117 Two Year Olds Quotes
Following is our list of two year olds quotations and slogans full of insightful wisdom and perspective about 2 year old.
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Famous Two Year Olds Quotes
Youngsters of the age of two and three are endowed with extraordinary strength. They can lift a dog twice their own weight and dump him into the bathtub. — Erma Bombeck
Families survive the terrible twos because toddlers aren't strong enough to kill with their hands and aren't capable of using lethal weapons. — Paul Bloom
A two-year-old is kind of like having a blender, but you don't have a top for it. — Jerry Seinfeld
When kids hit one year old, it's like hanging out with a miniature drunk. You have to hold onto them. They bump into things. They laugh and cry. They urinate. They vomit. — Johnny Depp
If you have a 2 or 3 year old who is not talking, you must start an early intervention program. The worst thing you can do with an autistic 3 year old is to do nothing. — Temple Grandin
When I turned two I was really anxious, because I'd doubled my age in a year. I thought, if this keeps up, by the time I'm six I'll be ninety. — Steven Wright
We spend the first twelve months of our children's lives teaching them to walk and talk and the next twelve telling them to sit down and shut up. — Phyllis Diller
A three year old child is a being who gets almost as much fun out of a fifty-six dollar set of swings as it does out of finding a small green worm. — Bill Vaughan
A three-year old was examining his testicles while taking a bath. 'Mom,' he asked,'are these my brains?' 'Not yet.' she replied. — Allan Pease
There are only two things a child will share willingly; communicable diseases and its mother's age. — Benjamin Spock
The only people I have ever seen paint successfully, consistently, with great authority, unselfconsciously and without fear of failing were about four years old. — Brian Johnson
Little children, from the moment in which they are weaned, are making their way toward independence. — Maria Montessori
We spend the first year of a child's life teaching it to walk and talk and the rest of its life to shut up and sit down. There's something wrong there. — Neil deGrasse Tyson
A 4-year-old child actually has a few hundred million years of experience, not 4. Their rapid learning and generalization is much less shocking magical considering this fact. — Andrej Karpathy
The only creatures that are evolved enough to convey pure love are dogs and infants. — Johnny Depp
Short Two Year Olds Quotes
- Having one child makes you a parent; having two you are a referee. — David Frost
- Little boys have amazing minds. — Ferdinand Marcos
- The years of early childhood are the time to prepare the soil. — Rachel Carson
- What a child can do today with assistance, she will be able to do by herself tomorrow. — Lev S. Vygotsky
- Children are unpredictable. You never know what inconsistency they're going to catch you in next. — Franklin P. Jones
- The distinctive character of a child is to always live in the tangible present. — John Ruskin
- Give me your four year olds, and in a generation I will build a socialist state. — Vladimir Lenin
Two Year Olds Quotes
Racism isn't born, folks, it's taught. I have a two-year-old son. You know what he hates? Naps! End of list. — Denis Leary
For every Southern boy fourteen years old, not once but whenever he wants it, there is the instant when it's still not yet two o'clock on that July afternoon in 1863... — William Faulkner
For everything I do, I think about a 6-year-old girl and her mom that I saw at my concert last night. I think about what those two individuals would think if I were at a club last night. I never want to be arrested, and I never want to get a DUI, those are my moral values. — Taylor Swift
Physical growth is a function of time. No two-year-old child has ever been six feet tall. Intellectual growth is a function of learning. Spiritual growth is neither a function of time or learning, but it is a function of obedience. — John Bevere
Two may talk together under the same roof for many years, yet never really meet; and two others at first speech are old friends. — Mary Catherwood
When I was in my first year of college at Logan, Utah, I bought an old car for a hundred dollars. I was eighteen and thought that I knew all about driving. It was Christmastime, and my parents were living on a ranch in Wyoming. I picked up my two grandmot. — F. Burton Howard
Well, I just can't play the game anymore. I'm 63 years old, and I've been in the business for 40 years now. I take good advice and direction really well, but I don't need somebody that finished college two years ago to come in and tell me what I should be recording. — Charlie Daniels
At another house two women learned very fast; I say women, but one was a girl about twelve or thirteen, already married, however. There was a little child about three years old. My sister asked, 'Who is the True God's Son?' The little thing replied, in a very sweet voice, 'Jesus.' — Lottie Moon
Our top story tonight: Famous TV dolphin flipper was arrested today on prostitution ring charges. He allegedly was seen transporting two 16 year olds across state line for immoral porpoises. — Colin Mochrie
When I look in the mirror, I sometimes think I'm getting old, but then I have two generations behind me so that helps puts things into perspective. I am a grandmother now, but at least my nine-year-old grandson Jude calls me Glamma and not Granny. — Stephanie Beacham
