It’s the ultimate pinnacle of stand-up to have an hour on HBO, but way more people see Comedy Central and they’ve been good to me. — Daniel Tosh
Real comedy doesn't just make people laugh and think, but makes them laugh and change. — Sam Kinison
Comedy has to be based on truth. You take the truth and you put a little curlicue at the end. — Sid Caesar
The Internet is a great place to find unconventional comedy that you can't find anywhere else. — Andy Dick
Comedy is simply a funny way of being serious. — Peter Ustinov
Comedy is defiance. It's a snort of contempt in the face of fear and anxiety. And it's the laughter that allows hope to creep back on the inhale. — Will Durst
What is comedy? Comedy is the art of making people laugh without making them puke. — Steve Martin
Without comedy as a defense mechanism I wouldn't be able to survive. — Garry Shandling
We sit in a room, laugh, and all come up with comedy situations, which we work out. Sometimes we cross the line, like getting a guy to pull out of his own wedding while the ceremony's taking place. — Joe Gatto
Late night television is ready for someone like me... standards have gone to an all-time low. — Howard Stern
Especially while television I think is going through some growing pains or is in need of - I think current comedy is a bit, uh, not happening, you know? — Jenna Elfman
In the days of Caesar, kings had fools and jesters. Now network presidents have anchormen. — Ted Koppel
In a late-night monologue, it's not just about being funny; you have to come off as knowledgeable. You have to cultivate a persona of trust and intelligence and likeability. — Anthony Jeselnik
There's sketch, improv, writing, acting, music, and badminton. Those are the seven forms of comedy. — T. J. Miller
Short Comedy Central Quotes
As much experience, education and awareness as one can attain is important for a comedian. — Shelley Berman
This hiatus coming up I'm looking at a comedy because I need the balance. — Khandi Alexander
I think it's the duty of the comedian to find out where the line is drawn and cross it deliberately. — George Carlin
A farce, or slapstick humor, does well universally. — John Ratzenberger
Someone who makes you laugh is a comedian. Someone who makes you think and then laugh is a humorist. — George Burns
Going from drama to just straight-up comedy with Tommy Davidson and Jamie Foxx – what a blast. — Vivica Fox
I provide a little comic relief. — Anthony Anderson
Blonde is dumb comedy, red hair is smart, sexy comedy. — Lisa Kudrow
Comedy Central Image Quotes
Life is a tragedy when seen in close-up, but a comedy in long-shot.
Quotes are for dumb people who can't think of something intelligent to say on their own. — Bo Burnham
Comedy aims at representing men as worse, Tragedy as better than in actual life.
There was never yet an uninteresting life. Such a thing is an impossibility. Inside of the dullest exterior there is a drama, a comedy, and a tragedy. — Mark Twain
There are only three things women need in life: food, water, and compliments. — Chris Rock
A drug is not bad. A drug is a chemical compound. The problem comes in when people who take drugs treat them like a license to behave like an asshole. — Frank Zappa
Play your part in the comedy, but don't identify yourself with your role! — Wei Wu Wei
My roommate says, "I'm going to take a shower and shave. Does anyone need to use the bathroom?" It's like some weird quiz where he reveals the answer first. — Mitch Hedberg
I have some very personal feelings about politics, but I don't get into it because I do comedy already. — Jerry Lewis
Centralized Quotes
From Genesis to Revelation, here's the central message: God Almighty, the Lord Jesus Christ, the Spirit of God, the Triune God is in control of all things, period. — Charles Stanley
