith
I love Christmas. Frosty the Snowman, peace on Earth and mangers, Salvation Army bell ringers and reindeer, the movie 'Meet Me in St. Louis,' office parties and cookies. — Mo Rocca
The main reason Santa is so jolly is because he knows where all the bad girls live. — George Carlin
The stockings were hung by the chimney with care,
In hopes that St. Nicholas soon would be there. — Clement Clarke Moore
I never believed in Santa Claus because I knew no white dude would come into my neighborhood after dark. — Dick Gregory
I stopped believing in Santa Claus when I was six. Mother took me to see him in a department store and he asked for my autograph. — Shirley Temple Black
Short Santa Claus Quotes
If Mitt Romney was Santa Claus, he would fire the reindeer and outsource the elves. — Ted Strickland
The Bermuda Triangle got tired of warm weather. It moved to Alaska. Now Santa Claus is missing. — Steven Wright
Kids believe in Santa; adults believe in childhood. — Cate Kennedy
More than Santa Claus, your sister knows when you've been bad and good. — Linda Sunshine
Christmas has a way of bringing out the best in everyone — Bing Crosby
Christmas is sights, especially the sights of Christmas reflected in the eyes of a child. — William Saroyan
It is Christmas in the heart that puts Christmas in the air. — William Thomas Ellis
Maybe Christmas, the Grinch thought, doesn't come from a store. — Dr. Seuss
Not a creature was stirring, not even an elf. — Charlaine Harris
Christmas, children, is not a date. It is a state of mind. — Mary Ellen Chase
Little Santa Claus Quotes
Muggles have garden gnomes, too, you know," Harry told Ron as they crossed the lawn. "Yeah, I've seen those things they think are gnomes," said Ron, bent double with his head in a peony bush, "like fat little Santa Clauses with fishing rods. — J. K. Rowling
Human life [is] ... a process of filling in time until the arrival of death, or Santa Claus, with very little choice, if any, of what kind of business one is going to transact during the long wait. — Eric Berne
Santa Claus was white and everything bad was black. The little ugly duckling was the black duck, and the black cat was the bad luck. And if I threaten you, I'm going to blackmail you.I said, 'Momma, why don't they call it 'whitemail'? They lie too.' — Muhammad Ali
With big folks, either people think you look mean or it's more of a jolly Santa Claus, 'Oh, he's just a pudgy little teddy bear pillow.' — The Notorious B.I.G.
For every little kid who still believes in Santa Claus, there is at least one adult who still believes in professional wrestling. — Doug Larson
You folks feeling the economic pinch? Are you a little fed up with the economic news? It's bad. The department stores, this holiday season, no Santa Claus. They're laying off department-store Santa Clauses. So more bad news for John McCain. — David Letterman
You know, in a way, 'Dear Santa Claus' is rather stuffy... Perhaps something a little more intimate would be better... Something just a shade more friendly..." "How about 'Dear Fatty'? — Charles M. Schulz
Christmas Santa Claus Quotes
Believe in love. Believe in magic. Hell, believe in Santa Clause. Believe in others. Believe in yourself. Believe in your dreams. If you don't, who will? — Jon Bon Jovi
I actually share her view and understand her frustration when any government attempts to ban secular symbols like Santa Claus or Rudolph the Red Nose Reindeer or Christmas lights. — Steve Israel
No matter what, I always make it home for Christmas. I love to go to my Tennessee Mountain Home and invite all of my nieces and nephews and their spouses and kids and do what we all like to do - eat, laugh, trade presents and just enjoy each other... and sometimes I even dress up like Santa Claus! — Dolly Parton
I stopped believing in Santa Claus when I was six. Mother took me to see him in a department store and he asked for my autograph. — Shirley Temple
For me growing up, Christmas time was always the most fantastic, exciting time of year, and you'd stay up until three in the morning. You'd hear the parents wrapping in the other room but you knew that also, maybe, they were in collusion with Santa Claus. — Chris Pine
Postal officials say that before Christmas they receive tons of letters written to Santa Claus, but after Christmas how few letters of thanks are sent to him! From childhood onward, human beings seem to be characterized by thanklessness. — Robert E. Lee
This is, first and last, the real value of Christmas; in so far as the mythology remains at all it is a kind of happy mythology. Personally, of course, I believe in Santa Claus; but it is the season of forgiveness, and I will forgive others for not doing so. — Gilbert K. Chesterton
