humor quotes

quotations, images & sayings


What are humor quotes?

Accurate and famous quotes by J. K. Rowling, Groucho Marx, Mark Twain, Woody Allen, Charlie Chaplin, George Carlin, Kurt Vonnegut, Charles Bukowski, that are about humor. You can read the best of all time and enjoy Top 10 lists. These sayings are handy to improve yourself and your knowledge.

What are the best humor images quotes?

Here is selection of the finest quotes embed as messages on beautiful images. Beautiful humor affirmations to read, bookmark and share with your friends and family.


  1. Picture quote by Sayings about humor

    Every time you find some humor in a difficult situation, you win. ⏤ Sayings


  2. Picture quote by Sayings about humor

    Every time you are able to find some humor in a difficult situation, you win. ⏤ Sayings


  3. Picture quote by Will Rogers about silence

    Never miss a good chance to shut up. ⏤ Will Rogers



What are the best humor quotations?

Below you can read the best quotes about humor of all times. Some of the top sayings from famous people here to read and remember. Access the best humor quotations. Top humor sayings on images and beautiful affirmations. Enjoy and bookmark favorite ones.


Two things are infinite: the universe and human stupidity; and I'm not sure about the universe.

Albert Einstein

You may not be able to change a situation, but with humor you can change your attitude about it.

Allen Klein

Love is a serious mental disease.

Plato

If a cluttered desk is a sign of a cluttered mind, of what, then, is an empty desk a sign?

Albert Einstein

That's why they call it the American Dream, because you have to be asleep to believe it.

George Carlin

Humor is the instinct for taking pain playfully.

Max Eastman

Throughout history, great leaders have known the power of humor.

Allen Klein

The reason I talk to myself is because I’m the only one whose answers I accept.

George Carlin

Some people never go crazy. What truly horrible lives they must lead.

Charles Bukowski

Go to heaven for the climate and hell for the company.

Mark Twain

Through humor, you can soften some of the worst blows that life delivers. And once you find laughter, no matter how painful your situation might be, you can survive it.

Bill Cosby

I am not afraid of death, I just don't want to be there when it happens.

Woody Allen

The most interesting information come from children, for they tell all they know and then stop.

Mark Twain

Right now I’m having amnesia and déjà vu at the same time. I think I’ve forgotten this before.

Steven Wright

The Lord prefers common-looking people. That is why he made so many of them.

Abraham Lincoln

Life's hard. It's even harder when you're stupid.

John Wayne

Good humor is the health of the soul, sadness is its poison.

Lord Chesterfield

I take my only exercise acting as a pallbearer at the funerals of my friends who exercise regularly.

Mark Twain

One never needs their humor as much a when they argue with a fool.

Chinese Proverbs

My way of joking is to tell the truth. It's the funniest joke in the world.

George Bernard Shaw

Which of us is happy in this world? Which of us has his desire? or, having it, is satisfied?

William Makepeace Thackeray

The secret to humor is surprise.

Aristotle

The person, be it gentleman or lady, who has not pleasure in a good novel, must be intolerably stupid.

Jane Austen

Many a true word is spoken in jest.

English Proverbs

If I had no sense of humor, I would long ago have committed suicide.

Mahatma Gandhi

If there is anyone here whom I have not insulted, I beg his pardon.

Johannes Brahms

If it’s true that our species is alone in the universe, then I’d have to say the universe aimed rather low and settled for very little.

George Carlin

My life has been one great big joke, a dance that's walked a song that's spoke, I laugh so hard I almost choke when I think about myself.

Maya Angelou

Humor is laughing at what you haven't got when you ought to have it.

Langston Hughes

Beauty is only skin deep, but ugly goes clean to the bone.

Dorothy Parker

If you've heard this story before, don't stop me, because I'd like to hear it again.

Groucho Marx

An idealist is one who, on noticing that a rose smells better than a cabbage, concludes that it makes a better soup.

Bertrand Russell

So, please, oh please, we beg, we pray, go throw your TV set away, and in its place you can install, a lovely bookcase on the wall.

Roald Dahl

Curiouser and curiouser.

Lewis Carroll

Everywhere is within walking distance if you have the time.

Steven Wright

The comic and the tragic lie inseparably close, like light and shadow.

Socrates

Wit is the epitaph of an emotion.

Friedrich Nietzsche

Happiness is a warm puppy.

Charles M. Schulz

Humor is by far the most significant activity of the human brain.

Edward De Bono

Humor can be one of our best survival tools.

Allen Klein

Chaos in the midst of chaos isn't funny, but chaos in the midst of order is.

Steve Martin

The absolute truth is the thing that makes people laugh

Carl Reiner

A person without a sense of humor is like a wagon without springs-jolted by every pebble in the road.

Henry Ward Beecher

Anyone who thinks sitting in church can make you a Christian must also think that sitting in a garage can make you a car.

Garrison Keillor

Melancholy men are of all others the most witty.

Aristotle

If you drink much from a bottle marked 'poison' it is certain to disagree with you sooner or later.

Lewis Carroll

Laughter and tears are both responses to frustration and exhaustion. I myself prefer to laugh, since there is less cleaning do to do afterward.