I find freedom to be the most important issue facing any human being today, because without freedom, then life is pointless. The more dependent you become on centralized power, the more easily you are lead around. — Russell Means
Extreme taxation, excessive controls, oppressive government competition with business, frustrated minorities and forgotten Americans are not the products of free enterprise. They are the residue of centralized bureaucracy, of government by a self-anointed elite. — Ronald Reagan
While women may look different, as some wear suits and others wear saris, or some cover their hair while others wear their hair loose, women need to stand together because they all face the central point of discrimination, although the extremity of which may be different from Kigali to Kabul. — Zainab Salbi
Democracy can hardly be expected to flourish in societies where political and economic power is being progressively concentrated and centralized. But the progress of technology has led and is still leading to just such a concentration and centralization of power. — Aldous Huxley
The man who puts all the guns and all the decision-making power into the hands of the central government and then says, ‘Limit yourself’; it is he who is truly the impractical utopian. — Murray Rothbard
If I were to search for the central core of difficulty in people as I have come to know them, it is that in the great majority of cases they despise themselves, regarding themselves as worthless and unlovable. — Carl Rogers
A private central bank issuing the public currency is a greater menace to the liberties of the people than a standing army. We must not let our rulers load us with perpetual debt. — Thomas Jefferson
Fluidity and discontinuity are central to the reality in which we live. — Mary Catherine Bateson
Are you really questioning the wisdom of central planning? Because the happy citizens of Cuba and North Korea beg to differ. — Jonathan Gruber
Comedy Clubs Quotes
When I was in third grade I taught myself ventriloquism... What's hard is to learn to be an entertainer and make people laugh. I was a few years out of college before I felt I had enough material. Then in 1988 I moved to L.A. and started to do some shows at comedy clubs. — Jeff Dunham
I was in NYC during 9/11; it happened on a Tuesday, I was on stage Thursday. It was a small crowd, but it took about 10 days and comedy clubs were packed. — Bill Burr
Comedy clubs have brick walls behind the performer. Bricks make you funny. When I'm in front of a fireplace, I'm hilarious. — Mitch Hedberg
I LOVE THE COMEDY CLUBS AND THE CLOSENESS OF THE CROWD. HOWEVER THE MORE YA DO THE BIG ROOMS THEY START TO BECOME YOUR HOME AS WELL AND YOU ADJUST TO THE SURROUNDINGS. I LOVE THEM BOTH. I MISS THE CLUBS BUT THATS WHAT YA WORK FOR TO DO THE BIG ROOMS! — Larry the Cable Guy
Nothing against comedy clubs, they work. But when you're sitting with a tablecloth and a candle and an appetizer menu, three-drink minimum, it can feel more like a dinner theater than a live experience. — Doug Stanhope
If I had to perform in a comedy club I would bomb; I would be trying too hard. — Henry Rollins
Even though I have fond feelings for comedy clubs, I enjoy the focus you get in a theater. Comedy clubs are a different animal. People are being served nachos and there's a blender going off in the background. — Brian Regan
I think the comedy clubs tend to homogenize the acts a little bit, because they force them to be palatable in way too many environments. — Bo Burnham
If I'm not on tour, I can run down to the comedy club and do a little stand-up. If you're an actor, you can't go - I guess there's forms of it. — Louis C. K.
