I'm an athlete, I'm funny, I'm creative, I can tell a story, I'm likable. — Logan Paul
It takes a smart brunette to play a dumb blonde. — Marilyn Monroe
Let's make math fun and sexy and glamorous. Smart is sexy, that's one of my main messages. — Danica McKellar
In a late-night monologue, it's not just about being funny; you have to come off as knowledgeable. You have to cultivate a persona of trust and intelligence and likeability. — Anthony Jeselnik
Short Smart And Funny Quotes
A smart girl is one who knows how to play tennis, golf, piano -- and dumb. — Marilyn Monroe
Wittiness turns me on more than anything else. — Caity Lotz
Humor and knowledge are the two great hopes of our culture. — Konrad Lorenz
You’re not too smart, are you? I like that in a man — Kathleen Turner
The thing about smart people is that they seem like crazy people to dumb people. — Stephen Hawking
I love funny women, and just being around them talking is fine with me. I love an interesting mind. — 50 Cent
Reddit is the smart man's Instagram, and the dumb man's twitter. — Steven Gundry
People of humor are always in some degree people of genius. — Samuel Taylor Coleridge
A wise girl knows her limits, a smart girl knows that she has none. — Marilyn Monroe
If I couldn't be pretty, I decided I would be smart. — Karen Horney
Smart And Funny Image Quotes
Intelligent people tend to have less friends than the average person. The smarter you are, the more selevtive you become.
Knowledge is realizing that the street is one way; wisdom is looking in both directions anyway. — Albert Einstein
I mean, I do love clever and witty, but I think that the 'Three Stooges' were geniuses. They'd have to be for their appeal to have lasted this long. — Paula Poundstone
To thrive in life you need three bones. A wishbone. A backbone. And a funny bone.
He is simply a shiver looking for a spine to run up — Paul Keating
The present generation, wearied by its chimerical efforts, relapses into complete indolence. Its condition is that of a man who has only fallen asleep towards morning: first of all come great dreams, then a feeling of laziness, and finally a witty or clever excuse for remaining in bed. — Soren Kierkegaard
Nixon's motto was, if two wrongs don't make a right, try three. — Norman Cousins
Isn't it funny how day by day nothing changes, but when you look back everything is different.
Now it's virtually impossible to write a game that successfully provides challenge and frustration, and that's a shame. We are going to lose something that makes scientists, that makes doers, that makes hard-minded, witty, clever people, and I worry that those people aren't being made these days. — Patrick Rothfuss
Clever, witty and absorbing, Amortality is a much-needed anatomy of our profound malaise about ageing. Its charms will never fade. — David Baddiel
A father may have a child who is ugly and lacking in all the graces, and the love he feels for him puts a blindfold over his eyes so that he does not see his defects but considers them signs of charm and intelligence and recounts them to his friends as if they were clever and witty. — Miguel de Cervantes
Pickup lines never work...I think someone clever, witty and funny is very attractive. — Kate Upton
Very Witty Quotes
The superfluous, a very necessary thing. — Voltaire
I do this real moron thing, and it's called thinking. And apparently I'm not a very good American because I like to form my own opinions. — George Carlin
Jogging is very beneficial. It's good for your legs and your feet. It's also very good for the ground. If makes it feel needed. — Charles M. Schulz
The smarter you get, the less you speak.
When I was born ... the doctor came out to the waiting room and said to my father ... I'm very sorry. We did everything we could ... but he pulled through. — Rodney Dangerfield
I was brought up by very witty people who were dealing with quite difficult things: disease and death... I was brought up by people who tended to giggle at funerals. — Emma Thompson
They tell you that you'll lose your mind when you grow older. What they don't tell you is that you won't miss it very much. — Malcolm Cowley
I tried to be normal once. Worst to minutes of my life.