2 Year Old Quotes
Having a highly trained obstetrical surgeon attend a normal birth is analogous to having a pediatric surgeon babysit a healthy 2-year-old. — Marsden Wagner
Give me 200 active 2-year-olds and I could conquer the world. — Bill Cosby
It's hard to think of yourself as a loser at 2 years old. — Jeff Foxworthy
When a chainsaw rips into a 2,000 year old redwood tree, it's ripping into my guts. When a bulldozer plows through the Amazon rainforest, it's ripping through my side. And when a Japanese whaling ship fires an exploding harpoon into a great whale it's my heart that's being blown to smithereens. — David Foreman
To me, literature is a calling, even a kind of salvation. It connects me with an enterprise that is over 2,000 years old. What do we have from the past? Art and thought. That’s what lasts. That’s what continues to feed people and give them an idea of something better. — Susan Sontag
THE 2,000-YEAR-OLD MAN'S SECRETS OF LONGEVITY 1. Don't run for a bus - there'll always be another. 2. Never, ever touch fried food. 3. Stay out of a Ferrari or any other small Italian car. 4. Eat fruit - a nectarine - even a rotten plum is good. — Mel Brooks
Ask me a question about paparazzi, and I get so heated. And I feel so bad for young kids of celebrities. My nieces and nephews get yelled at, and I'm like, 'You are yelling at a 2-year-old.' — Kendall Jenner
I drew when I was very, very young. My mom kept stuff I drew when I was 2 and a half years old, because it looked like, you know, like a jaguar as opposed to a cheetah. — Dan Povenmire
Think of fear as a 2-year-old child who doesn't want to go grocery shopping with you. Because you must buy groceries, you'll just have to take the two year old with you. Fear is no different. In other words, acknowledge that fear exists but don't let it keep you from doing important tasks. — Jack Canfield
I decided to do what I do when I was 2 years old. At 2 years old, you know, I heard the sound of a drum playing in the village, and I found my own drum and just picked it up and started playing, the worst song ever written by Wyclef Jean.But it actually started a vibe. — Wyclef Jean
Three Year Olds Quotes
When I was three years old I was taken with my family to a little town in Western Minnesota, where I lived a more or less vapid and ordinary life until I was ten. — Mary MacLane
I am 55 years old now. It takes three years to write one book. I don't know how many books I will be able to write before I die. It is like a countdown. So with each book I am praying - please let me live until I am finished. — Haruki Murakami
I got fascinated with all of this work in terms of spirituality, philosophy, behavioral science when I was around 18 years old. I've been doing this for 14 years, and I've been doing it online for three years. — Jay Shetty
Hunters will tell you that a moose is a wily and ferocious forest creature. Nonsense. A moose is a cow drawn by a three-year-old. — Bill Bryson
That I learned even as a three year-old that I see this world that is really a mess and I learned to say, this is not me. I am not the one that is messed up. It is out there. — Story Musgrave
There are surprisingly few real students of the game in baseball; partly because everybody, my eighty-three year old grandmother included, thinks they learned all there was to know about it at puberty. Baseball is very beguiling that way. — Alvin Dark
I can take a three-year-old and make a hit record with him. — Dr. Dre
A man of sixty has spent twenty years in bed and over three years in eating. — Arnold Bennett
Being a kid, by the time I was three years old, my mom was married, divorced and had three kids; she was 19 - so, my brother's just older than my mom. — Diamond Dallas Page
One of my earliest memories... I knew three full verses of the Star Spangled Banner when I was seven or eight years old. And one of the nuns discovered this phenomenon and I was actually sent around from classroom to classroom to do the whole thing. — Dave Van Ronk
Two-year Quotes
There are only two days in the year that nothing can be done. One is called Yesterday and the other is called Tomorrow. Today is the right day to Love, Believe, Do and mostly Live. — Dalai Lama
There are two days in the year that we can not do anything, yesterday and tomorrow — Mahatma Gandhi
You can make more friends in two months by becoming interested in other people than you can in two years by trying to get other people interested in you. — Dale Carnegie
I've lost a million and a half on the horses and dice in the last two years. And the funny part is, I still like 'em, and if someone handed me another million I'd put it right in the nose of some horse that looked good to me. — Al Capone
Pay attention America. Third party might not win it this year, but we could be seeing the shift away from a two party system unfolding. — Jill Stein
You can make more friends in two months by becoming really interested in other people, than you can in two years by trying to get other people interested in you. — Bernard Meltzer
Two hundred fifty years of slavery. Ninety years of Jim Crow. Sixty years of separate but equal. Thirty-five years of racist housing policy. Until we reckon with our compounding moral debts, America will never be whole. — Ta-Nehisi Coates