My wife made me join a bridge club... I jump off next Tuesday. — Rodney Dangerfield
Dark Comedy Quotes
That's what I love about sketch comedy: a sketch is five minutes, then it goes dark, and there's the potential for something else. — Jason Sudeikis
Our records, if you have a dark sense of humor, were funny, but our records weren't about comedy. They were about protests, fantasy, confrontation and all that. — Ice Cube
I like dark comedies. That's why I like the Wayans Brothers. — Zach Galifianakis
I think that crowdfunding has become such a powerful tool to tell stories that might not find financing otherwise - like a dark comedy about infidelity, for example! — Kit Williamson
I like very dry humor. I dont like things that are over the top. I like subtlety. I like things that are nonchalant. I like characters that are sort of monotone and based in dark comedy. — Emily Rios
I'm not interested in parts where they are looking for a good-looking guy. I want to be a weird little sidekick in a crazy comedy and then play like a dark drama or a thriller. — Alexander Skarsgard
Heavy role in the movies that I've done that I have loved and fit my soul; A Simple Plan, Monster's Ball, Sling Blade, One False Move, Bad Santa even. I mean Bad Santa is a comedy, and it's a very dark comedy, and it's become like iconic, you know. — Billy Bob Thornton
Black Comedy is a farce that is played in the dark, as you know, with the lights full on. It's the Chinese convention of reversing light and dark, and exactly where anybody is at any given moment is the play. — Peter Shaffer
Dark comedy is very difficult. You have to bring the audience in and push them away at the same time. — Pierce Brosnan
I tend to find comedy in dark places. I also tend to find comedy in taking on the status quo - which has always been something I find important. — Tom Green
People know me. I'm not going to produce any cartwheels out there. I'm not going to belong on Comedy Central. I'll always be a tennis player, not a celebrity. — Pete Sampras
I can stand by a tweet. But Comedy Central said they couldn't publicly support me, unless I deleted it. I wasn't about to tell the people who work for me that they didn't have jobs anymore because I wasn't going to delete a stupid tweet. — Anthony Jeselnik
There's this other world where all comedians want to do is make funny videos. Typically what's happened in the past is that a comedian gets a standup career and over the course of 20 years builds it up to the point where Comedy Central gives them a sketch show. — Gavin McInnes
I hate being mean. I watch those roasts on Comedy Central and they make the hair on the back of my neck stand up. — Downtown Julie Brown
Comedy Central made me delete the Boston Marathon joke. I wasn't happy about it but, despite popular belief, I can occasionally be a team player. — Anthony Jeselnik
I'm also doing a special for Comedy Central called Autobiography. It's going to be a spoof of Biography. — Kathy Griffin
When I started stand-up - and this is in the '90s - there was definitely people hadn't watched decades of Comedy Central, where people are really much more educated on stand-up comedy. — Jim Gaffigan
Comedy Central was a great network, but 'Chappelle's Show' took it to a completely different level. Other shows got bigger because so many viewers were watching the 'Chappelle' reruns. For BET, the 'Real Husbands of Hollywood' has that same potential. — Kevin Hart
I've asked Comedy Central, and they just say, "I don't know." It took Showtime two years to put my special on DVD. Owning your own content is the single most important thing in the world. — Jay Mohr
And what could be a hotter ticket than the improbable triumph of 'The Book of Mormon,' the musical-comedy moon shot of the season? Its creators, Matt Stone and Trey Parker, of Comedy Central's 'South Park,' are the most unlikely Rodgers and Hammerstein team ever to bowl a thundering strike. — James Wolcott
The Westerns I like aren't really comedies. I'm drawn to the scope of them and the land as a central character. — Tom Selleck
I came home in the afternoon to sleep, and there was this e-mail from Comedy Central saying they were interested in having me be part of this new show called 'Jump Cuts'! So I called them right away, and the producer started laughing and said, 'We sent that e-mail one minute ago - you're so fast!' — Lev Yilmaz
Honestly we never lied to people about who we were. Usually the wackier interviews came to pass because the interview subjects, aware that we were Comedy Central, just wanted to get their stories out. — Mo Rocca
The one that was most fun was That's My Bush; the part that I did for Comedy Central. That was a hoot. That was more fun that one should be allowed to have. — Timothy Bottoms
It's funny because I think a lot of it is simply... We've never considered ourselves satirists, but because we're on Comedy Central and because we're South Park on Comedy Central, we can do any topic we want. — Trey Parker
There was so long from when we did the pilot and then when the show was eventually picked up by Comedy Central - and, in fact, we had to shoot the pilot twice. — Thomas Lennon
