Canada is like an old cow. The West feeds it. Ontario and Quebec milk it. And you can well imagine what it's doing in the Maritimes. — Tommy Douglas
Canada is a country whose main exports are hockey players and cold fronts. Our main imports are baseball players and acid rain. — Pierre Trudeau
I don't even know what street Canada is on. — Al Capone
I am so excited about Canadians ruling the world. — John Diefenbaker
Let us be French, let us be English, but most importantly let us be Canadian! — John A. Macdonald
You can't stand up for Canada with a banana for a backbone. — Sayings
Hi, I'm Mike Huckabee of Arkansas, wanting to say "Congratulations, Canada, on preserving your national igloo". — Mike Huckabee
In Washington they have their hawks and doves and in Ottawa we have our parrots. — Tommy Douglas
Canada will be a strong country when Canadians of all provinces feel at home in all parts of the country, and when they feel that all Canada belongs to them. — Pierre Trudeau
If the national mental illness of the United States is megalomania, that of Canada is paranoid schizophrenia. — Margaret Atwood
Canada is today the most successful pluralist society on the face of our globe, without any doubt in my mind... That is something unique to Canada. It is an amazing global human asset. — Aga Khan IV
There are no limits to the majestic future which lies before the mighty expanse of Canada with its virile, aspiring, cultured, and generous-hearted people. — Winston Churchill
Canadian federalism is more than a form of government. It's also a system of values that allows different people in diverse communities to live and work together in harmony for the good of all. — Jean Chretien
Canadian hockey players always find a way to get along. — Carey Price
The United States and Canada are a triumph of geography over history. — Tim Marshall
Short Canada Funny Quotes
I am not anti-American. But I am strongly pro-Canadian. — John G. Diefenbaker
It is wonderful to feel the grandness of Canada in the raw. — Emily Carr
This fastest of all games [hockey] has become almost as much of a national svmbol as the maple leaf. — Lester B. Pearson
If Canada is to survive, it can only survive in mutual respect and in love for one another. — Pierre Trudeau
I'm funny how, I mean funny like I'm a clown? — Joe Pesci
A farce, or slapstick humor, does well universally. — John Ratzenberger
We're living in a Leslie Nielsen movie. — Dave Smith
If you can't make it better, you can laugh at it. — Erma Bombeck
Canada Funny Image Quotes
To thrive in life you need three bones. A wishbone. A backbone. And a funny bone.
Canada Quotes
My dream is for people around the world to look up and to see Canada like a little jewel sitting at the top of the continent. — Tommy Douglas
Stephen Harper is probably the most dangerous human being ever elevated to power in Canada. — Farley Mowat
Our hopes are high. Our faith in the people is great. Our courage is strong. And our dreams for this beautiful country will never die. — Pierre Trudeau
Isn't it funny how day by day nothing changes, but when you look back everything is different.
In Pierre Trudeau, Canada has finally produced a Prime Minister worthy of assassination. — John Diefenbaker
I am a Canadian, free to speak without fear, free to worship in my own way, free to stand for what I think right, free to oppose what I believe wrong, or free to choose those who shall govern my country. This heritage of freedom I pledge to uphold for myself and all mankind. — John Diefenbaker
I believe that never was a country better adapted to produce a great race of women than this Canada of ours, nor a race of women better adapted to make a great country. — Emily Murphy
I tried to be normal once. Worst to minutes of my life.
I am more convinced everyday that without a single exception I did right. And I have always believed that, as I have acted honestly, the time will come when the people of Canada will see and acknowledge it. — Louis Riel
It is wonderful to feel the grandness of Canada in the raw, not because she is Canada but because she's something sublime that you were born into, some great rugged power that you are a part of. — Emily Carr
I am a believer in women, in their ability to do things and in their influence and power. Women set the standards for the world, and it is for us, women in Canada, to set the standards high. — Nellie L. McClung
Cajun is country food by farmers and fisherman that arrived in Louisiana from Acadiana, Canada. — Paul Prudhomme
Canada Day Quotes
My grandmother flew only once in her life, and that was the day she and her new husband ascended into the skies of Victorian London in the wicker basket of a hot-air balloon. They were soon to emigrate to Canada, and the aerial ride was meant to be a last view of their beloved England. — Alan Bradley
When I'm in Canada, I feel this is what the world should be like. — Jane Fonda
After all, we fought the Yanks in 1812 and kicked them the hell out of our country - but not with blanks. — Farley Mowat
Never miss a good chance to shut up.
