I'm a politician, and as you know, politicians are rarely very funny. — Nicola Sturgeon
Having a comic in the White House will assure stability in foreign relations. The world will continue to respond to foreign initiatives by saying, 'You must be joking.' — Pat Paulsen
Humor is perhaps a sense of intellectual perspective: an awareness that some things are really important, others not; and that the two kinds are most oddly jumbled in everyday affairs. — Christopher Morley
Humor and knowledge are the two great hopes of our culture. — Konrad Lorenz
Short Political Humor Quotes
Bad humor is an evasion of reality; good humor is an acceptance of it. — Malcolm Muggeridge
Humor is just another defense against the universe. — Mel Brooks
A sense of humor is just common sense dancing. — William James
A farce, or slapstick humor, does well universally. — John Ratzenberger
Humor is mankind's greatest blessing. — Mark Twain
Humor is always based on a modicum of truth. Have you ever heard a joke about a father-in-law? — Dick Clark
Humor is emotional chaos remembered in tranquility. — James Thurber
When there's no girls around, there's humor. — Joe Gatto
Political Humor Image Quotes
Every time you find some humor in a difficult situation, you win.
What Is Political Humor Quotes
The best way to give advice to your children is to find out what they want and then advise them to do it. — Harry S. Truman
If you think health care is expensive now, wait until you see what it costs when it's free. — P. J. O'Rourke
The only thing I know about Slovakia is what I learned first-hand from your foreign minister, who came to Texas. — George W. Bush
Every time you are able to find some humor in a difficult situation, you win.
What I am against is quotas. I am against hard quotas, quotas they basically delineate based upon whatever. However they delineate, quotas, I think vulcanize society. So I don't know how that fits into what everybody else is saying, their relative positions, but that's my position. — George W. Bush
The point is, this is a way to help inoculate me about what has come and is coming. — George W. Bush
This is what I'm good at. I like meeting people, my fellow citizens, I like interfacing with them. — George W. Bush
When words are both true and kind they can change the world.
Well, that's going to be up to the pundits and the people to make up their mind. I'll tell you what is a president for him, for example, talking about my record in the state of Texas. I mean, he's willing to say anything in order to convince people that I haven't had a good record in Texas. — George W. Bush
They said, "You know, this issue doesn't seem to resignate with the people." And I said, you know something? Whether it resignates or not doesn't matter to me, because I stand for doing what's the right thing, and what the right thing is hearing the voices of people who work. — George W. Bush
Our plan will not favor religious institutions over nonreligious institutions. As president, I'm interested in what is constitutional and I'm interested in what works. — George W. Bush
Both conservatives and liberals watch 'Parks and Recreation,' and they each think the show is for them, which is really cool. 'SNL' was totally different. It was exciting because everyone was paying attention. Political humor works when people know what you're talking about. — Amy Poehler
Politics Funny Quotes
The duty of a patriot is to protect his country from its government. — Edward Abbey
A businessman cannot force you to buy his product; if he makes a mistake, he suffers the consequences; if he fails, he takes the loss. If bureaucrat makes a mistake, you suffer the consequences; if he fails, he passes the loss on to you. — Ayn Rand
You can change your wife, your politics, your religion, but never, never can you change your favourite football team. — Eric Cantona
Never miss a good chance to shut up.
Politicians and diapers must be changed often, and for the same reason. — Mark Twain
In America, anyone can become president. That's the problem. — George Carlin
I prefer someone who burns the flag and then wraps themselves up in the Constitution over someone who burns the Constitution and then wraps themselves up in the flag. — Molly Ivins
Be gentle with yourself, you're doing the best you can.