Talk about cheap - on Christmas Eve, my neighbour shoots off three blanks and tells his kids Santa Claus just committed suicide. — Milton Berle
Here comes Santa Claus! Here comes Santa Claus! Right down Santa Claus Lane! — Gene Autry
Christians are like a thirteen year old kid who still believes in Santa. — Jim Jefferies
Santa knows Physics: Of all colors, Red Light penetrates fog best. That's why Benny the Blue-nosed reindeer never got the gig. — Neil deGrasse Tyson
Growing up in northern California has had a big influence on my love and respect for the outdoors. When I lived in Oakland, we would think nothing of driving to Half Moon Bay and Santa Cruz one day and then driving to the foothills of the Sierras the next day. — Tom Hanks
Jesus was a white man, too. Its like we have, hes a historical figure thats a verifiable fact, as is Santa, I just want kids to know that. How do you revise it in the middle of the legacy in the story and change Santa from white to black? — Megyn Kelly
My dad was a complicated man. He was a huge racist, my dad, but he still tried to be a good father, you know? Like, he would tell me that Santa Claus was black - that way, when I found out he didn't exist, it wouldn't be that big a let down. — Anthony Jeselnik
Christmas is the time when kids tell Santa what they want and adults pay for it. Deficits are when adults tell government what they want and their kids pay for it. — Richard Lamm
I called my wife up on the cell phone and said baby you aint gonna believe this, i go, we just hit a deer with the airplane. and there was a silence on the other end of the line followed by.. OH MY GOD.! were you on the ground? I said nope, santa was makin one last run. — Bill Engvall
If I had a kid, I'd give him a name that would make everyone would want to say his name. I'd call him, Pizza-Pussy-Santa. I would! Cause everybody likes one of those things. — Dave Attell
Physically he was the connoisseur's connoisseur. He was a giant panda, Santa Claus and the Jolly Green Giant rolled into one. On him, a lean and slender physique would have looked like very bad casting. — Craig Claiborne
Ferrari’s own parties are the nicest. There are all the crew and their children. I don’t know exactly what I will do there. Maybe I will be Santa. Other parties are official and boring. — Kimi Raikkonen
Believe In Santa Quotes
To your enemy, forgiveness. To an opponent, tolerance. To a friend, heart. To a customer, service. To all, charity. To every child, a good example. To you, respect. — Oren Arnold
Be sure to lie to your kids about the benevolent, all-seeing Santa Claus. It will prepare them for an adulthood of believing in God. — Scott Dikkers
Christmas gift suggestions: To your enemy, forgiveness. To an opponent, tolerance. — Oren Arnold
I don't believe in right or left; I don't believe in Santa or Satan. I believe in things I can touch - like vodka and Oreos. — Christopher Titus
I'm concerned about my daughter because she will not believe in Santa Claus. No matter what I say to her, she just doesn't buy it, and she's 2. I refuse to give it up. I say, 'There is a Santa Claus,' and she says, 'Okay, Mommy. In pretend world, right?' She really doesn't believe. — Salma Hayek
Christmas is a time when everybody wants his past forgotten and his present remembered. — Phyllis Diller
I still believe in Santa, the Easter Bunny, the Tooth Fairy and true love. Don't even try to tell me different. — Dolly Parton
I'm the only one who still believes in Santa Claus! — Edith Piaf
Santa is our culture's only mythic figure truly believed in by a large percentage of the population. It's a fact that most of the true believers are under eight years old, and that's a pity. — Chris Van Allsburg
Because I am still a little girl who believes in Santa and the tooth fairy and you. — Laurie Halse Anderson
Father Christmas Quotes
The great man is he who does not lose his child's heart. — Mencius
You can never truly enjoy Christmas until you can look up into the Father's face
and tell him you have received his Christmas gift. — John R. Rice
When I was five my parents bought me a ukulele for Christmas. I quickly learned how to play it with my father's guidance. Thereafter, my father regularly taught me all the good old fashioned songs. — Tony Visconti
Celebrate the feast of Christmas every day, even every moment in the interior temple of your spirit, remaining like a baby in the bosom of the heavenly Father, where you will be reborn each moment in the Divine Word, Jesus Christ. — Paul of the Cross
At Christmas, I am always struck by how the spirit of togetherness lies also at the heart of the Christmas story. A young mother and a dutiful father with their baby were joined by poor shepherds and visitors from afar. They came with their gifts to worship the Christ child. — Queen Elizabeth II
