Humor is the only test of gravity, and gravity of humor; for a subject which will not bear raillery is suspicious, and a jest which will not bear serious examination is false wit. — Aristotle
In conversation, humor is worth more than wit and easiness more than knowledge. — George Herbert
Wittiness turns me on more than anything else. — Caity Lotz
Humor is something that thrives between man's aspirations and his limitations. There is more logic in humor than in anything else. Because, you see, humor is truth. — Victor Borge
Humor is perhaps a sense of intellectual perspective: an awareness that some things are really important, others not; and that the two kinds are most oddly jumbled in everyday affairs. — Christopher Morley
Humor was another of the soul's weapons in the fight for self-preservation. — Viktor E. Frankl
A keen sense of humor helps us to overlook the unbecoming, understand the unconventional, tolerated the unpleasant, overcome the unexpected, and outlast the unbearable. — Billy Graham
Humor and knowledge are the two great hopes of our culture. — Konrad Lorenz
Honest good humor is the oil and wine of a merry meeting, and there is no jovial companionship equal to that where the jokes are rather small and laughter abundant. — Washington Irving
A sense of humor is just common sense dancing. — William James
Short Wit And Humor Quotes
Humor is the instinct for taking pain playfully. — Max Eastman
Humor is an affirmation of dignity, a declaration of man's superiority to all that befalls him. — Romain Gary
Humor is an affirmation of dignity, a declaration of man's superiority to all that befalls him. — Roman Gary
Brevity is the body and soul of wit. — Jean Paul
Bad humor is an evasion of reality; good humor is an acceptance of it. — Malcolm Muggeridge
Humor is really laughing off a hurt, grinning at misery. — Bill Mauldin
Humor is mankind's greatest blessing. — Mark Twain
Humor is just another defense against the universe. — Mel Brooks
Wisdom lies in taking everything with good humor and a grain of salt. — George Santayana
Wit And Humor Image Quotes
Every time you find some humor in a difficult situation, you win.
Witty Humor Quotes
Before you judge a man, walk a mile in his shoes. After that who cares?... He's a mile away and you've got his shoes! — Billy Connolly
I asked God for a bike, but I know God doesn't work that way. So I stole a bike and asked for forgiveness. — Emo Philips
I thought about how mothers feed their babies with tiny little spoons and forks so I wondered, what do Chinese mothers use? Toothpicks? — George Carlin
In America, anyone can become president. That's the problem. — George Carlin
If the black box flight recorder is never damaged during a plane crash, why isn’t the whole airplane made out of that stuff? — George Carlin
God created sex. Priests created marriage. — Voltaire
Every time you are able to find some humor in a difficult situation, you win.
Always borrow money from a pessimist. He won't expect it back. — Oscar Wilde
Parrots make great pets. They have more personality than goldfish — Chevy Chase
Think of how stupid the average person is, and realize half of them are stupider than that. — George Carlin
C makes it easy to shoot yourself in the foot; C++ makes it harder, but when you do it blows your whole leg off. — Bjarne Stroustrup
Wit And Humour Quotes
In all thy humours, whether grave or mellow, Thou'rt such a touchy, testy, pleasant fellow, Hast so much wit and mirth and spleen about thee, There is no living with thee, nor without thee. — Joseph Addison
We owe to one another all the wit and good humour we can command; and nothing so clears our mental vistas as sympathetic and intelligent conversation. — Agnes Repplier
I like men with quick wit, good conversation and a great sense of humour. I love banter. I want a man to like me for me - I want him to be authentic. — Emma Watson
Never miss a good chance to shut up.
The genius of the Spanish people is exquisitely subtle, without being at all acute; hence there is so much humour and so little wit in their literature. — Samuel Taylor Coleridge
Oh! a private buffoon is a light-hearted loon,
If you listen to popular rumour;
From morning to night he's so joyous and bright,
And he bubbles with wit and good humour! — W. S. Gilbert
Twas the saying of an ancient sage that humour was the only test of gravity, and gravity of humour. For a subject which would not bear raillery was suspicious; and a jest which would not bear a serious examination was certainly false wit. — Anthony Ashley Cooper, 1st Earl of Shaftesbury
Don't be absurd! Nobody made us! We evolved by chance from snowflakes. ~ Light humor to demonstrate the fact that there is a creator for everything.