To be sure of hitting the target, shoot first, and call whatever you hit the target — Ashleigh Brilliant
I think the Republican party should be placed in drydock and have the barnacles scraped off its bottom. — Tallulah Bankhead
A drug is not bad. A drug is a chemical compound. The problem comes in when people who take drugs treat them like a license to behave like an asshole. — Frank Zappa
As we go from Abraham Lincoln to Theodore Roosevelt to Mitt Romney, I now understand why the Republicans don't believe in evolution. — Andy Borowitz
Political Jokes Quotes
There are three things I have learned never to discuss with people...religion, politics and the Great Pumpkin! — Charles M. Schulz
If your regime is not strong enough to handle a joke, then you don't have a regime. — Jon Stewart
I like a President who tells jokes instead of appointing them. — Bob Hope
There is no such thing as public opinion. There is only published opinion.
New opinions often appear first as jokes and fancies, then as blasphemies and treason, then as questions open to discussion, and finally as established truths. — George Bernard Shaw
To me, racist jokes are not funny. I am politically correct, in a weird way. I like to push the boundaries that are politically correct. — John Waters
Be the person your dog thinks you are.
I understand what a normal political speech is. You get up there, tell a few jokes, you have the flags behind you, and you speak for 10 or 15 minutes in broad generalities. — Bernie Sanders
Reagan was an exceedingly likeable guy, just a heck of a nice fellow, despite his politics. He was funny and loved a good joke, the dirtier, I'm afraid the more ethnic, the better. I don't think he brought very much to the presidency, except charisma and success. — Walter Cronkite
To joke in the face of danger is the supreme politeness, a delicate refusal to cast oneself as a tragic hero. — Edmond Rostand
It's important to remember that life is a joke, and that outlook grants a lot of perspective, but I don't think comedy should change and become political due to other things. It should just laugh at that cosmic joke that life is all the time. — John Mulaney
Political Satire Quotes
Charlie Hebdo: Satire was the father of true political freedom, born in the 18th century; the scourge of bigots and tyrants. Sing its praises. — Simon Schama
Satire is used for political purposes all the time, but obviously there's a time and a place. I think in the current climate, it can be very difficult to speak your mind, but sometimes, I believe, we're all in danger and I think this discussion needs to be widened. — George Michael
On July 4 we celebrate government of the people, by the people, and for the people, or as they are now called, corporations. — Andy Borowitz
Treat everyone with politeness and kindness, not because they are nice, but because you are.
You can judge the moral bearing of a political system, a political institution, a political man by the degree of danger they attach to the fact of being observed through the eyes of a satiric poet. — Roque Dalton
Satire is fascinating stuff. It's deadly serious, and when politics begin to break down, there is a drift towards satire, because it's the only thing that makes any sense. — Ben Nicholson
I never wanted to do political satire because it seems too surface to me. — Tracey Ullman
The stronger you become, the gentler you will be.
Gradually compositions make an appearance again. Political - satirical - conceits expressed in one figure or a few. — Paul Klee
American political culture quickly and always outpaces any attempt to satirize it. — Glenn Greenwald
A lot of political music to me can be rather pedantic and corny, and when it's done right - like Bruce Springsteen or Jackson Browne or great satire from Randy Newman, there's nothing better. — Bonnie Raitt
I think up until the point when we started in the business, which was in the early '70s, most of the humor was political. The smart humor was political satire. — David Zucker
Religious Humor Quotes
The less Holy Spirit we have, the more cake and coffee we need to keep the church going. — Reinhard Bonnke
Going to church doesn't make you a Christian any more than going to a garage makes you an automobile. — Billy Sunday
It is dangerous to be right in matters where established men are wrong. — Voltaire
Being polite is so rare these days, thats its often confused with flirting.
I asked God for a bike, but I know God doesn't work that way. So I stole a bike and asked for forgiveness. — Emo Philips
I’m not a religious person; I would call myself an atheist. I don’t have a good story behind it, I’m just reasonable. — Anthony Jeselnik
The fact that a believer is happier than a skeptic is no more to the point than the fact that a drunken man is happier than a sober one. — George Bernard Shaw
Treat everyone with politeness, even those who are rude to you - not because they are nice, ut because you are.
