A sense of humor is just common sense dancing. — William James
When a thing is funny, search it carefully for a hidden truth. — George Bernard Shaw
I'm funny how, I mean funny like I'm a clown? — Joe Pesci
Reason is so unreasonable, that few people can say they are in possession of it. — Lord Byron
Laughter is one of the very privileges of reason, being confined to the human species. — Thomas Carlyle
A sense of humor is a measurement of the extent to which we realize that we are trapped in a world almost totally devoid of reason. Laughter is how we express the anxiety we feel at this knowledge. — Dave Barry
A reasonable man adjusts himself to the world. An unreasonable man expects the world to adjust itself to him. Therefore all progress is made by unreasonable people. — Confucius
I'm funny on camera sometimes. In life, once in a while. Once in a while. — Gene Wilder
Common sense and a sense of humor are the same thing, moving at different speeds. A sense of humor is just common sense, dancing. — William James
Reason is a supple nymph, and slippery as a fish by nature. She had as leave give her kiss to an absurdity any day, as to syllogistic truth. The absurdity may turn out truer. — D. H. Lawrence
The most exciting phrase to hear in science, the one that heralds new discoveries, is not 'Eureka!' but 'That's funny...' — Isaac Asimov
Humor is something that thrives between man's aspirations and his limitations. There is more logic in humor than in anything else. Because, you see, humor is truth. — Victor Borge
Short Funny Reasonable Quotes
Reason has always existed, but not always in a reasonable form. — Karl Marx
Comedy is simply a funny way of being serious. — Peter Ustinov
Life is funny and it is interesting how we make it as serious as possible. — Elisha Cuthbert
Sometimes, when you want to laugh, reality steps in. — Ice Cube
There are some things so serious you have to laugh at them. — Niels Bohr
To thrive in life you need three bones. A wishbone. A backbone. And a funny bone.
Being broke is a joke, I never found it funny / That's why I count my blessings / As much as I count my money... — Fabolous
A loving relationship is one in which the loved one is free to be himself -- to laugh with me, but never at me; to cry with me, but never because of me; to love life, to love himself, to love being loved. Such a relationship is based upon freedom and can never grow in a jealous heart — Leo Buscaglia
I consider myself a crayon... I may not be your favorite color but one day you'll need me to complete your picture. — Lauryn Hill
Isn't it funny how day by day nothing changes, but when you look back everything is different.
A good speech should be like a woman's skirt: long enough to cover the subject and short enough to create interest — Winston Churchill
There is no such thing as bad whiskey. Some whiskeys just happen to be better than others. But a man shouldn't fool with booze until he's fifty; then he's a damn fool if he doesn't. — William Faulkner
Politicians and diapers must be changed often, and for the same reason. — Mark Twain
A friend is someone who knows the song in your heart, and can sing it back to you when you have forgotten the words. — Donna Roberts
Funny Quotes
As I hurtled through space, one thought kept crossing my mind - every part of this rocket was supplied by the lowest bidder. — John Glenn
Whoever drinks beer, he is quick to sleep; whoever sleeps long, does not sin; whoever does not sin, enters Heaven! Thus, let us drink beer! — Martin Luther
Instead of past, present and future, I'd prefer chocolate, vanilla, and strawberry. — Ashleigh Brilliant
You will find that it is necessary to let things go; simply for the reason that they are heavy.
Never argue with stupid people, they will drag you down to their level and then beat you with experience. — Mark Twain
I came from a big family. As a matter of fact, I never got to sleep alone until I was married. — Lewis Grizzard
Expecting the world to treat you fairly because you are a good person is a little like expecting the bull not to attack you because you are a vegetarian. — Dennis Wholey
Forget all the reasons why it won't work and believe the one reason it will.
Destiny may ride with us today, but there is no reason for it to interfere with lunch. — Peter The Great
We’re all a little weird. And life is a little weird. And when we find someone whose weirdness is compatible with ours, we join up with them and fall into mutually satisfying weirdness — and call it love — true love. — Robert Fulghum
When I die, I want to die like my grandfather who died peacefully in his sleep. Not screaming like all the passengers in his car. — Will Rogers
Having sex is like playing bridge. If you don't have a good partner, you'd better have a good hand. — Woody Allen
You Are My Reason Quotes
I love you. I am who I am because of you. You are every reason, every hope, and every dream I've ever had, and no matter what happens to us in the future, everyday we are together is the greatest day of my life. I will always be yours. — Nicholas Sparks
My rule is, when you are unhappy, think about it. But when you're happy, don't. Why spoil it? You're probably happy for some ridiculous reason and you'd just spoil it to know it. — Richard P. Feynman
I became a larger than life figure for one reason only. When you're quoted in the 'Wall Street Journal,' the 'New York Times,' constantly as the expert in the business people assume you're a lot bigger than you are. And then I had to run like hell to catch up with my own image. — Barbara Corcoran
Celebrate the people in your life who are there because they love you for no other reason than because you are you.