Humour is the describing the ludicrous as it is in itself; wit is the exposing it, by comparing or contrasting it with something else. Humour is, as it were, the growth of nature and accident; wit is the product of art and fancy. — William Hazlitt
I can only do it if there's humour, wit, comedy and drama. If you can get audiences laughing and then suddenly turn them to tears... it's a weird way of making a living making people cry, but I think it's very exciting to be able to send audiences on a rollercoaster ride. — Nigel Cole
Remember that the wit, humour, and jokes of most mixed companies are local. They thrive in that particular soil, but will not often bear transplanting. — Lord Chesterfield
Humour is the making others act or talk absurdly and unconsciously; wit is the pointing out and ridiculing that absurdity consciously, and with more or less ill-nature. — William Hazlitt
Wit And Wisdom Quotes
There is no such thing as an acceptable level of unemployment, because hunger is not acceptable, poverty is not acceptable, poor health is not acceptable, and a ruined life is not acceptable. — Hubert H. Humphrey
A warrior considers himself already dead, so there is nothing to lose. The worst has already happened to him, therefore he's clear and calm; judging him by his acts or by his words, one would never suspect that he has witnessed everything. — Carlos Castaneda
Anonymity is an abused privilege, abused most by people who mistake vitriol for wisdom and cynicism for wit. — Danny Wallace
Every time we witness an injustice and do not act, we train our character to be passive in its presence and thereby eventually lose all ability to defend ourselves and those we love.
When we say, 'One nation under God, with liberty and justice for all', we are talking about all people. We either ought to believe it or quit saying it . — Hubert H. Humphrey
For the May Day is the great day,
Sung along the old straight track.
And those who ancient lines did ley
Will heed this song that calls them back...
Pass the cup, and pass the Lady,
And pass the plate to all who hunger,
Pass the wit of ancient wisdom,
Pass the cup of crimson wonder. — Jethro Tull
Why buy good luggage? You only use it when you travel. — Yogi Berra
life with no bestfriend is like a death with not witnesses
I have read my books by many lights, hoarding their beauty, their wit or wisdom against the dark days when I would have no book, nor a place to read. I have known hunger of the belly kind many times over, but I have known a worse hunger: the need to know and to learn. — Louis L'Amour
The old grooves must be erased in your brain, without forming new ones. You must realize yourself as the immovable, behind and beyond the movable, the silent witness of all that happens. — Sri Nisargadatta Maharaj
We cannot use a double standard for measuring our own and other people's policies. Our demands for democratic practices in other lands will be no more effective than the guarantees of those practiced in our own country. — Hubert H. Humphrey
There is a great deal of difference between living and surviving. You can survive in debauchery, even in sickness and despair. But you live with a spirit of vitality and a spirit of participation, of being wanted, and having something to contribute. — Hubert H. Humphrey
Very Witty Quotes
The superfluous, a very necessary thing. — Voltaire
I do this real moron thing, and it's called thinking. And apparently I'm not a very good American because I like to form my own opinions. — George Carlin
Jogging is very beneficial. It's good for your legs and your feet. It's also very good for the ground. If makes it feel needed. — Charles M. Schulz
When I was born ... the doctor came out to the waiting room and said to my father ... I'm very sorry. We did everything we could ... but he pulled through. — Rodney Dangerfield
I was brought up by very witty people who were dealing with quite difficult things: disease and death... I was brought up by people who tended to giggle at funerals. — Emma Thompson
They tell you that you'll lose your mind when you grow older. What they don't tell you is that you won't miss it very much. — Malcolm Cowley
The voice of Thich Nhat Hanh-friendly, patient, steadfast, confident, contemporary, and often witty-seems, to me, an intermediary big brother talking directly to me on every page saying, 'Look! It's right there in you,' the very wisdom that leads to compassion. — Sylvia Boorstein
Courtship to marriage, as a very witty prologue to a very dull play. — William Congreve
There are three estates in Parliament but in the Reporters' Gallery yonder there sits a Fourth Estate more important far than they all. It is not a figure of speech or witty saying, it is a literal fact, very momentous to us in these times. — Edmund Burke
