All I want for my birthday is another birthday. — Ian Dury
Honest good humor is the oil and wine of a merry meeting, and there is no jovial companionship equal to that where the jokes are rather small and laughter abundant. — Washington Irving
Humor is an affirmation of dignity, a declaration of man's superiority to all that befalls him. — Romain Gary
Short Humorous Birthday Quotes
Humor is an affirmation of dignity, a declaration of man's superiority to all that befalls him. — Roman Gary
I can imagine no more comfortable frame of mind for the conduct of life than a humorous resignation. — W. Somerset Maugham
A diplomat is a man who always remembers a woman's birthday but never remembers her age. — Robert Frost
At 50, don't let aging get you down. It's too hard to get back up. Happy 50th birthday. — H. H. Asquith
From our birthday, until we die, Is but the winking of an eye. — William Butler Yeats
Humor is just another defense against the universe. — Mel Brooks
Like a welcome summer rain, humor may suddenly cleanse and cool the earth, the air and you. — Langston Hughes
A sense of humor is just common sense dancing. — William James
Our birthdays are feathers in the broad wing of time. — Jean Paul Richter
I remember when the candle shop burned down. Everyone stood around singing 'Happy Birthday.' — Steven Wright
Humorous Birthday Image Quotes
Every time you find some humor in a difficult situation, you win.
Birthday Humor Quotes
Time may be a great healer, but it's a lousy beautician. — Dorothy Parker
Your True Nature Is Love. There's Nothing You Can Do About It. — Byron Katie
When I turned two I was really anxious, because I'd doubled my age in a year. I thought, if this keeps up, by the time I'm six I'll be ninety. — Steven Wright
Every time you are able to find some humor in a difficult situation, you win.
Life is like a hot bath. It feels good while you're in it, but the longer you stay, the more wrinkled you get. — Jim Davis
People ask me what I'd most appreciate getting for my eighty-seventh birthday. I tell them, a paternity suit. — George Burns
The older we get, the fewer things seem worth waiting in line for. — Will Rogers
Never miss a good chance to shut up.
The worst gift is a fruitcake. There is only one fruitcake in the entire world, and people keep sending it to each other. — Johnny Carson
If you're not getting older, you're dead. — Tom Petty
Some turn to vinegar, but the best improve with age. — C. E. M. Joad
The best way to remember your wife's birthday is to forget it once. — Herbert V. Prochnow
Birthday Wishes Funny Quotes
Happiness is like peeing in your pants. Everyone can see it, but only you can feel the warmth. — Jon Foreman
Whatever with the past has gone, The best is always yet to come. — Lucy Larcom
A birthday is just another day where you go to work and people give you love. Age is just a state of mind, and you are as old as you think you are. You have to count your blessings and be happy. — Abhishek Bachchan
Don't be absurd! Nobody made us! We evolved by chance from snowflakes. ~ Light humor to demonstrate the fact that there is a creator for everything.