Today is the oldest you've ever been, and the youngest you'll ever be again. — Eleanor Roosevelt
A Canadian is somebody who knows how to make love in a canoe. — Pierre Berton
If you don't think that your country should come before yourself, you can better serve your country by livin' someplace else. — Stompin' Tom Connors
Canada is a place of infinite promise. We like the people, and if one ever had to emigrate, this would be the destination, not the U.S.A. The hills, lakes and forests make it a place of peace and repose of the mind, such as one never finds in the U.S.A. — John Maynard Keynes
Canada is the linchpin of the English-speakin g world — Winston Churchill
Canada is the greatest nation in this country. — Allan A. Lamport
Being Canadian Quotes
There is no such thing as a model or ideal Canadian. What could be more absurd than the concept of an "all Canadian" boy or girl? A society which emphasizes uniformity is one which creates intolerance and hate. — Pierre Trudeau
If you want to save a species, simply decide to eat it. Then it will be managed - like chickens, like turkeys, like deer, like Canadian geese. — Ted Nugent
There is no doubt in my mind and I know in my time, there will be a Canadian basketball player playing for Toronto Raptors, 100% — Masai Ujiri
I never forget a face, but in your case I'll be glad to make an exception.
I am a candid interview and I have a dark and dry sense of humor - a very Canadian sense of humor and I am only learning now stupidly that you can't read tongue. When I say something funny in a newspaper and I meant it to be funny, it doesn't read that way. — Michael Buble
You can't be Canadian without being aware of at least one other country, the United States, 'cause it's so important to us. I think we sometimes like to think that, you know, Americans will pay attention to us from time to time, too. — Justin Trudeau
Yeah, I was born in Montreal and I go back to Vancouver and Toronto a lot, so I have a sense of being Canadian, and I was raised by two Canadians, and my wife is Canadian, so yeah, I feel it. — Jason Reitman
Everything is funny as long as it is happening to somebody else.
I was criticized for being too much concerned with the average Canadians. I can't help that; I am one of them! — John Diefenbaker
Restoring accountability will be one of the major priorities of our new government. Accountability is what ordinary Canadians, working Canadians, those people who pay their bills, pay their taxes, expect from their political leaders. — Stephen Harper
Canadian weather resembles a slightly spoiled beautiful girl with a good heart, but a bad disposition. After being horrid for much too long a time, she suddenly turns right about and makes up for everything with so much charm that you vow again you always loved her! — Wilder Penfield
We were told, quite seriously, that there never would be a Canadian art because we had no art tradition. — Lawren Harris
The great themes of Canadian history are as follows: Keeping the Americans out, keeping the French in, and trying to get the Natives to somehow disappear. — Will Ferguson
I started life washing cars in Canada before moving on to selling life insurance and vacuum cleaners. Later, I went through a programme by Dr. Norman Vincent Peale, which literally changed my life. It was the turning point. — Shiv Khera
From there to here, and here to there, funny things are everywhere.
The US is our trading partner, our neighbour, our ally and our friend... and sometimes we'd like to give them such a smack! — Rick Mercer
I'm not going to play politics on the floor of the House of Commons. — John Turner
The huge advantage of Canada is its backwardness. — Marshall McLuhan
Money can't buy happiness. But it sure can rent it for awhile.