Religion is like a pair of shoes.....Find one that fits for you, but don't make me wear your shoes. — George Carlin
The church is like manure. Pile it up, and it stinks up the neighborhood. Spread it out, and it enriches the world. — Luis Palau
I sincerely believe that the collective efforts of many secularists during the past generation, resulting in the expulsion from our schools and from the public square, has left us vulnerable. — Jerry Falwell
Dark Humor Quotes
A good laugh overcomes more difficulties and dissipates more dark clouds than any other one thing. — Laura Ingalls Wilder
No! Try not. Do, or do not. There is no try. — George Lucas
I am a candid interview and I have a dark and dry sense of humor - a very Canadian sense of humor and I am only learning now stupidly that you can't read tongue. When I say something funny in a newspaper and I meant it to be funny, it doesn't read that way. — Michael Buble
A man's subconscious self is not the ideal companion. It lurks for the greater part of his life in some dark den of its own, hidden away, and emerges only to taunt and deride and increase the misery of a miserable hour. — P. G. Wodehouse
Dark humor appealed to me because it was a bigger laugh than you could get with anything else. Seeing people laugh at something inappropriate with their whole bodies, a guttural, visceral laugh beyond a mere "hah." — Anthony Jeselnik
A big part of the humor is in identifying with the tragic elements of the film. The New Zealand sense of humor is very dark. Our films are usually very dark and it's always someone being killed. Usually a child. — Taika Waititi
Our records, if you have a dark sense of humor, were funny, but our records weren't about comedy. They were about protests, fantasy, confrontation and all that. — Ice Cube
I envy people that know love. That have someone who takes them as they are. — Jess C Scott
Remember that every guilty compliance with the humors of the world, every sinful indulgence of our own passions, is laying up cares and fears for the hour of darkness; and that the remembrance of ill-spent time will strew our sick-bed with thorns, and rack our sinking spirits with despair. — Reginald Heber
If you find it hard to laugh at yourself, I would be happy to do it for you. — Groucho Marx
There's gon' be some stuff you gon' see
that's gon' make it hard to smile in the future.
But through whatever you see,
through all the rain and the pain,
you gotta keep your sense of humor.
You gotta be able to smile through all this bullshit.
Remember that. — Tupac Shakur
Nonsense wakes up the brain cells. And it helps develop a sense of humor, which is awfully important in this day and age. Humor has a tremendous place in this sordid world. It's more than just a matter of laughing. If you can see things out of whack, then you can see how things can be in whack. — Dr. Seuss
Life has three rules: Paradox, Humor, and Change. - Paradox: Life is a mystery; don't waste your time trying to figure it out. - Humor: Keep a sense of humor, especially about yourself. It is a strength beyond all measure - Change: Know that nothing ever stays the same. — Dan Millman
I would say that I'm a nonviolent soldier. In place of weapons of violence, you have to use your mind, your heart, your sense of humor, every faculty available to you...because no one has the right to take the life of another human being. — Joan Baez
Good planning is important. I've also regarded a sense of humor as one of the most important things on a big expedition. When you're in a difficult or dangerous situation, or when you're depressed about the chances of success, someone who can make you laugh eases the tension. — Edmund Hillary
Confidence is at the root of so many attractive qualities - a sense of humor, a sense of style, a willingness to be who you are no matter what anyone else might think or say. — Wentworth Miller
'Understanding' art is like having a sense of humour - if you don't have one, no amount of explanation is going to make you laugh. — Michael Craig-Martin
Whatever you see you gotta keep a sense of humor; you gotta be able to smile through all the bullshit. — Tupac Shakur
Common sense and a sense of humor are the same thing, moving at different speeds. A sense of humor is just common sense, dancing. — William James
Writing Humor Quotes
A poem is never finished, only abandoned. — Paul Valery
If at first you don't succeed, destroy all evidence that you tried. — Steven Wright
At the risk of appearing disingenuous, I don't really think of myself as 'writing humor.' I'm simply reporting on the world I observe, which is frequently hilarious. — Richard Russo
He writes so well he makes me feel like putting my quill back in my goose. — Fred Allen