There are as many reasons for running as there are days in the year, years in my life. But mostly I run because I am an animal and a child, an artist and a saint. So, too, are you. Find your own play, your own self-renewing compulsion, and you will become the person you are meant to be. — George Sheehan
There are as many reasons for running as there are days in the year, years in my life. But mostly I run because I am an animal and a child, an artist and a saint. So, too, are you. Find your own play, your own self-renewing compulsion, and you will become the person you are meant to be. — George A. Sheehan
Growing up going to Christian school and the concept that you're born a sinner and you don't really have a choice to change who you are has been hammered into my head and created the entire reason why I made art and made a band and made records called 'Antichrist Superstar.' — Marilyn Manson
I tried to be normal once. Worst to minutes of my life.
The reason it hurts so much to separate is because our souls are connected. — Nicholas Sparks
You are every reason, every hope and every dream I've ever had. — Nicholas Sparks
I've never had a moment's doubt. I love you. I believe in you completely. You are my dearest one. My reason for life. — Ian McEwan
My brethren, the reason why you have not got contentment in the things of the world is not because you have not got enough of them-that is not the reason-but the reason is, because they are not things proportionable to that immortal soul of yours that is capable of God himself. — Jeremiah Burroughs
You Are The Reason Quotes
Some problems we share as women, some we do not. You [white women] fear your children will grow up to join the patriarchy and testify against you; we fear our children will be dragged from a car and shot down in the street, and you will turn your backs on the reasons they are dying. — Audre Lorde
Haters are just confused admirers because they can't figure out the reason why everyone loves you. — Jeffree Star
People bullshit and fakeness are the main reasons why I like to be alone. — Megan Fox
A child can teach an adult three things: To be happy for no reason, to always be curious, to fight tirelessly for something.
You are not a powerless speck of dust drifting around in the wind...we are, each of us, like beautiful snowflakes-unique, and born for a specific reason and purpose. — Elisabeth Kubler-Ross
There are Millions of people in this world. Then why are you born? The reason is, Allah is expecting something from you, which is not possible by Millions. — Shahid Afridi
Here's all you have to know about men and women: women are crazy, men are stupid. And the main reason women are crazy is that men are stupid. — George Carlin
We met for a reason, either you're a blessing or a lesson.
Do not believe a thing because you have read about it in a book. Do not believe a thing because another man has said it was true. Do not believe in words because they are hallowed by tradition. Find out the truth for yourself. Reason it out. That is realization. — Swami Vivekananda
Whether you're thinking about trying a fasting system for preventive reasons or as a treatment, the doctor should be involved, there are many factors that must be considered, like your current diet, or whether you have diabetes or a metabolic disorder. — Valter Longo
None of us are going to fix governance; it may just be beyond repair. But you can fix capitalism. And the reason you can fix capitalism - It is inherently numerical, and as a result, it is inherently objective. It can be done objectively. — Chamath Palihapitiya
To face the realities of our lives is not a reason for despair-despair is a tool of your enemies. Facing the realities of our lives gives us motivation for action. For you are not powerless... You know why the hard questions must be asked. It is not altruism, it is self-preservation-survival. — Audre Lorde
I’m not a religious person; I would call myself an atheist. I don’t have a good story behind it, I’m just reasonable. — Anthony Jeselnik
The future belongs to those who give the next generation reason for hope. — Pierre Teilhard de Chardin
Before you quit remember why you started.