I don't think there's any harm at all in allowing a kid to fantasize. In fact, I think to stop people from fantasizing is a very destructive thing indeed. — J. K. Rowling
Humor And Laughter Quotes
Grace creates liberated laughter. The grace of God...is beautiful, and it radiates joy and awakens humor. — Karl Barth
You can't stay mad at somebody who makes you laugh. — Jay Leno
A good laugh overcomes more difficulties and dissipates more dark clouds than any other one thing. — Laura Ingalls Wilder
Humor is a prelude to faith and laughter is the beginning of prayer. — Reinhold Niebuhr
I really hate sitcoms on television with canned laughter and stuff. What really makes me laugh is the real-life stuff. I've got a dry sense of humor. — Katie Price
Ridicule is generally made use of to laugh men out of virtue and good sense, by attacking everything praiseworthy in human life. — Joseph Addison
Through humor, you can soften some of the worst blows that life delivers. And once you find laughter, no matter how painful your situation might be, you can survive it. — Bill Cosby
I've always thought that a big laugh is a really loud noise from the soul saying, "Ain't that the truth." — Quincy Jones
A sense of humor... is needed armor. Joy in one's heart and some laughter on one's lips is a sign that the person down deep has a pretty good grasp of life. — Hugh Sidey
Laughter keeps you healthy. You can survive by seeing the humor in everything. Thumb your nose at sadness; turn the tables on tragedy. You can’t laugh and be angry, you can’t laugh and feel sad, you can’t laugh and feel envious. — Bel Kaufman
Sense Of Humor Quotes
If you find it hard to laugh at yourself, I would be happy to do it for you. — Groucho Marx
There's gon' be some stuff you gon' see
that's gon' make it hard to smile in the future.
But through whatever you see,
through all the rain and the pain,
you gotta keep your sense of humor.
You gotta be able to smile through all this bullshit.
Remember that. — Tupac Shakur
Nonsense wakes up the brain cells. And it helps develop a sense of humor, which is awfully important in this day and age. Humor has a tremendous place in this sordid world. It's more than just a matter of laughing. If you can see things out of whack, then you can see how things can be in whack. — Dr. Seuss
Life has three rules: Paradox, Humor, and Change. - Paradox: Life is a mystery; don't waste your time trying to figure it out. - Humor: Keep a sense of humor, especially about yourself. It is a strength beyond all measure - Change: Know that nothing ever stays the same. — Dan Millman
I would say that I'm a nonviolent soldier. In place of weapons of violence, you have to use your mind, your heart, your sense of humor, every faculty available to you...because no one has the right to take the life of another human being. — Joan Baez
Good planning is important. I've also regarded a sense of humor as one of the most important things on a big expedition. When you're in a difficult or dangerous situation, or when you're depressed about the chances of success, someone who can make you laugh eases the tension. — Edmund Hillary
Confidence is at the root of so many attractive qualities - a sense of humor, a sense of style, a willingness to be who you are no matter what anyone else might think or say. — Wentworth Miller
'Understanding' art is like having a sense of humour - if you don't have one, no amount of explanation is going to make you laugh. — Michael Craig-Martin
Whatever you see you gotta keep a sense of humor; you gotta be able to smile through all the bullshit. — Tupac Shakur
Common sense and a sense of humor are the same thing, moving at different speeds. A sense of humor is just common sense, dancing. — William James
Witty Sayings Quotes
People say nothing is impossible, but I do nothing every day. — A. A. Milne
It is easier to be a lover than a husband for the simple reason that it is more difficult to be witty every day than to say pretty things from time to time. — Honore de Balzac
My contributions were many: First clown director, with witty sayings and flashily dressed, now called master of ceremonies. — Jelly Roll Morton
I don't at all like knowing what people say of me behind my back. It makes me far too conceited. — Oscar Wilde
I’m bored’ is a useless thing to say. I mean, you live in a great, big, vast world that you’ve seen none percent of. Even the inside of your own mind is endless; it goes on forever, inwardly, do you understand? The fact that you’re alive is amazing, so you don’t get to say ‘I’m bored. — Louis C. K.