The one thing I remember about Christmas was that my father used to take me out in a boat about ten miles offshore on Christmas Day, and I used to have to swim back. Extraordinary. It was a ritual. Mind you, that wasn't the hard part. The difficult bit was getting out of the sack. — John Cleese
The Christmas message is that there is hope for a ruined humanity--hope of pardon, hope of peace with God, hope of glory--because at the Father's will Jesus became poor, and was born in a stable so that thirty years later He might hang on a cross. — J. I. Packer
My father died when I was young and I was raised by my grandmother, Emma Klonjlaleh Brown. We could afford to eat chicken just once a year, on Christmas. — George Weah
My father gave me a bat for Christmas. The first time I tried to play with it, it flew away. — Rodney Dangerfield
Christmas at my house is always at least six or seven times more pleasant than anywhere else. We start drinking early. And while everyone else is seeing only one Santa Claus, we'll be seeing six or seven. — W. C. Fields
Christmas Quotes
A Christian should resemble a fruit tree with real fruit, not a Christmas tree with decorations tied on — John Stott
For Christians, as for all people of faith, reflection, meditation and prayer help us to renew ourselves in God's love, as we strive daily to become better people. The Christmas message shows us that this love is for everyone. There is no one beyond its reach. — Queen Elizabeth II
If we could condense all the truths of Christmas into only three words, these would be the words: 'God with us.' — John F. MacArthur
Rejoice, that the immortal God is born, so that mortal men may live in eternity. — Jan Hus
This past Christmas, I told my girlfriend for months in advance that all I wanted was an Xbox. That's it. Beginning and end of list, Xbox. You know what she got me? A homemade frame with a picture of us from our first date together. Which was fine. Because I got her an Xbox. — Anthony Jeselnik
Biceps are like ornaments on a Christmas tree. — Ed Coan
We tend to focus our attention at Christmas on the infancy of Christ.
The greater truth of the holiday is His deity.
More astonishing than a baby in the manger is the truth that this promised baby
is the omnipotent Creator of the heavens and the earth! — John F. MacArthur
Rudolph, the red-nosed reindeer, had a very shiny nose. And if you ever saw him, you would even say it glows. — Johnny Marks
Jesus was God and man in one person, that God and man might be happy together again. — George Whitefield
I’ll continue to make videos as long as I have the time and people continue to watch my videos, but eventually I’d like to mainstream into TV or movies. — Ryan Higa
I think we felt the pressure more at first than this time around. But still you don't want to let anyone down. I never even met Patrick until we had a Christmas party at Ian McKellen's house on the first movie and then I didn't see him again until the premiere. — Rebecca Romijn
On Christmas, my family and I see a movie and go out for Chinese food. We dont celebrate Christmas in the traditional sense, in that we do not actually celebrate Christmas. — Eden Sher
You can't fool me. There ain't no Sanity Clause! — George S. Kaufman
Every time a bell rings, an angel gets his wings. — Karolyn Grimes
My favorite traditional Christmas movie that I like to watch is All Quiet on the Western Front. It's just not December without that movie in my house. — Tom Hanks
Fantastic! Right in the middle of that long stretch between Christmas and Spring Break, your coats are getting dirty, everything's dark, dingy - what a great time for a movie! — John Hughes
Strange, isn't it? Each man's life touches so many other lives. When he isn't around he leaves an awful hole, doesn't he? — Henry Travers
Christmas Gift Quotes
Gifts of time and love are surely the basic ingredients of a truly merry Christmas. — Peg Bracken
It is Christmas every time you let God love others through you. — Mother Teresa
Christmas is the season of joy, of holiday greetings exchanged, of gift-giving,and of families united. — Norman Vincent Peale
It's Christmas time and my rhyme's steady bumpin. Everybody happy, hair still nappy, Gonna steal a gift for my old grandpappy. — Snoop Dogg
Love came down at Christmas, Love all lovely, Love Divine; Love was born at Christmas; Star and angels gave the sign. — Christina Rossetti
A little smile, a word of cheer, A bit of love from someone near, A little gift from one held dear, Best wishes for the coming year. These make a merry christmas! — John Greenleaf Whittier
Christmas is the day that holds all time together. — Alexander Smith