Kurt Vonnegut

I don't want to go to heaven. None of my friends are there.

Oscar Wilde

Some people see things that are and ask, Why? Some people dream of things that never were and ask, Why not? Some people have to go to work and don't have time for all that.

George Carlin

In the end, everything is a gag.

Charlie Chaplin

Substitute 'damn' every time you're inclined to write 'very;' your editor will delete it and the writing will be just as it should be.

Mark Twain

Someone who makes you laugh is a comedian. Someone who makes you think and then laugh is a humorist.

George Burns

Imagination was given man to compensate for what he is not, and a sense of humor to console him for what he is.

Francis Bacon

I don't think it's possible to have a sense of tragedy without having a sense of humor.

Christopher Hitchens

Why are you worrying about YOU-KNOW-WHO, when you should be worrying about YOU-NO-POO? The constipation sensation that's gripping the nation!

J. K. Rowling

There is a thin line that separates laughter and pain, comedy and tragedy, humor and hurt.

Erma Bombeck

People of humor are always in some degree people of genius.

Samuel Taylor Coleridge

All persons, living and dead, are purely coincidental.

Kurt Vonnegut

He jests at scars that never felt a wound.

William Shakespeare

If it's a penny for your thoughts and you put in your two cents worth, then someone, somewhere is making a penny.

Steven Wright

So many books, so little time.

Frank Zappa

Reality is just a crutch for people who can't handle drugs.

Robin P. Williams

Humor is reason gone mad.

Groucho Marx

We do not take humor seriously enough.

Konrad Lorenz

This I conceive to be the chemical function of humor: to change the character of our thought.

Lin Yutang

Wit has truth in it; wisecracking is simply calisthenics with words.

Dorothy Parker

There's no trick to being humorous when you have the whole government working for you.

Will Rogers

Everything is funny as long as it is happening to somebody else.

Will Rogers

Fortune and humor govern the world.

Francois de la Rochefoucauld

We never respect those who amuse us, however we may smile at their comic powers.

Marguerite Blessington

Creativity is knowing how to hide your sources

Albert Einstein

Just remember, when you’re over the hill, you begin to pick up speed.

Charles M. Schulz

I've been accused of vulgarity. I say that's bullshit.

Mel Brooks

I have a fine sense of the ridiculous, but no sense of humor.

Edward Albee

This was not a fairy-tale castle and there was no such thing as a fairy-tale ending, but sometimes you could threaten to kick the handsome prince in the ham-and-eggs.

Terry Pratchett

If you want to know what God thinks of money, just look at the people he gave it to.

Dorothy Parker

Those are my principles, and if you don't like them...well I have others.

Groucho Marx

Adam was but human—this explains it all. He did not want the apple for the apple's sake, he wanted it only because it was forbidden. The mistake was in not forbidding the serpent; then he would have eaten the serpent.

Mark Twain

Bad humor is an evasion of reality; good humor is an acceptance of it.

Malcolm Muggeridge

Comedy is simply a funny way of being serious.

Peter Ustinov

Only Irish coffee provides in a single glass all four essential food groups: alcohol, caffeine, sugar and fat.

Alex Levin

A lady's imagination is very rapid; it jumps from admiration to love, from love to matrimony in a moment.

Jane Austen

Humor is just another defense against the universe.

Mel Brooks

There are two motives for reading a book: one, that you enjoy it; the other, that you can boast about it.

Bertrand Russell

Wit is more often a shield than a lance.

Unknown

Comedy may be big business but it isn't pretty.

Steve Martin

In the midst of the fountain of wit there arises something bitter, which stings in the very flowers.

Lucretius

To appreciate nonsense requires a serious interest in life.

Gelett Burgess

I hope you're pleased with yourselves. We could all have been killed - or worse, expelled. Now if you don't mind, I'm going to bed.

J. K. Rowling

But who prays for Satan? Who, in eighteen centuries, has had the common humanity to pray for the one sinner that needed it most?

Mark Twain

The older I grow the more I distrust the familiar doctrine that age brings wisdom.

H. L. Mencken

Anyone who takes himself too seriously always runs the risk of looking ridiculous; anyone who can consistently laugh at himself does not.

Vaclav Havel

Helloooo? I just made some changes in my life, and if I don't get back to you as soon as possible, then guess what? You were one of those changes.

Rumiko Takahashi

In theory there is no difference between theory and practice. In practice there is.

Yogi Berra

Everyone talks about the weather, but no one does anything about it.

Mark Twain

There's some heinous fuckery goin' on mon.

Christopher Moore

Burt Reynolds once asked me out. I was in his room.

Phyllis Diller

The love of truth lies at the root of much humor.

Robertson Davies

Humor is consistent with pathos, whilst wit is not.

Samuel Taylor Coleridge

Humor -- the perfect relationship of the parts to the whole.

Unknown

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Who has the best quotes? Top quotes from American, British, French, German and Spanish authors. Kurt Vonnegut quotes, Charles Bukowski quotes, Groucho Marx quotes, George Carlin quotes, Woody Allen quotes, J. K. Rowling quotes, Charlie Chaplin quotes, Mark Twain quotes, sayings and images.

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