That woman speaks eighteen languages, and can't say 'No' in any of them. — Dorothy Parker
All my life I've wanted, just once, to say something clever without losing my train of thought — Robert Breault
My music is basically all about witty punchlines and lyric progression that is aimed to make you laugh or say "Woah." — Mike Stud
Given a choice between hearing my daughter say "I'm pregnant" or "I used a condom", most mothers would get up in the middle of the night and buy them herself. — Joycelyn Elders
A poem is never finished, only abandoned. — Paul Valery
If at first you don't succeed, destroy all evidence that you tried. — Steven Wright
At the risk of appearing disingenuous, I don't really think of myself as 'writing humor.' I'm simply reporting on the world I observe, which is frequently hilarious. — Richard Russo
He writes so well he makes me feel like putting my quill back in my goose. — Fred Allen
Based on what you know about him in history books, what do you think Abraham Lincoln would be doing if he were alive today? 1) Writing his memoirs of the Civil War. 2) Advising the President. 3) Desperately clawing at the inside of his coffin. — David Letterman
I think people appreciate a songwriter who shows different sides. The whole angst thing is cool, but if that's all you've got, it's just boring. Everything I write, whether it's happy or sad, has a sense of humor to it. — Katy Perry
A writer's voice is not character alone, it is not style alone; it is far more. A writer's voice line the stroke of an artist's brush- is the thumbprint of her whole person- her idea, wit, humor, passions, rhythms. — Patricia Lee Gauch
Just tell the truth, and they'll accuse you of writing black humor. — Charles Willeford
Whenever I'm out of town for at least a week, I feel like I should write a postcard or something, but you can be a genius, you try and write a postcard you come across like a moron anyway: 'This city's got big buildings. I like food. Bye.' — Jim Gaffigan
The naked truth is always better than the best-dressed lie. — Ann Landers
If you think nobody cares if you're alive, try missing a couple of car payments. — Earl Wilson
If you want your children to listen, try talking softly - to someone else. — Ann Landers
Don't be a hard rock when you really are a gem! — Lauryn Hill
People who live in an age of corruption are witty and slanderous; they know that there are other kinds of murder than by dagger or assault; they also know that whatever is well said is believed. — Friedrich Nietzsche
Knowledge is realizing that the street is one way; wisdom is looking in both directions anyway. — Albert Einstein
I mean, I do love clever and witty, but I think that the 'Three Stooges' were geniuses. They'd have to be for their appeal to have lasted this long. — Paula Poundstone
He is simply a shiver looking for a spine to run up — Paul Keating
The present generation, wearied by its chimerical efforts, relapses into complete indolence. Its condition is that of a man who has only fallen asleep towards morning: first of all come great dreams, then a feeling of laziness, and finally a witty or clever excuse for remaining in bed. — Soren Kierkegaard
Nixon's motto was, if two wrongs don't make a right, try three. — Norman Cousins
Now it's virtually impossible to write a game that successfully provides challenge and frustration, and that's a shame. We are going to lose something that makes scientists, that makes doers, that makes hard-minded, witty, clever people, and I worry that those people aren't being made these days. — Patrick Rothfuss
Clever, witty and absorbing, Amortality is a much-needed anatomy of our profound malaise about ageing. Its charms will never fade. — David Baddiel
A father may have a child who is ugly and lacking in all the graces, and the love he feels for him puts a blindfold over his eyes so that he does not see his defects but considers them signs of charm and intelligence and recounts them to his friends as if they were clever and witty. — Miguel de Cervantes
Pickup lines never work...I think someone clever, witty and funny is very attractive. — Kate Upton
My dad is a very quick-witted, sarcastic, dry, humorous guy, whereas my mom's very silly, and that side of the family is very musical. — Tim Heidecker
The first ingredient in conversation is truth, the next good sense, the third good humor, and the fourth wit. — Sir William Temple