We peer so suspiciously at each other that we cannot see that we Canadians are standing on the mountaintop of human wealth, freedom and privilege. — Pierre Trudeau
Canadians are the people who learned to live without the bold accents of the natural ego-trippers of other lands. — Marshall McLuhan
We'll explain the appeal of curling to you if you explain the appeal of the National Rifle Association to us. — Andy Barrie
Canadians have an abiding interest in surprising those Americans who have historically made little effort to learn about their neighbour to the North. — Peter Jennings
Canadian Quotes
We must now establish the basic principles, the basic values and beliefs which hold us together as Canadians so that beyond our regional loyalties there is a way of life and a system of values which make us proud of the country that has given us such freedom and such immeasurable joy. — Pierre Trudeau
As a religion, bilingualism is the god that failed. It has led to no fairness, produced no unity, and cost Canadian taxpayers untold millions. — Stephen Harper
To the north, above the Great Lakes, lies the Canadian Shield, the world’s largest area of Precambrian Rock, much of which forms a barrier to human settlement. — Tim Marshall
My goal with the Canadian border is the same goal I have for Japan and Korea. — Mike Johanns
Canadians pay half their income in taxes, wait 2 years to see a specialist, and bleed for 18 hours in an ER next to a dozen addicts looking for free drugs, and then rave about how awesome it is that they have free healthcare. — Saifedean Ammous
Under this flag may our youth find new inspiration for loyalty to Canada; for a patriotism based not on any mean or narrow nationalism, but on the deep and equal pride that all Canadians will feel for every part of this good land. — Lester B. Pearson
Let's be pretty kind. Pretty funny. Pretty smart. Pretty strong
I have travelled around the globe. I have seen the Canadian and American Rockies, the Andes, the Alps and the Highlands of Scotland, but for simple beauty, Cape Breton outrivals them all! — Alexander Graham Bell
Everybody in Canada seemed to listen to what they enjoyed, and nobody could tell them what to like, or what was the popular, or what was the In thing. Even today, it is very hard to brainwash a Canadian. — Duke Ellington
The people of Canada do not wish as a result of mass immigration to make a fundamental alteration in the character of our population. Large scale immigration from the Orient would change the fundamental composition of the Canadian population. — William Lyon Mackenzie King
I'm a regular Canadian girl. I enjoy staying home. In the summer I've got a garden. I'm very much a homebody, a normal, family-oriented girl. But I do have this other incredible side of my life that involves acting and traveling. — Elisha Cuthbert
Politics Funny Quotes
The duty of a patriot is to protect his country from its government. — Edward Abbey
A businessman cannot force you to buy his product; if he makes a mistake, he suffers the consequences; if he fails, he takes the loss. If bureaucrat makes a mistake, you suffer the consequences; if he fails, he passes the loss on to you. — Ayn Rand
You can change your wife, your politics, your religion, but never, never can you change your favourite football team. — Eric Cantona
When I read about the evils of drinking, I gave up reading.
Politicians and diapers must be changed often, and for the same reason. — Mark Twain
In America, anyone can become president. That's the problem. — George Carlin
I prefer someone who burns the flag and then wraps themselves up in the Constitution over someone who burns the Constitution and then wraps themselves up in the flag. — Molly Ivins
To be sure of hitting the target, shoot first, and call whatever you hit the target — Ashleigh Brilliant
I think the Republican party should be placed in drydock and have the barnacles scraped off its bottom. — Tallulah Bankhead
A drug is not bad. A drug is a chemical compound. The problem comes in when people who take drugs treat them like a license to behave like an asshole. — Frank Zappa
As we go from Abraham Lincoln to Theodore Roosevelt to Mitt Romney, I now understand why the Republicans don't believe in evolution. — Andy Borowitz
Good Funny Quotes
Expecting the world to treat you fairly because you are a good person is a little like expecting the bull not to attack you because you are a vegetarian. — Dennis Wholey
Having sex is like playing bridge. If you don't have a good partner, you'd better have a good hand. — Woody Allen
I've lost a million and a half on the horses and dice in the last two years. And the funny part is, I still like 'em, and if someone handed me another million I'd put it right in the nose
of some horse that looked good to me. — Al Capone
A good friend is a connection to life - a tie to the past, a road to the future, the key to sanity in a totally insane world. — Lois Wyse