The very purpose of Christ's coming into the world was that He might offer up His life as a sacrifice for the sins of men. He came to die. This is the heart of Christmas. — Billy Graham
Blessed is the season which engages the whole world in a conspiracy of love. — Hamilton Wright Mabie
Bless us Lord, this Christmas, with quietness of mind; Teach us to be patient and always to be kind. — Helen Steiner Rice
Our hearts grow tender with childhood memories and love of kindred, and we are better throughout the year for having, in spirit, become a child again at Christmas-time. — Laura Ingalls Wilder
Christmas waves a magic wand over this world, and behold, everything is softer and more beautiful. — Norman Vincent Peale
The best of all gifts around any Christmas tree: the presence of a happy family all wrapped up in each other. — Bill Vaughan
The joy of brightening other lives, bearing each others' burdens, easing other's loads and supplanting empty hearts and lives with generous gifts becomes for us the magic of Christmas. — William Carey Jones
Christmas is doing a little something extra for someone. — Charles M. Schulz
There is no ideal Christmas; only the one Christmas you decide to make as a reflection of your values, desires, affections, traditions. — Bill McKibben
Blessed is the season which engages the whole world in a conspiracy of love. It is Christmas in the heart that puts Christmas in the air. — William Thomas Ellis
Vlad had found himself longing to encounter those of his own kind, to travel to the streets of Elysia-that far away world, but after a while it seemed more of a fairy tale than anything else. Like Santa Claus and the Tooth Fairy, only with fangs. — Heather Brewer
One of the saddest days of my life was when my mother told me Superman did not exist. I was like what do you mean he's not real. And she thought I was crying because it’s like Santa Claus is not real and I was crying because there was no one coming with enough power to save us. — Geoffrey Canada
The saddest moment in a child's life is not when he learns that Santa Claus isn't real, it's when he learns that Vince Russo is. — Jim Cornette
We have confused God with Santa Claus. And we believe that prayer means making a list of everything you don't have but want and trying to persuade God you deserve it. Now I'm sorry, that's not God, that's Santa Claus. — Harold S. Kushner
"The only reason some of us are not exiled or thrown into prison is simply because we do not preach as fervently and as sternly as did Paul, John, Peter R.A. Torrey and others. This modern "santa claus" religion that is sweeping country today is not the religion Jesus taught and John practiced." — Oliver B. Greene
Prayers never bring anything... They may bring solace to the sap, the bigot, the ignorant, the aboriginal, and the lazy - but to the enlightened it is the same as asking Santa Claus to bring you something for Xmas — W. C. Fields
Please be informed, there is a Santa Claus. — Jim Lovell
Democracy is only a dream: it should be put in the same category as Arcadia, Santa Claus, and Heaven. — H. L. Mencken
Our family was too strange and weird for even Santa Claus to come visit ... Santa, who was jolly - but, let's face it, he was also very judgmental. — Julia Sweeney
If I ever saw magic on television I would say: 'I want that. That's what I want from Santa Claus'. So the cupboard in my bedroom was full of boxes of magic tricks, cups and balls, cards and foam rabbits, all sorts of stuff. — Colin Morgan
If SANTA CLAUS came down the chimney in a f**king jogging suit, you wouldn't even know it was him. — Wayne Coyne
Spirit and soul is horseshit of the worst sort. Obviously there are no fairies, no Santa Clauses, no spirits. What there is, is human goals and purposes as noted by sane existentialists. But a lot of transcendentalists are utter screwballs. — Albert Ellis
A cynic is just a man who found out when he was about ten that there wasn't any Santa Claus, and he's still upset. Yes, there'll be more war ; and soon, I don't doubt. There always has been. There'll be deaths and disappointments and failures. When they come, you meet them. — James Gould Cozzens
We're going to start with the injury report, obviously. Manning, Clark, Addai, Reggie Wayne, Freeney, Mathis, Brackett - all those guys will not play. Oh, hold up. That was my wish list for Santa Claus. — Rex Ryan
He was a parade all by himself, a burst of dazzle and jingle, Santa Claus drinking his whiskey straight and groaning with a bellyache... Babe Ruth made the music that his joyous years danced to in a continuous party... What Babe Ruth is comes down, one generation handing it down to the next, as a nation heirloom. — Jimmy Cannon
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