We torture and kill two billion sentient living beings every week. 10,000 entire species are wiped out every year because of the actions of one, and we are now facing the sixth mass extinction in cosmological history. If any other organism did this, a biologist would consider them a virus. — Philip Wollen
Every two years the American politics industry fills the airwaves with the most virulent, scurrilous, wall-to-wall character assassination of nearly every political practitioner in the country - and then declares itself puzzled that America has lost trust in its politicians. — Charles Krauthammer
I wasn't this nervous playing golf when I was drinking. It's the first tournament I've won on the PGA Tour in a sober manner, so it's a great feeling knowing I can do it sober. I don't think two years ago I could have pulled this off. — John Daly
Five Year Olds Quotes
The real menace in dealing with a five-year-old is that in no time at all you begin to sound like a five-year-old. — Jean Kerr
Country artists, I met a lot of them when I was five, six years old. I had an uncle who was a country and western singer and I met Lefty Frizzell when I was five or six years old in those shows that would come through Toronto from Nashville. — Rick Danko
The beautiful simplicity of our faith is that it distills down to the exact same bottom line for both the brilliant theologian and the five-year-old child: love God and love each other - period. — Richard Stearns
I believe in myself like a five-year-old believes in himself. They say look at me, look at me! Then they do a flip in the backyard. It won't even be that amazing, but everyone will be clapping for them. — Kanye West
When anybody, no matter how old they are, loses a parent, I think it hurts the same as if you were only five years old, you know? I think all of us are always five years old in the presence and absence of our parents. — Sherman Alexie
They say he's an intelligent man, right? Speaks five languages! I've got a 15-year-old boy from the Ivory Coast who speaks five languages! — Alex Ferguson
I've taken magic lessons since I was five-years-old. When I was little I would wear a top hat and cape, and I'd get relentlessly beat up by jocks. That's why I don't care for sports. — Matthew Gray Gubler
I feel like I could be likened to an old hound circling on a rug for the last five years. — Neil Young
I see the mind of the five-year-old as a volcano with two vents: destructiveness and creativeness. — Sylvia Ashton-Warner
I don't think films about elderly people have been made very much. I think of Cocoon and Driving Miss Daisy. But they always seem to be fairly successful, so it's a bit baffling as to why everybody has to be treated as if they were five-years-old. — Maggie Smith
People Writing About Two Year Olds
| Name | Quotes | Likes |
|---|---|---|
 Johnny Depp |
281 | 3331 |
 Erma Bombeck |
331 | 3736 |
 Paul Bloom |
55 | 132 |
 Jerry Seinfeld |
282 | 1528 |
 Temple Grandin |
192 | 1257 |
 Steven Wright |
543 | 9203 |
More Two Year Olds Quotes
Jimmy Page is an excellent producer. Led Zeppelin I and II are classics. As a player he's very good in the studio, but I've never seen him play well live. He's sloppy. He plays like he's got a broken hand and he's two years old. If you put out a good album and play like a two year old, what's the purpose? — Eddie Van Halen
My girlfriend has the greatest story as to why she isn't religious anymore. When she was a kid, like 12 years old, her parents nailed a 25 pound crucifix to the wall right above her bed. About two weeks later, in the middle of the night, the crucifix falls off the wall and leaves a two inch gash in the back of her dad's head. — Anthony Jeselnik
There are two novels that can transform a bookish 14-year-old's life: The Lord of the Rings and Atlas Shrugged. One is a childish daydream that can lead to an emotionally stunted, socially crippled adulthood ...in which large chunks of the day are spent inventing ways to make real life more like a fantasy novel. The other is a book about orcs. — Raj Patel
My very first acting job ever, the first time I got paid to be an actress, was in 2001, right between my sophomore and junior year in college, when I was just 19 years old. I got paid $250 every two weeks, 10 shows a week, to be in the Utah Shakespearean Festival. I was Calpurnia in 'Julius Caesar.' — Katy Mixon
If you want to live a long time, don't fool with nothing old but money, nothing big but a bank roll, nothing black but a Cadillac, nothing over twenty-two years, nothing that weighs over 130. If you do, you're in trouble. 'Cause when you're getting old and your cells gettin' low, you'll need a Delco battery to boost ya. — Satchel Paige
I think when I was two years old in the sandbox. I think I formulated my basic philosophy there, and I haven't really had to alter it very much ever since — Boyd Rice
I've got two daughters. 9 years old and 6 years old. I am going to teach them first of all about values and morals. But if they make a mistake, I don't want them punished with a baby. — Barack Obama
Every year white people add 100 years to how long ago slavery was. I've heard educated white people say, 'slavery was 400 years ago.' No it very wasn't. It was 140 years ago...that's two 70-year-old ladies living and dying back to back. That's how recently you could buy a guy. — Louis C. K.