A good speech should be like a woman's skirt: long enough to cover the subject and short enough to create interest — Winston Churchill
A friend is someone who knows the song in your heart, and can sing it back to you when you have forgotten the words. — Donna Roberts
Women need a reason to have sex, men just need a place. — Billy Crystal
love the life you live. live the life you love. — Bob Marley
I just think you Westerners should take over this country if you are so smart. — Pierre Trudeau
I saw a notice that said "Drink Canada Dry" and I've just started. — Brendan Behan
That's the first time he had started from the front row in a Grand Prix, having done so in Canada earlier this year. — Murray Walker
There are few, if any, Canadian men that have never spelled their name in a snow bank. — Douglas Coupland
Border relations between Canada and Mexico have never been better. — George W. Bush
Canadian pride may not rest on our sleeves, but it resides deeply in our hearts. — Steve Miller
We have it all. We have great diversity of people, we have a wonderful land, and we have great possibilities. So all those things combined there's nowhere else I'd rather be. — Bob Rae
My dad had this thing - everyone in Canada wants to play hockey; that's all they want to do. So when I was a kid, whenever we skated my dad would not let us on the ice without hockey sticks, because of this insane fear we would become figure skaters! — Norm MacDonald
Many Canadian nationalists harbour the bizarre fear that should we ever reject royalty, we would instantly mutate into Americans, as though the Canadian sense of self is so frail and delicate a bud, that the only thing stopping it from being swallowed whole by the US is an English lady in a funny hat. — Will Ferguson
Quebec from the boat looked like the ramparts where Hamlet's ghost might have walked. — Charlie Chaplin
I'm from Canada, so Thanksgiving to me is just Thursday with more food. And I'm thankful for that. — Howie Mandel
Hysterically funny, amazingly talented people. That's what I think of when I think of Canada. That, and cold beer. And mountains. — Richard Patrick
With or without the Royals, we are not Americans. Nor are we British. Or French. Or Void. We are something else. And the sooner we define this, the better. — Will Ferguson
I read and learned and fretted more about Canada after I left than I ever did while I was home. I absorbed anything I could on topics that ranged from Folklore to history to political mainifestos... I ranted and raved and seethed about things beyond my control. In short I acted like a Canadian. — Will Ferguson
It seems that Canada's historic mission is to come to the selfless aid both of its friends and of complete strangers, and then, once the crisis is over, to be well and truly ignored. Canada is the perpetual wallflower that stands on the edge of the hall, waiting for someone to come and ask her for a dance. — Kevin Myers
Welcome to 'Who's Line Is It Anyway' the show where everything's made up and the points don't matter. That's right the points are just like Canada. — Drew Carey
There are also a number of humans living up there (Canada), and in many ways they have a lifestyle quite similar to ours, including such traditional American activities as driving Japanese cars. — Dave Barry
Canada, as you know, is a major important nation boasting a sophisticated, cosmopolitan culture that was tragically destroyed last week by beavers. — Dave Barry
I went to military college in Canada and graduated as an officer in the Navy but also as an engineer. — Marc Garneau
Canadians don't have a very big political lever, we're nice guys. — Paul Henderson
A lot of funny stuff happens in Canada. — Samantha Bee
I'm writing a political comedy that takes place in Canada in Quebec. It's funny. Saying political comedy is a little redundant but it's a first. I've never done any comedy per se. — Philippe Falardeau
I've worked in almost every other place in Canada except Toronto, funny enough, where my husband's from. The first time I was here it was winter, and I got engaged. The second time I was here it was summer, and I was married. My family lives here, my stepson lives here, so it's a wonderful place. Everyone's very nice and hospitable, unlike Hollywood. — Tori Spelling
I got drunk in Canada. I was there for 2 days but I was drunk there for 4 days. I don't know how it worked. I guess it was with the time difference or something. — Adam Carolla
In Sussex Drive, Linda Svendsen takes us deep behind the lines of Ottawa’s politics, polls and pomp, and into the lives of Canada’s two most powerful women. By turns shocking, funny, sizzling and illuminating, this story is brilliantly written with an unnerving authenticity that makes it seem all too real. You’re going to want to read this. — Terry Fallis
Not until I came to Canada did I realize that snow was a four-letter word. — Alberto Manguel
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