One reason so few of us achieve what we truly want is that we never direct our focus; we never concentrate our power. Most people dabble their way through life, never deciding to master anything in particular. — Tony Robbins
The only reason why you were WWE Champion for a year, is because Triple H didn't want to work Tuesdays. — Paul Heyman
Yes, we do defend our office as we do defend our homes. This is a constitutional right everybody has, and nothing's funny about that. The only reason they get mad at the Black Panther Party when you do it is for the simple reason that we're political. — Fred Hampton
Friendship is love minus sex and plus reason. Love is friendship plus sex minus reason — Mason Cooley
I like liquor - its taste and its effects - and that is just the reason why I never drink it. — Stonewall Jackson
There is a good reason they call these ceremonies 'commencement exercises'. Graduation is not the end; it's the beginning. — Orrin Hatch
My father was a really funny guy. He lived a good long life. And he was the reason I wanted to be funny and become a comedian and a comedy writer, so to say that he's somewhat of a mythic figure in my life would be an understatement. — Carol Leifer
The disc, being flat, has no real horizon. Any adventurous sailor who got funny ideas from staring at eggs and oranges for too long and set out for the antipodes soon learned that the reason why distant ships sometimes looked as though they were disappearing over the edge of the world was that they were disappearing over the edge of the world. — Terry Pratchett
One good reason to only maintain a small circle of friends is that three out of four murders are committed by people who know the victim. — George Carlin
I've climbed with some of the best climbers in the world, more importantly, to me, they are some of the best people in the world. That's another reason why I climb. — Jim Wickwire
There's a reason it's called 'girls gone wild' and not 'women gone wild'. When girls go wild, they show their tits. When women go wild, they kill men and drown their kids in a tub. — Louis C. K.
It stands to reason that we love chocolate cake because it is sweet. Guys go for girls like this because they are sexy. We adore babies because they're so cute. And, of course, we are amused by jokes because they are funny. This is all backwards. It is. And Darwin shows us why. — Daniel Dennett
There's a thousand reasons why I shouldn't drink... but I can't think of one right now. — Shemp Howard
I can be reasonably funny and light-hearted when I'm in the company of good friends, but I'm not a jokesmith. I tend to be quite serious. — Rowan Atkinson
The only reason I'd ever get a sex change operation is to see what it's like to be right all the time. — Brian Wilson
If you assume you haven't learned anything yet, there's no reason your playing can't stay dynamic all your life. — Jerry Garcia
Eighty is when you order a steak and the headwaiter puts it through the blender. Or when you wake up as many times during the night as Burt Reynolds, but not for the same reason. — Bob Hope
There are only two reasons to sit in the back row of an airplane: Either you have diarrhea, or you're anxious to meet people who do. — Henry A. Kissinger
It stands to reason that we love chocolate cake because it is sweet. Guys go for girls like this because they are sexy. We adore babies because they're so cute. And, of course, we are amused by jokes because they are funny. This is all backwards. It is. And Darwin shows us why. — Dan Dennett
Science is like sex: sometimes something useful comes out, but that is not the reason we are doing it — Richard P. Feynman
A dog is one of the remaining reasons why some people can be persuaded to go for a walk. — Orlando Aloysius Battista
All illegal narcotics are medicinal. Boredom is a disease worse than cancer. Drugs cure it, with little or no side effects if used as directed. Life's temporary for a reason, it gets boring after awhile. You should be inventing new drugs is what you should be doing! Newer, crazier drugs... and more holes, that's what you ladies need! — Doug Stanhope
My favorite animal is the turtle. The reason is that in order for the turtle to move, it has to stick its neck out. — Ruth Westheimer
Mathematics consists in proving the most obvious thing in the least obvious way. — George Polya
Vanity, revenge, loneliness, boredom, all apply: lust is one of the least of the reasons for promiscuity. — Mignon McLaughlin
The reason old man use Viagra is not that they are impotent. It's that old women are so very ugly. — Jimmy Carr
The main reason women are crazy, is that men are stupid. — George Carlin
We can always find something to be thankful for, and there may be reasons why we ought to be thankful for even those dispensations which appear dark and frowning. — Albert C. Barnes
Volleyball anchored me at a time in my life when I needed it. It gave me a reason for being this big, big girl. — Gabrielle Reece
The reason why so few marriages are happy is because young ladies spend their time in making nets, not in making cages. — Jonathan Swift
For some strange reason, no matter where I go, the place is always called "here". — Ashleigh Brilliant
My brain is very simple. Like when you break everything down. I see things in a simple way. And that simplicity for some reason becomes funny to other people because they don't look at it that way. — Carlos Mencia
The Common Law of England has been laboriously built about a mythical figure-the figure of 'The Reasonable Man'. — A. P. Herbert
Insanity destroys reason, but not wit. — Nathanael Emmons
I think the reason Jesus is so popular, just on a celebrity level, is that he died at the peak of his career. — Marc Maron
The chief reason for drinking is the desire to behave in a certain way, and to be able to blame it on alcohol. — Mignon McLaughlin
Familiarity breeds contempt. How accurate that is. The reason we hold truth in such respect is because we have so little opportunity to get familiar with it. — Mark Twain
I am eternally grateful for my knack of finding in great books, some of them very funny books, reason enough to feel honored to be alive, no matter what else might be going on. — Kurt Vonnegut
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