We have more information - a glut of information - than ever before, and perhaps less knowledge. That's what's peculiar. And the only way you can deal with it, I suppose, is to make fun of it. I would rather watch Comedy Central for the news than I'd like to watch any other program on television. Maybe that shows you the state of affairs. — Errol Morris
[ Hosting Saturday Night Live ] paved the way for Parks And Rec and The Grinder, the Comedy Central Roast, and that whole side of my career. — Rob Lowe
When I had my Comedy Central roast, David [Spade] was my first choice to be roastmaster, because I adore him. He's funny as hell, and nobody is meaner. — Rob Lowe
Having done stand-up on television and in stand-up specials for like Comedy Central, you learn quickly that for that type of performance you're playing to the camera. — John Mulaney
As a news person, you can't spend all your time responding to a Comedy Central star. It's not what we do. — Megyn Kelly
Comedy Central wanted to do a show with me, I had a couple failures under my belt with them already, but they still wanted to try something else. They came to me and said they wanted to do something that was internet focused and created original content on their site, so they could compete with the funny or dies and what not. So that was the premise, and they gave us a small amount of money, $5000, and from there it turned into the show. — Daniel Tosh
That's what's nice about being on Comedy Central. You can't show your boobs even if you wanted to. — Ilana Glazer
I think Comedy Central and probably all channels are on their way toward being apps accessible on whatever the Roku of the future is. — Andy Daly
Few years ago [Donald] Trump was being roasted by Comedy Central. They always have rules about things that you can't joke about. Donald Trump's rule at that time, the only thing that you couldn't joke about was a suggestion that he has less money that he claimed to. — Ben Domenech
Comedy Central was really impressed by how quickly we got everyone to sign the releases for the CD. They've never seen anything that quick. — B. J. Porter
Brian Posehn went up at 4:45 in the morning. And he gets lost at a certain point. I don't know if we kept him getting lost on the CD. That joke isn't as technically well delivered as I'm sure it is in his Comedy Central special. But the whole disk has this looseness and flavor to it where anything can happen that a lot of people will prefer. — B. J. Porter
The second disk was taped at our all-night anniversary show. And some of those sets are taped at like 4:30 or 5 in the morning, when people are a little groggy and not doing what they would do if they knew it was being recorded. That said, that disk has an entirely different flavor. It's more experimental. It has more of the newcomers on it. It has people doing stuff that you won't see on Comedy Central or HBO specials. — B. J. Porter
I think everybody has a point where they're not going to cross that line. There were a couple of things with Comedy Central that we had to fight for. They were pretty cool about everything. I don't think there was anything we really fought for that didn't happen. — Jillian Bell
Comedy Central does a really good job of finding totally different comedies. — Jillian Bell
I just think 'Broad City' - Comedy Central's answer to 'Girls' - is the best thing that's been put on television in years. It's amazing. — Mackenzie Davis
I think all the funny people were bullied. When they talk about outlawing bullying, it's like, what? You want no Comedy Central? — Chris Rock
As far as standup, everybody has a vehicle they are driving. If what you do works, it's like playing golf. If you can master that one swing over and over again, you will be successful. That's what standup is. You have to have a central move and it has to be yours. You have to own your comedy, own what you do. — J. B. Smoove
Comedy Central made their own awards show. They were named best comedy channel. — Andy Kindler
The crooks downtown figured out that comedy is like a hammer. It can put up a barn and it can knock down a wall. So they bought it outright and marketed it as Comedy Central. — Lenny Bruce
Basically, I was always very interested in comedy, but I was much more sort of academic. And then, after college, loaded with my art history degree, I decided to go work at Comedy Central as a temp. — Jessi Klein
Jeff Ross has a new show on Comedy Central where he roasts the news. It'll be perfect for people who find Jon Stewart too handsome and funny. — Seth Green
I have yet to see one of those Comedy Central shows with multiple standup comics that doesn't include someone the size of the Hindenburg. — Dick Cavett
I don't think that women necessarily always write like women. I was a writer on the Comedy Central Roasts for a while, and I always wrote the jokes that people assumed the men would write. — Whitney Cummings
Comedy will always be central to what I do, it's just an instinct for me, but I am a writer and always have been. — Ben Elton
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