I believe disagreement is an art. It requires care. It requires skills, it requires compassion and respect. When there’s underlying respect you get to play, there’s humor, there’s wit. Ultimately you arrive at something profound as a result. — Lex Fridman
My coping mechanism with my dyslexia is to use wit and humor. — Max Brooks
Wit and humor belong to genius alone. — Miguel de Cervantes
Humor does not include sarcasm, invalid irony, sardonicism, innuendo, or any other form of cruelty. When these things are raised to a high point they can become wit, but unlike the French and the English, we have not been much good at wit since the days of Benjamin Franklin. — James Thurber
Universities incline wits to sophistry and affectation. — Jacques Barzun
Wit and humor do not reside in slow minds. — Miguel de Cervantes
I think hip-hop does a very good job of infusing comedy and humor and wit into music, a lot more than other genres. — Carrie Brownstein
Man can not live by bread alone ... he must have peanut butter. — Bill Cosby
I have witnessed and greatly enjoyed the first act of everything which Wagner created, but the effect on me has always been so powerful that one act was quite sufficient; whenever I have witnessed two acts I have gone away physically exhausted; and whenever I have ventured an entire opera the result has been the next thing to suicide. — Mark Twain
So this bloke says to me, "Can I come in your house and talk about your carpets?" I thought "That's all I need, a Je-hoover's witness". — Tim Vine
I have wit in my work and a sense of humor, but I do not use irony in any way — John Zorn
The beaver, which has come to represent Canada as the eagle does the United States and the lion Britain, is a flat-tailed, slow-witted, toothy rodent known to bite off it's own testicles or to stand under its own falling trees. — June Callwood
There are some men who are witty when they are in a bad humor, and others only when they are sad. — Joseph Joubert
For the qualities of sheer wit and humor, Swift had no superior, ancient or modern. — Leigh Hunt
From Lucifer to Jerry Sneak there is not an aspect of evil, imperfection, and littleness which can elude the lights of humor or the lightning of wit. — Edwin Percy Whipple
Wit, after all, is a mighty tart, pungent ingredient, and much too acid for some stomachs; but honest good humor is the oil and wine of a merry meeting. — Washington Irving
If you have wit, use it to please and not to hurt: you may shine like the sun in the temperate zones without scorching. — Lord Chesterfield
It is perhaps life's greatest accomplishment to live to old age, maintaining one's wits, one's sense of humor, one's health, and one's charm. — Yehudi Menuhin
Wit makes its own welcome, and levels all distinctions. — Ralph Waldo Emerson
Wit and Humor -- if any difference, it is in duration -- lightning and electric light. Same material, apparently; but one is vivid, and can do damage -- the other fools along and enjoys elaboration. — Mark Twain
Wit and playfulness represent a desperately serious transcendence of evil. Humor is both a form of wisdom and a means of survival. — Tom Robbins
My visions and fantasies are pretty standard. The only difference is I got to do it, while most of us haven't. Beyond that, I'm a pretty standard guy. Give me a gal with a sense of humor, acidic wit, who's read a few books and has a body like a Swedish speed skater, and I'm quite content. — David Lee Roth
He was drunk upon the average once a day, and penitent upon an equally fair calculation once a month; and when he was penitent, he was invariably in the very last stage of maudlin intoxication. He was a ragged, roving, roaring kind of fellow, with a burly form, a sharp wit, and a ready head, and could turn his hand to anything when he chose to do it. — Charles Dickens
Although our productions have afforded more extensive and unaffected pleasure than those of any other literary corporation in the world, no species of composition has been so much decried. And what are you reading, Miss -- -? Oh! it is only a novel! replies the young lady; while she lays down her book with affected indifference, or momentary shame. It is only Cecilia, or Camilla, or Belinda ; or, in short, only some work in which the greatest powers of the mind are displayed, in which the most thorough knowledge of human nature, the happiest delineation of its varieties, the liveliest effusions of wit and humor, are conveyed to the world in the best chosen language. — Jane Austen