Based on what you know about him in history books, what do you think Abraham Lincoln would be doing if he were alive today? 1) Writing his memoirs of the Civil War. 2) Advising the President. 3) Desperately clawing at the inside of his coffin. — David Letterman
I think people appreciate a songwriter who shows different sides. The whole angst thing is cool, but if that's all you've got, it's just boring. Everything I write, whether it's happy or sad, has a sense of humor to it. — Katy Perry
A writer's voice is not character alone, it is not style alone; it is far more. A writer's voice line the stroke of an artist's brush- is the thumbprint of her whole person- her idea, wit, humor, passions, rhythms. — Patricia Lee Gauch
Just tell the truth, and they'll accuse you of writing black humor. — Charles Willeford
Whenever I'm out of town for at least a week, I feel like I should write a postcard or something, but you can be a genius, you try and write a postcard you come across like a moron anyway: 'This city's got big buildings. I like food. Bye.' — Jim Gaffigan
That's what I love about sketch comedy: a sketch is five minutes, then it goes dark, and there's the potential for something else. — Jason Sudeikis
I like dark comedies. That's why I like the Wayans Brothers. — Zach Galifianakis
I think that crowdfunding has become such a powerful tool to tell stories that might not find financing otherwise - like a dark comedy about infidelity, for example! — Kit Williamson
I like very dry humor. I dont like things that are over the top. I like subtlety. I like things that are nonchalant. I like characters that are sort of monotone and based in dark comedy. — Emily Rios
I'm not interested in parts where they are looking for a good-looking guy. I want to be a weird little sidekick in a crazy comedy and then play like a dark drama or a thriller. — Alexander Skarsgard
Heavy role in the movies that I've done that I have loved and fit my soul; A Simple Plan, Monster's Ball, Sling Blade, One False Move, Bad Santa even. I mean Bad Santa is a comedy, and it's a very dark comedy, and it's become like iconic, you know. — Billy Bob Thornton
Black Comedy is a farce that is played in the dark, as you know, with the lights full on. It's the Chinese convention of reversing light and dark, and exactly where anybody is at any given moment is the play. — Peter Shaffer
Dark comedy is very difficult. You have to bring the audience in and push them away at the same time. — Pierce Brosnan
I tend to find comedy in dark places. I also tend to find comedy in taking on the status quo - which has always been something I find important. — Tom Green
People hit the sauce in a big way all winter. Amidst blizzards they wrestle unsuccessfully with the dark comedy of their lives, laughter trapped in their frigid gizzards. Meanwhile, the mercury just plummets, like a migrating duck blasted out of the sky by some hunter in a cap with fur earflaps. — Amy Gerstler
Good Humor Quotes
Having sex is like playing bridge. If you don't have a good partner, you'd better have a good hand. — Woody Allen
There is a planet named Pluto, but we don't have one named Goofy. Goofy would be a good name for this planet. It certainly qualifies. — Sayings
When others kid me about being bald, I simply tell them that the way I figure it, the good Lord only gave men so many hormones, and if others want to waste theirs on growing hair, that's up to them. — John Glenn
What a newspaper needs in its news, in its headlines, and on its editorial page is terseness, humor, descriptive power, satire, originality, good literary style, clever condensation and accuracy, accuracy, accuracy. — Joseph Pulitzer
Practically speaking, a life that is vowed to simplicity, appropriate boldness, good humor, gratitude, unstinting work and play, and lots of walking, brings us close to the actually existing world and its wholeness. — Gary Snyder
I am content in my later years. I have kept my good humor and take neither myself nor the next person seriously. — Albert Einstein
A minister of state is excusable for the harm he does when the helm of government has forced his hand in a storm; but in the calm he is guilty of all the good he does not do. — Voltaire
Honest good humor is the oil and wine of a merry meeting, and there is no jovial companionship equal to that where the jokes are rather small and laughter abundant. — Washington Irving
My dad was a complicated man. He was a huge racist, my dad, but he still tried to be a good father, you know? Like, he would tell me that Santa Claus was black - that way, when I found out he didn't exist, it wouldn't be that big a let down. — Anthony Jeselnik
I hate reality but it's still the best place to get a good steak. — Woody Allen