I don't remember not singing. I started when I was, I don't know how - what, two years old, or a year old or something like that. — Glen Campbell
Americans are getting stronger. Twenty years ago, it took two people to carry ten dollars' worth of groceries. Today, a five-year-old can do it. — Henny Youngman
I wasn't really that informed about the two-year-old. Oh, I'd read about them, and occasionally I'd see documentaries on the Discovery Channel showing two-year-olds in the wild, where they belong. — Ray Romano
I was in a Montessori school. There was a drum circle with all the kids passing around a little bongo drum. I was the last person in the circle, and when it got to me I played 'Shave and a Haircut, Two Bits' - in front of all the parents. Blew the crowd away at five years old. — Jack White
What did I want with prestige? The British Open paid the winner $600 in American money. A man would have to be two hundred years old at that rate to retire from golf. — Sam Snead
Sometimes when I'm going to sleep, I think, 'Oh God, my future husband is out there somewhere and I might know him, or I might not, and I wonder what he's doing and I wonder if he knows me.' I just always think that's so fascinating, that even when you were two years old, your future husband was out there somewhere. — Emma Roberts
My father died when I was two years old. But my mother was quite capable. She raised three children with his war pension which was peanuts. Yet we did not want for anything. We grew up with a certain parsimony, which is a nice thing. Then if life gives you more good, otherwise you get used to. I'm still thrifty. — Giulio Andreotti
Umpiring is best described as the profession of standing between two seven-year olds with one ice cream cone. — Ron Luciano
Tomorrow, I am fifty-two years old. And I want to say unequivocally that I am very happy to be alive, that being alive is better than being dead. And if I have just one wish it is this: that you work with all your might and love with all your heart and never lose hope and never give up. — Betsy Lerner
I'm the only Red in our family! You know my father, my brother, my brother-in-law, my 14-year-old niece and two of my uncles are all City season ticket holders. So I'm gonna say 5-0 to United! — Ian Brown
Parents find many different ways to work their way through the assertiveness of their two-year-olds, but seeing that assertiveness as positive energy being directed toward growth as a competent individual may open up some new possibilities. — Fred Rogers
Fifteen-year-old girls produce children with sixteen-year-old boys in the backseat of cars and in the stairwells of apartment buildings. Why can't two loving adults who have contemplated parenthood and are prepared to offer love, patience, and devotion come up with enough chromosomal matter to stick together and create a child? — Scott Simon
I do sing in the car. I actually sing Britney Spears songs in the car - me and a close friend of mine. She lives in West Palm and I live in Miami, and when we're going back and forth to see each other, we sing: 'Oh, Baby Baby.' We sing all these 1990s songs. We're like two 14-year-old kids just having a good time. — Kelly Rowland
I'm not complicated at all. I say raps that your two-year-old son can learn. — Snoop Dogg
Two phrases I hate in reference to female characters are 'strong' and 'feisty.' They really annoy me. It's the most condescending thing. You say that about a three-year-old. It infantilises women. — Sayings
I always wanted to be a zookeeper when I was growing up, and I've wound up a zookeeper! I've been working with the Los Angeles Zoo for 45 years! I'm the luckiest old broad on two feet because my life is divided absolutely in half - half animals and half show business. You can't ask for better than two things you love the most. — Betty White
Why would anyone steal a shopping cart? It's like stealing a two-year-old. — Erma Bombeck
I was attacked by two dogs when I was three and a half years old. I'm lucky to be alive. My face was stitched back together and here I still am, gratefully so. I believe that experience shocked me into a deep alliance with the animal world, its beauty and viciousness and terror. — Alison Hawthorne Deming
My real father died when I was two years old, so I never knew him. He was a barber in Chicago. — Donald Johanson
When I was 19 years old, I was the number one star of the world for two years. When I was 40, nobody wanted me. — Mickey Rooney
So you're six years old, you're reading 'Snow White and the Seven Dwarves,' and it becomes rapidly obvious that there are only two kinds of men in the world: dwarves and Prince Charmings. And the odds are seven to one against your finding the prince. — Emily Levine
I spent two of my checks in telemarketing when I was 18 years old on my first pair of Gucci slippers, and this was before H&M and Zara. You couldn't just find cool stuff growing up, and for me, I care about cool stuff, it means a lot to me and people like me. — Kanye West
If you're flying with your children, it's best to book them on the same flight and not on one where they have more legroom and are leaving at a different time. They could get there earlier than you, and that causes resentment. Two-year-olds can also never figure out those connecting flights. It just makes it harder, so travel as a family. — Will Ferrell
You may consider me presumptuous, gentlemen, but I claim to be a citizen of the United States, with all the qualifications of a voter. I can read the Constitution, I am possessed of two hundred and fifty dollars, and the last time I looked in the old family Bible I found I was over twenty-one years of age. — Elizabeth Cady Stanton
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