Any discussion of the problems of being funny in America will not make sense unless we substitute the word wit for humor. Humor inspires sympathetic good-natured laughter and is favored by the healing-power gang. Wit goes for the jugular, not the jocular, and it's the opposite of football; instead of building character, it tears it down. — Florence King
Many of the most successful men I have known have never grown up. They have retained bubbling-over boyishness. They have relished wit, they have indulged in humor. They have not allowed dignity to depress them into moroseness. Youthfulnesss of spirit is the twin brother of optimism, and optimism is the stuff of which American business success is fashioned. Resist growing up! — B. C. Forbes
It is commonly said that ridicule is the best test of truth; for that it will not stick where it is not just. I deny it. A truth learned in a certain light, and attacked in certain words, by men of wit and humor, may, and often does, become ridiculous, at least so far, that the truth is only remembered and repeated for the sake of the ridicule. — Lord Chesterfield
I don't like jokes in speeches. I do like wit and humor. A joke is to humor what pornography is to erotic language in a good novel. — James C. Humes
Wit and humor seem to always factor into this - there's a tongue-in-cheek tone you get when you take on a formalist story - because there's an inherent voice you're trying to copy (and often to satirize). — Alexander Weinstein
Style and taste do not have anything to do with the other. It's the difference between wit and humor. — Robert Benton
People who go for humor are wonderful because they do great humor. People who go for wit and end up with humor are people who have made a mistake. — Robert Benton
I don't like jokes in speeches. I do like wit and humor. A joke is to humor what pornography is to erotic language in a good novel. — James C Humes
Some of the best work done to combat the Republicans has been wit and humor. — Julianna Baggott
Also, my humor is really dry-witted, Canadian humor, so some people get it and some people don't. I'd be great on "The Office." I would like to be on that show. And, I could see me doing romantic comedy films, and stuff like that. — Tinsel Korey
We admire Chaucer for his sturdy English wit.... But though it is full of good sense and humanity, it is not transcendent poetry.For picturesque description of persons it is, perhaps, without a parallel in English poetry; yet it is essentially humorous, as the loftiest genius never is. — Henry David Thoreau
On a throne at the center of a sense of humor sits a capacity for irony. All wit rests on a cheerful awareness of life's incongruities. It is a gentling awareness, and no politician without it should be allowed near power. — George Will
Men ought to find the difference between saltiness and bitterness. Certainly, he that hath a satirical vein, as he maketh others afraid of his wit, so he had need be afraid of others' memory. — Francis Bacon
While it may not heighten our sympathy, wit widens our horizons by its flashes, revealing remote hidden affiliations and drawing laughter from far afield; humor, in contrast, strikes up fellow feeling, and though it does not leap so much across time and space, enriches our insight into the universal in familiar things, lending it a local habitation and a name. — Marie Taylor Collins Swabey
What an ornament and safeguard is humor! Far better than wit for a poet and writer. It is a genius itself, and so defends from the insanities. — Walter Scott
"Vell," said Mr. Weller, "Now I s'pose he'll want to call some witnesses to speak to his character, or p'raps to prove a alleybi. I've been a turnin' the bis'ness over in my mind, and he may make his-self easy, Sammy. I've got some friends as'll do either for him, but my adwice 'ud be this here-never mind the character, and stick to the alleybi. Nothing like a alleybi, Sammy, nothing." — Charles Dickens
In Conclusion
Which quotation resonated with you best? Did you enjoy our collection of wit and humor quotes? Or may be you have a slogan about wit and humor to suggest. Let us know using our contact form.
Citation
Feel free to cite and use any of the quotes in this collection of wit and humor quotations. For popular citation styles(APA, Chicago, MLA), please use this citation page.