No man's life, liberty, or property are safe while the legislature is in session. — Mark Twain
Subversive, ethical, ecological, political, humorous ... this is how I see my duty as a designer. — Philippe Starck
Politics: Poli a Latin word meaning many and tics meaning bloodsucking creatures. — Robin Williams
Political correctness is tyranny with manners. — Charlton Heston
Few things are more irritating than when someone who is wrong is also very effective in making his point. — Mark Twain
I can see how it might be possible for a man to look down upon the earth and be an atheist, but I cannot conceive how a man could look up into the heavens and say there is no God. — Abraham Lincoln
I mean, there needs to be a wholesale effort against racial profiling, which is illiterate children. — George W. Bush
This crusade, this war on terrorism is going to take a while. — George W. Bush
If you want a friend in Washington, buy a dog. — Harry S. Truman
I believe Ronald Reagan can make this country what it once was... an Arctic region covered with ice. — Steve Martin
A republican stands up in congress and says 'I GOT A REALLY BAD IDEA!!' and the democrat stands up after him and says 'AND I CAN MAKE IT SHITTIER!! — Lewis Black
When you have an efficient government, you have a dictatorship. — Harry S. Truman
Let me put it to you this way, I am not a revengeful person. — George W. Bush
In truth, politeness is artificial good humor, it covers the natural want of it, and ends by rendering habitual a substitute nearly equivalent to the real virtue. — Thomas Jefferson
This administration is doing everything we can to end the stalemate in an efficient way. We're making the right decisions to bring the solution to an end. — George W. Bush
Every government interference in the economy consists of giving an unearned benefit, extorted by force, to some men at the expense of others. — Ayn Rand
The only difference between a tax man and a taxidermist is that the taxidermist leaves the skin. — Mark Twain
I am mindful of the difference between the executive branch and the legislative branch. I assured all four of these leaders that I know the difference, and that difference is they pass the laws and I execute them. — George W. Bush
If affirmative action means what I just described, what I'm for, then I'm for it. — George W. Bush
Any man who is under 30, and is not a liberal, has no heart; and any man who is over 30, and is not a conservative, has no brains. — Winston Churchill
I understand small business growth. I was one. — George W. Bush
Will the highways on the Internet become more few? — George W. Bush
The most important job is not to be governor, or first lady in my case. — George W. Bush
The gift of truth excels all other gifts. — Buddha
Tax reform means, "Don't tax you, don't tax me. Tax that fellow behind the tree." — Russell B. Long
I come from a long ago era where men could be men and stereotypical humor didn't offend anybody. — Rush Limbaugh
The political and commercial morals of the United States are not merely food for laughter, they are an entire banquet. — Mark Twain
I'm all in favor of keeping dangerous weapons out of the hands of fools. Let's start with typewriters. — David Gerrold
Well, I think if you say you're going to do something and don't do it, that's trustworthiness. — George W. Bush
A modest ring at the bell at length allayed her fears, and Miss Benton, hurrying into her own room and shutting herself up, in order that she might preserve that appearance of being taken by surprise which is so essential to the polite reception of visitors, awaited their coming with a smiling countenance. — Charles Dickens
I think we agree, THE PAST IS OVER. — George W. Bush
Reading is the basics for all learning. — George W. Bush
God told me to strike at al Qaeda and I struck them, and then he instructed me to strike at Saddam [Hussein], which I did, and now I am determined to solve the problem in the Middle East. If you help me I will act, and if not, the elections will come and I will have to focus on them. — George W. Bush
The woman who knew that I had dyslexia - I never interviewed her. — George W. Bush
And, when the votes are counted, let everybody, including the candidates, get into a good humor as quick as they got into a bad one. — Will Rogers
There's no such thing as legacies. At least, there is a legacy, but I'll never see it. — George W. Bush
There's no question that the minute I got elected, the storm clouds on the horizon were getting nearly directly overhead. — George W. Bush
They want the federal government controlling the Social Security, like it's some kind of federal program. — George W. Bush
In Conclusion
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