I believe in loyalty. When a woman reaches an age she likes, she should stick with it. — Eva Gabor
They tell you that you'll lose your mind when you grow older. What they don't tell you is that you won't miss it very much. — Malcolm Cowley
I'm at an age when my back goes out more than I do. — Phyllis Diller
If you want to look young and thin on your birthday. Hang around a bunch of old fat people. — Anthony
Whoever, in middle age, attempts to realize the wishes and hopes of his early youth, invariably deceives himself. Each ten years of a man's life has its own fortunes, its own hopes, its own desires. — Johann Wolfgang von Goethe
On this special Fathers Day, we'd like to wish all of you a very Happy Birthday. — Ralph Kiner
Birthday Quotes
Count your age by friends, not years. Count your life by smiles, not tears. — John Lennon
Instead of celebrating my birthday, it would be my proud privilege if 5 September is observed as Teachers' Day. — Sarvepalli Radhakrishnan
Why party like it is 1999 when you can party like it is your birthday? — Prince
Be happy in the moment, that's enough. Each moment is all we need, not more. — Mother Teresa
So plant your own gardens and decorate your own soul, instead of waiting for someone to bring you flowers. — Jorge Luis Borges
Because time itself is like a spiral, something special happens on your birthday each year: The same energy that God invested in you at birth is present once again. — Menachem Mendel Schneerson
We turn not older with years but newer every day. — Emily Dickinson
A friend is one of the nicest things you can have, and one of the best things you can be. — Douglas Pagels
Celebrate Birthday Quotes
Youth is the gift of nature, but age is a work of art. — Stanislaw Jerzy Lec
I never really had a celebrity crush when I was little. I know some of my friends have posters up on their bedroom wall; I was never really about that. — Sadie Sink
I don’t care about what nobody say or how nobody feel. I’m happy, I’m living my life, and that’s what it is. — 21 Savage
I stopped going to Kingdom Hall, the church, when I was 11 years old, so I was very young. They don't celebrate birthdays, you get no Christmas, so it's a very difficult religion for children to get into. And they do a lot of finger-pointing among the Jehovah's Witnesses. — Ja Rule
I reflected a lot, I thought a lot on my 50th birthday. It has been one of the most important birthdays in my life, not in terms of celebration but in terms of retrospect. — Rakesh Jhunjhunwala
Cakes are special. Every birthday, every celebration ends with something sweet, a cake, and people remember. It's all about the memories. — Buddy Valastro
Am I ever gonna grow thick skin? No. I just gotta focus on making money. Cause ain’t no going back. I’m gonna be famous forever. — Cardi B
Where is Conor? He wanna fight with a bus. I want to fight with a real gangster. Iaquinta, thank you so much. — Khabib Nurmagomedov
If we celebrate Martin Luther King Jr.'s birthday at a time of presidential inaugurals, this is thanks to Ronald Reagan who created the holiday, and not to the Democratic Congress of the Carter years, which rejected it. — David Horowitz
When Mr. Bilbo Baggins of Bag End announced that he would shortly be celebrating his eleventy-first birthday with a party of special magnificence, there was much talk and excitement in Hobbiton. — J. R. R. Tolkien
Happy Birthday Quotes
A mother's love for her child is like nothing else in the world. It knows no law, no pity, it dares all things and crushes down remorselessly all that stands in its path. — Agatha Christie
Your life is a gift from the Creator. Your gift back to the Creator is what you do with your life. — Billy Mills
Live your life with arms wide open. Today is where your book begins. The rest is still unwritten. — Natasha Bedingfield
But when I look back I can't call myself unlucky. My 23rd birthday was December 14. In these years I have had more than most people get in a lifetime. — Ernie Davis
It is during our darkest moments that we must focus to see the light. — Aristotle Onassis
I was brought up to respect my elders, so now I don't have to respect anybody. — George Burns
Old age is like everything else. To make a success of it, you've got to start young. — Theodore Roosevelt
One can remain alive ... if one is unafraid of change, insatiable in intellectual curiosity interested in big things and happy in small ways. — Edith Wharton
I want to get old gracefully. I want to have good posture, I want to be healthy and be an example to my children. — Sting
Just remember, once you're over the hill you begin to pick up speed. — Arthur Schopenhauer
Maybe it's true that life begins at fifty. But everything else starts to wear out, fall out, or spread out. — Phyllis Diller
To keep the heart unwrinkled, to be hopeful, kindly, cheerful, reverent that is to triumph over old age. — Thomas Bailey Aldrich
Beautiful young people are accidents of nature, but beautiful old people are works of art. — Eleanor Roosevelt
The advantage of being eighty years old is that one has many people to love. — Jean Renoir
Only a few things are really important. — Marie Dressler
The only time you really live fully is from thirty to sixty. The young are slaves to dreams; the old servants of regrets. Only the middle-aged have all their five senses in the keeping of their wits. — Theodore Roosevelt
You are as young as your faith, as old as your doubt; as young as your self-confidence, as old as your fear, as young as your hope, as old as your despair. — Samuel Ullman
I'm going to die very soon. Before my 21st birthday. I won't live to be 21. I'm never going to be old. I don't ever want to be ugly and old. I'm an old lady now anyhow. I'm 80. There's nothing left. I've already lived a whole lifetime. I'm going out. In a blaze of glory. — Nancy Spungen
Birthday Card Quotes
It’s the moment I’ve been waiting for, fighting on the big cards like UFC 200. — Amanda Nunes
Valentine cards and birthday wishes?