The voice of Thich Nhat Hanh-friendly, patient, steadfast, confident, contemporary, and often witty-seems, to me, an intermediary big brother talking directly to me on every page saying, 'Look! It's right there in you,' the very wisdom that leads to compassion. — Sylvia Boorstein
Courtship to marriage, as a very witty prologue to a very dull play. — William Congreve
There are three estates in Parliament but in the Reporters' Gallery yonder there sits a Fourth Estate more important far than they all. It is not a figure of speech or witty saying, it is a literal fact, very momentous to us in these times. — Edmund Burke
I don't think there's any harm at all in allowing a kid to fantasize. In fact, I think to stop people from fantasizing is a very destructive thing indeed. — J. K. Rowling
Good Funny Quotes
Expecting the world to treat you fairly because you are a good person is a little like expecting the bull not to attack you because you are a vegetarian. — Dennis Wholey
Having sex is like playing bridge. If you don't have a good partner, you'd better have a good hand. — Woody Allen
I've lost a million and a half on the horses and dice in the last two years. And the funny part is, I still like 'em, and if someone handed me another million I'd put it right in the nose
of some horse that looked good to me. — Al Capone
You are too smart to worry and too cute to care.
A good friend is a connection to life - a tie to the past, a road to the future, the key to sanity in a totally insane world. — Lois Wyse
A good speech should be like a woman's skirt: long enough to cover the subject and short enough to create interest — Winston Churchill
A friend is someone who knows the song in your heart, and can sing it back to you when you have forgotten the words. — Donna Roberts
Women need a reason to have sex, men just need a place. — Billy Crystal
love the life you live. live the life you love. — Bob Marley
There is a planet named Pluto, but we don't have one named Goofy. Goofy would be a good name for this planet. It certainly qualifies. — Sayings
Very Smart Quotes
If your emotional abilities aren't in hand, if you don't have self-awareness, if you are not able to manage your distressing emotions, if you can't have empathy and have effective relationships, then no matter how smart you are, you are not going to get very far. — Daniel Goleman
If you’re a gazelle, you don’t have a very complex emotional life, despite being a social species. But primates are just smart enough that they can think their bodies into working differently. It’s not until you get to primates that you get things that look like depression. — Robert M. Sapolsky
For a woman to be able to dominate and also be feminine and soft, that's a talent. And its not all about appearance. A woman who has a brain, who is street-smart and book-smart, that woman is very, very sexy to me. — Usher
Never miss a good chance to shut up.
The really smart thinkers are clear thinkers. They understand the basics at a very, very fundamental level. I would rather understand the basics really well than memorize all kinds of complicated concepts I can’t stitch together and can’t rederive from the basics. — Naval Ravikant
The dog is very smart. He feels sorry for me because I receive so much mail; that's why he tries to bite the mailman. — Albert Einstein
Obscenities... I think a lot of dumb people do it because they can't think of what they want to say and they're frustrated. A lot of smart people do it to pretend they aren't very smart - want to be just one of the boys. — Andy Rooney
Trust me, You can dance.
I was a bookworm, and very skinny with big, thick glasses. I never went on dates and guys were afraid of me because I was smart. So I got contact lenses, started to dress a little better and tried not to talk about Plato with boys. It worked! — Julianne Moore
In Europe they call geeks 'smart people,' and frankly I think we live in a culture that doesn't value intelligence enough; so I am very proud in saying that I am a geek. — James Marsters
Ludacris is a very smart individual. He's about his business. Everything is business with him. So I learned a lot about making deals from him. — 2 Chainz
I'm an optimist in the sense that I believe humans are noble and honorable, and some of them are really smart. I have a very optimistic view of individuals. — Steve Jobs
Extremely Funny Quotes
Men Wanted for Dangerous Expedition: Low Wages for Long Hours of Arduous Labour under Brutal Conditions; Months of Continual Darkness and Extreme Cold; Great Risk to Life and Limb from Disease, Accidents and Other Hazards; Small Chance of Fame in Case of Success. — Ernest Shackleton
Hitler was a vegetarian. Just goes to show, vegetarianism, not always a good thing. Can in some extreme cases lead to genocide. — Bill Bailey
The standard four food groups are based on American agricultural lobbies. Why do we have a milk group? Because we have a National Dairy Council. Why do we have a meat group? Because we have an extremely powerful meat lobby. — Marion Nestle
Even fools seem smart when they are quiet.
Epcot Center also features pavilions built by various foreign nations, where you can experience an extremely realistic simulation of what life in these nations would be like if they consisted almost entirely of restaurants and souvenir stores. — Dave Barry
When I was a kid, I used to watch 'Laurel and Hardy' with my cousins all the time. I still think they're extremely funny and so surreal. — David Chase
I mean they [ Bradley Cooper, Zach Galifianakis] are both just really good guys and also they're both extremely funny in very unique ways. We made each other laugh an awful lot, and that goes a long way. And we also went through some hard times. I mean it was hard to make this movie [The Hangover]. — Ed Helms
Everything is funny as long as it is happening to somebody else.
