quote by Woody Allen

Having sex is like playing bridge. If you don't have a good partner, you'd better have a good hand.

— Woody Allen

Terrific Funny Sexy quotations

Funny sexy quote To thrive in life you need three bones. A wishbone. A backbone. And a funny bone

To thrive in life you need three bones. A wishbone. A backbone. And a funny bone.

God created sex. Priests created marriage.

Women need a reason to have sex, men just need a place.

Funny sexy quote Isn't it funny how day by day nothing changes, but when you look back everything

Isn't it funny how day by day nothing changes, but when you look back everything is different.

According to a new survey, women say they feel more comfortable undressing in front of men than they do undressing in front of other women. They say that women are too judgmental, where, of course, men are just grateful.

So, have you heard about the oyster who went to a disco and pulled a mussel?

Symmetry is pleasing but not as sexy. Einstein is cool but Picasso knows what I'm talking about.

Funny sexy quote I tried to be normal once. Worst to minutes of my life.

I tried to be normal once. Worst to minutes of my life.

42

Women might be able to fake orgasms. But men can fake whole relationships.

Confidence is the sexiest thing a woman can have. It's much sexier than any body part.

A promiscuous person is a person who is getting more sex than you are.

Funny sexy quote Never miss a good chance to shut up.

Never miss a good chance to shut up.

Graze on my lips; and if those hills be dry, stray lower, where the pleasant fountains lie.

The prettiest dresses are worn to be taken off.

If God had intended us not to masturbate, He would have made our arms shorter.

Funny sexy quote Trust me, You can dance.

Trust me, You can dance.

23

Isn't it interesting how the sounds are the same for an awful nightmare and great sex?

There's a new medical crisis. Doctors are reporting that many men are having allergic reactions to latex condoms. They say they cause severe swelling. So what's the problem?

Don't knock masturbation. It's sex with someone I love.

Funny sexy quote I never forget a face, but in your case I'll be glad to make an exception.

I never forget a face, but in your case I'll be glad to make an exception.

It stands to reason that we love chocolate cake because it is sweet.

Guys go for girls like this because they are sexy. We adore babies because they're so cute. And, of course, we are amused by jokes because they are funny. This is all backwards. It is. And Darwin shows us why.

It stands to reason that we love chocolate cake because it is sweet.

Guys go for girls like this because they are sexy. We adore babies because they're so cute. And, of course, we are amused by jokes because they are funny. This is all backwards. It is. And Darwin shows us why.

Sex appeal is 50% what you've got and 50% what people think you've got.

Funny sexy quote From there to here, and here to there, funny things are everywhere.

From there to here, and here to there, funny things are everywhere.

Sex without love is an empty experience, but as empty experiences go, it's one of the best.

Being sexy is kind of funny to me.

Sex without love is as hollow and ridiculous as love without sex.

Funny sexy quote I don't have a dirty mind, I have a sexy imagination.

I don't have a dirty mind, I have a sexy imagination.

18

I'm not a sexy guy. I went to a hooker. I dropped my pants. She dropped her price.

The musical stuff I'd go up for was always funny, sexy, tough-as-nails, heart-of-gold characters.

Sex at age 90 is like trying to shoot pool with a rope.

Funny sexy quote Everything is funny as long as it is happening to somebody else.

Everything is funny as long as it is happening to somebody else.

Give a man free hands, and you'll know where to find them.

For sheer sexiness, a man must be beautiful. Funny. yes. Clever, no.

Goldie Hawn is funny, sexy, beautiful, talented, intelligent, warm, and consistently sunny. Other than that, she doesn't impress me at all.

Funny sexy quote Let's be pretty kind. Pretty funny. Pretty smart. Pretty strong

Let's be pretty kind. Pretty funny. Pretty smart. Pretty strong

Two things are not debatable: eroticism, and comedy.

If you don't think it's sexy, or funny, there's no way I can change your mind.

I had gotten to a place where I truly believed everything I was called: 'not sexy,' 'not funny,' 'too intense,' desperate.' All those labels they gave me, I took them because there wasn't a trace of my true self left.

I want to span different genres. I want to be able to transform. I want to be able to be sexy, and funny, and quirky, and all the other things that I am. And I feel that the best way that I can achieve that is by producing.

Funny sexy quote Money can't buy happiness. But it sure can rent it for awhile.

Money can't buy happiness. But it sure can rent it for awhile.

This (French-Kissing) is a really sexy thing to do, according to the French people, although you should bear in mind that they also like to eat snails.

I think there’s something really sexy about being funny and being quirky and weird. I think we’re in a generation where we’re accepting weirdness and individuality, and I think that’s the most important part.

The keys that unlock the heart are made of funny materials: a disarming phrase that comes out of the blue, nowhere, a certain sexy walk that sends you reeling, the way someone hums when she is alone. My father said it was the way my mother danced with him.

No sex is better than bad sex.

I think it's always funny when somebody thinks you're going to do something super sexy and then you don't.

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