Please...be on another level of planning, of understanding
The bond between man and woman and child.
The highest elevation, cause we above
All that romance crap, just show your love. — Method Man
Valentine's Day is a sham created by card companies to reinforce gender stereotypes. [..] I'll buy some cookies, but NOT for Valentine's Day. These cookies celebrate the February 14th birthday of Anna Howard Shaw, famed American suffragette. — Anna Howard Shaw
On Valentine's Day, millions of men give millions of women flowers, cards and candy as a heartfelt expression of the emotion that also motivates men to observe anniversaries and birthdays-fear. — Dave Barry
I saw a birthday card the other day, and it said, "If you didn't know how old you were, how old would you think you were?" I started changing it in my mind right away to, "If you didn't know how sick you were, how sick would you think you were?" — Michael J. Fox
There's nothing funnier than getting a death threat via MySpace. Why don't you just write it in a children's birthday card. — Doug Stanhope
Thank you Dad...
for listening and caring,
for giving and sharing,
but, especially, for just being you!
Happy Birthday to you — John Walter Bratton
I occasionally get birthday cards from fans. But it's often the same message: They hope it's my last. — Al Forman
Don't send funny greeting cards on birthdays or at Christmas. Save them for funerals, when their cheery effect is needed. — P. J. O'Rourke
All three [of my grandkids] earn money around the house, and all three spend their own money. Now I've noticed that when they have to spend their own money on birthday cards, they have decided that homemade cards are so much nicer. — Elizabeth Warren
Birthday Wishes Quotes
Every day, every birthday candle I blow out, every penny I throw over my shoulder in a wishing well, every time my daughter says, 'Let's make a wish on a star,' there's one thing I wish for: wisdom. — Rene Russo
We're sending you best wishes
And hope your day goes well
And that you'll find some memories
With stories you can tell
Of how you had a marvelous time
And those around you too
With fun and lots of laughter
And all this just for you..
Have a Very Happy Birthday — Janet Horne
Joy is that kind of happiness that does not depend on what happens. — David Steindl-Rast
Katrina Kaif is doing very well for herself and I'd like to wish her a very Happy Birthday — Deepika Padukone
If possible, forget the past. Look forward to the future. — Henry Watkins Allen
Thank you for all the birthday wishes, it's brought a tear to my eye, and a boner to my pants. — Jack Barakat
You must become an old man in good time if you wish to be an old man long.
[Lat., Mature fieri senem, si diu velis esses senex.] — Marcus Tullius Cicero
Wishing, like sipping a glass of punch, or pulling aside a bearskin rug in order to access a hidden trapdoor in the floor, is merely a quiet way to spend one's time before the candles are extinguished on one's birthday cake. — Daniel Handler
And once again we wish you All joyous things and more A day that's filled with happiness And memories to store. — Janet Horne
Fly free and happy beyond birthdays and across forever, and we'll meet now and then when we wish, in the midst of the one celebration that never can end. — Richard Bach
Birthday Present Quotes
Something to remember on your birthday..Forget the past, it can't be changed..And, forget the present because I didn't get you one. — Brian Jones
Handmade presents are scary because they reveal that you have too much free time. — Douglas Coupland
I play PC and Xbox games at home, and I just got a PSP as a birthday present. — Uwe Boll
Don't think that even an engineer, when he buys a motor, takes it to bits to scrutinize it. Even he as a specialist buys from the external appearance. A motor ought to look like a birthday present. — Peter Behrens
I'm over the moon to be involved in the 'Doctor Who' Christmas special. I can't quite believe it as it's a part of the family tradition at the Jenkins household. I heard the news that I got the role on my 30th birthday and it was the best birthday present ever. — Katherine Jenkins
In 1993 my birthday present was a star on Hollywood's Walk of Fame. — Annette Funicello
I have no problems with buying tampons. I am a fairly modern man. But apparently they're not a "proper" present. "Happy birthday, mum!" — Jimmy Carr