Optimism isnt funny unless you are laughing at the person, whereas extreme pessimism is extremely funny. Its exaggeration. — Steve Toltz
From Kelsey, I have learned among many other things the value of turning on a dime and how you can have an extremely funny and extremely poignant moment with absolutely no separation in between... and sometimes in the same moment. — David Hyde Pierce
It's funny, though, because when I first started going to races after we met, I was extremely nervous. It's like being backstage and hoping you don't trip over something or break an amp or accidentally speak into a live microphone, so I was really hesitant. — Ashley Judd
The European drivers have adapted to this circuit extremely quickly, especially Paul Radisich who's a New Zealander. — Murray Walker
The early bird gets the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese — Steven Wright
Nobody cares that you're smart and nobody cares that your kids don't have bruises. — Jim Jefferies
I never forget a face, but in your case I'll be glad to make an exception.
I'd much rather be a woman than a man. Women can cry, they can wear cute clothes, and they're the first to be rescued off sinking ships. — Gilda Radner
I loved this smart, funny, big-hearted novel. As hilarious and wise as early Philip Roth, The Mathematician's Shiva will delight and move you. — Steven Strogatz
Johnny Rotten. He's a big fan of mine. I used to see him out in the audience in England and he'd stand up and holler. He's funny. Smart too, and a nice guy. Don't think he's a jerk because he isn't. — Don Van Vliet
Deep inside, she knew who she was, and that person was smart and kind and often even funny, but somehow her personality always got lost somewhere between her heart and her mouth, and she found herself saying the wrong thing or, more often, nothing at all. — Julia Quinn
I was just a goofy little funny kid, who was always getting sent to the principal. It wasn't serious because I was smart. I wasn't like a true troublemaker, just rambunctious - like, talkative and trying to be funny. That was me in middle-school. — J. Cole
I am all in favour of spontaneity, providing it is carefully planned and ruthlessly controlled. — John Gielgud
The second mouse gets the cheese! — Terry Pratchett
The main reason women are crazy, is that men are stupid. — George Carlin
I have the street smarts and survival skills of, like, a poodle. — Jennifer Lawrence
There's no such thing as 'hard sell' and 'soft sell.' There's only 'smart sell' and 'stupid sell.' — Leo Burnett
It is only the very wisest and the very stupidest who never change. — Confucius
My brother played the game with his friends, so I thought I was a pretty smart kid and I played this friend of mine and he just crushed me and this was Brooklyn Tech High School in Brooklyn where I still live, in Brooklyn, New York and this guy beat me so bad it wasn't even funny. I couldn't understand why he beat me. — Maurice Ashley
My mother is schizophrenic. I would love to be brave enough to learn more about it. I try to understand her, I try to be positive about it. She can be so absent and tired by her medication; sometimes she's so lucid, funny, and smart. — Pom Klementieff
These were people... who built redwood decks on their mobile homes and have no idea that smart-aleck Yankees think that is somehow funny. People of the pines. My people. — Rick Bragg
I got used to dealing with groups of boys and getting on with life in unpleasant circumstances and being smart and funny and subversive at the expense of authority. — Eric Idle
I play a female Indiana Jones, a professor who hunts down precious objects, like a bowl that belonged to the Buddha. They tailored the role to me: I wanted to be smart, funny, and to kick some ass. — Tia Carrere
In grade school I was smart, but I didn't have any friends. In high school, I quit being smart and started having friends. — David Spade
Cherry Money Baby is fabulous in every sense of the word! It’s earthy and smart and moving, laugh-out-loud funny, surprising, inventive, suspenseful, and — Oh, Hell — just gorgeously written! — Tim Wynne-Jones
I bring my dogs on set with me, and my little dog Karoo is smart as a whip. She knows where the craft-services food tables are, so anytime I can't find her, I know she has found her way to that area. She's a funny dog. — Hilary Swank
I really like 'Shameless' because it brings up important issues, but we get to talk and laugh and look at something that's really important, that's a problem, like alcoholism and bad parenting. It's done in a funny, smart way. — Justin Chatwin
May we now all rise and sing the eternal school hymn: "Attack. Attack. Attack Attack Attack!" — Danny Baker