I hate birthdays, .. It's more like a new starting point in New York. For me, it's an evolution. I don't celebrate the past. I like the present and tomorrow. — Karl Lagerfeld
I never know what to get my father for his birthday. I gave him a hundred dollars and said, 'Buy yourself something that will make your life easier.' So he went out and bought a present for my mother. — Rita Rudner
The best birthday present I ever got was born 10 minutes before I was. — Bill Kaulitz
I intend to live forever. So far, so good. - T-SHIRT — Darynda Jones
At 50, a man can be an ass without being an optimist but not an optimist without being an ass — Mark Twain
Pleas'd look forward, pleas'd to look behind,And count each birthday with a grateful mind. — Alexander Pope
If we could be twice young and twice old we could correct all our mistakes. — Euripides
Why do men like intelligent women? Because opposites attract. — Kathy Lette
My aunt gave me a walkie-talkie for my birthday. She says if I'm good, she'll give me the other one next year. — Steven Wright
She's 80 my nan, what do you want for your birthday? "SHREDDER!! GET ME A SHREDDER!!", what do you want a shredder for? "IDENTITY THEFT!!". — Russell Howard
It's my wife Ruth's birthday soon. I said to her: "What would you like for your birthday?" She said: "I want a divorce." I said: "I wasn't planning on spending that much." — Frank Carson
Of late I appear To have reached that stage When people who look old Who are only my age. — Richard Armour
Pie can't compete with cake. Put candles in a cake, it's a birthday cake. Put candles in a pie, someone's drunk in the kitchen. — Jim Gaffigan
You've heard of the three ages of man - youth, age, and you are looking wonderful. — Francis Spellman
You might be a redneck if you give your dad a gallon of Pepto-Bismol for his birthday. — Jeff Foxworthy
Last year my birthday cake looked like a prairie fire. — Rodney Dangerfield
I like birthdays because we celebrate life with cakes. It's so cool. Sometimes when I see a baby, I'm like that much more cake in the world. But then when someone dies, I'm like the cake streak is over. — Demetri Martin
For my sister's 50th birthday, I sent her a singing mammogram. — Steven Wright
I don't like the whole blowing the candles out ritual... blowing their germs all over the cake. If I want to catch something on my birthday. I don't want it to be from the cake. If you know what I'm saying. — Craig Ferguson
You may be old, you may be in your third act, but you can still be vital and sexual and funny. Life isn't over. — Jane Fonda
I got into stand up just to do stand up because I love stand up. — Demetri Martin
I'm not going to be remotely funny. — Kyra Sedgwick
I'm actually a perpetual 13-year-old. I've never advanced beyond 13. Every day, tomorrow is my 14th birthday. That's my kind of humor. — Terry Crews
Some friends of mine got me a sweater for my birthday. I'd have preferred a moaner or a screamer, but the sweater was OK. — Steven Wright
George: Why've you had a grudge against your brother for 15 years? Benny: We Lopezes are a proud people... George: You have a birthday lunch at Denny's every month. We're not that proud! — George Lopez
People associate long hair with drug use. I wish people associated long hair with something other than drug use, like an extreme longing for cake. And then strangers would see a long haired guy and say, "That guy eats cake!" "He is on bundt cake!" Mothers saying to their daughters, "Don't bring the cake eater over here anymore. He smells like flour. Did you see how excited he got when he found out your birthday was fast approaching?" — Mitch Hedberg
I've had this look for about a year. I usually grow this beard out around Christmas. I like to go to malls dressed as Jesus, and I like to then walk around the mall and go, 'No! No! This wasn't what it was supposed to be about, people!' Then if there's a Santa at the mall, I walk up to him and say, 'Listen, fat man, you're just a clown at my birthday party.' — Marc Maron
Oh, to be seventy again! — Georges Clemenceau
I don't appreciate people who celebrate their dog's birthdays with "dog parties," and then invite their friends who don't even have dogs. I understand why people like dogs, and I think they definitely bring more to the table than cats or those godforsaken ferrets, but I don't think it's healthy for people to treat their dogs like they are real people. — Chelsea Handler
In Conclusion
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