I'm attracted to women who are smart and funny and ambitious and have lives of their own and great families. Isn't that what attracts anyone? — Tom Brady
If I could play any role in any musical, it would be Desiree in A Little Night Music - Oh my, it is perfection. The character gets to be funny, beautiful, sexy and smart all at the same time and have two men fighting over her. The show is Stephen Sondheim at his absolute best... need I say more? — Nancy Allen
White Collar' is a show about the unlikely pairing of an FBI agent and an ex-con solving smart, glamorous, interesting and provocative crimes in a sometimes very funny way. — Tim DeKay
Greg Gutfeld is funnier than all the smart people I know, and smarter than all the funny people I know. I don't know what that makes him. But one of the smartest, funniest people I know, is fair to say. — Matt Labash
My theory is that there is a finite amount of intelligence in a family, and you're supposed to gradually transfer it to your children over a period of many years. This is why your parents started to get so stupid just at the time in your life when you were getting really smart. — Dave Barry
I want to be with you as much as possible, Ronnie. You're smart and funny and you're honest. I trust you. I trust us. Yeah, I'm leaving and you're going back home. But neither of those things changes the way I feel about you. And my feelings aren't going to change simply because I'm going to Vanderbilt. I love you more than I've ever loved anyone. — Nicholas Sparks
I don't want to be a facilitator for other funny people. It doesn't seem smart for me to be in a comedy and not be funny. My spirit can't take it. — Sarah Silverman
Barbara Ehrenreich is smart, provocative, funny, and sane in a world that needs more of all four. — Diane Sawyer
Just when you thought the mafia novel was dead, Tod Goldberg breathes new life into it. Gangsterland, the best mafia novel in years, is a dark, funny, and smart page-turning crime story. It's also a moving, thoughtful meditation on ethics, religion, family, and a culture that eats itself. I loved this book. — Sara Gran
I'm too young, too smart and too good-looking to die. — Sherrilyn Kenyon
Infatuation is when you think that he's as sexy as Robert Redford, as smart as Henry Kissinger, as noble as Ralph Nader, as funny as Woody Allen, and as athletic as Jimmy Conners. Love is when you realize that he's as sexy as Woody Allen, as smart as Jimmy Conners, as funny as Ralph Nader, as athletic as Henry Kissinger, and nothing like Robert Redford--but you'll take him anyway. — Judith Viorst
I'm smart and I can be really funny and interesting and I can go toe-to-toe with anybody in a conversation. — Megan Fox
People who are funny and smart and return phone calls get much better press than people who are just funny and smart. — Howard Simons
Billy Tauzin is one of the most interesting people in Washington. He is smart, funny, and interesting. — Tucker Carlson
No matter how popular you are as a stand-up - you can go out and fill a 10,000-seat arena and be smart and funny - it's delicate to host an awards show and know where your place is and know that it's not about you, that it's about the people who are nominated, and respect that, but at the same time have your moment to show them who you are. — Ellen DeGeneres
Diane Keaton is good for women in and of herself. She's smart and funny and real. — Gloria Steinem
Justice Scalia and I served together on the D.C. Circuit. So his votes are not surprising to me. What I like about him is that he's very funny and very smart. — Ruth Bader Ginsburg
Here`s a guy who says he`s a great businessman. But it seems like a lot of Trump's business is built around stiffing small businesses and workers out of what he owes them, work they`ve done. He thinks that`s cute or smart or funny to basically not pay somebody who`s done work for him and say go ahead and sue me because I`ve got more money than you and you can`t do anything about it. — Barack Obama
I've been waiting years to have a conversation with Franchesa [Ramsey]! She's so funny and wicked smart. So that's really going to be the experience it's going to intelligent, layered, and hilarious. — Michaela Angela Davis
Bill Prady and Chuck Lorre, the guys who run that show [Big Bang Theory], are really funny and really smart, and the cast is fantastic to work with. — Brent Spiner
I was in the recording studio when Pink was recording for a part of the gay rights anthem. It was just amazing to watch her perform. She's just such an incredible singer. She so funny, and so smart, yet she's doing it for this silly, silly song. — Judd Apatow
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