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What are humor quotations? These quotes are handy to prepare yourself for desired humor topic. Enjoy most famous quotes that are humor and bookmark favorite ones. Improve personal well-being with following humor sayings and quotations.

What are the best humor quotes? Answer can be found below. We list the best quotations about humor of all times. Access to some new and not so well-known quotes too.

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What are the best humor images? Discover humor affirmations.

Every time you find some humor in a difficult situation, you win. - Sayings

Every time you find some humor in a difficult situation, you win. ⏤ Sayings

Every time you are able to find some humor in a difficult situation, you win. - Sayings

Every time you are able to find some humor in a difficult situation, you win. ⏤ Sayings

Never miss a good chance to shut up. - Will Rogers

Never miss a good chance to shut up. ⏤ Will Rogers

What are humor quotations about? humor is essential part of life. You need to have knowledge and control over humor in order to be successful. Save any quote to your bookmarks for futher reference.

Are humor quotations good? Ofcourse! There is no such thing as empty words. All humor sayings have inner meaning. It's your task to understand it for yourself.

Best humor quotes

Two things are infinite: the universe and human stupidity; and I'm not sure about the universe.

Albert Einstein, physicist

You may not be able to change a situation, but with humor you can change your attitude about it.

Allen Klein, businessman

If a cluttered desk is a sign of a cluttered mind, of what, then, is an empty desk a sign?

Albert Einstein, physicist

Of course motivation is not permanent. But then, neither is bathing; but it is something you should do on a regular basis.

Zig Ziglar, author

That's why they call it the American Dream, because you have to be asleep to believe it.

George Carlin, comedian

Humor is the instinct for taking pain playfully.

Max Eastman, author

Throughout history, great leaders have known the power of humor.

Allen Klein, businessman

The reason I talk to myself is because I’m the only one whose answers I accept.

George Carlin, comedian

Some people never go crazy. What truly horrible lives they must lead.

Charles Bukowski, author

Go to heaven for the climate and hell for the company.

Mark Twain, author

Through humor, you can soften some of the worst blows that life delivers. And once you find laughter, no matter how painful your situation might be, you can survive it.

Bill Cosby, comedian

The most interesting information come from children, for they tell all they know and then stop.

Mark Twain, author

Right now I’m having amnesia and déjà vu at the same time. I think I’ve forgotten this before.

Steven Wright, comedian

The Lord prefers common-looking people. That is why he made so many of them.

Abraham Lincoln, president

I take my only exercise acting as a pallbearer at the funerals of my friends who exercise regularly.

Mark Twain, author

Good humor is the health of the soul, sadness is its poison.

Lord Chesterfield, statesman

The secret to humor is surprise.

Aristotle, philosopher

My way of joking is to tell the truth. It's the funniest joke in the world.

George Bernard Shaw, dramatist

Which of us is happy in this world? Which of us has his desire? or, having it, is satisfied?

William Makepeace Thackeray, novelist

One never needs their humor as much a when they argue with a fool.

Chinese Proverbs,

If I had no sense of humor, I would long ago have committed suicide.

Mahatma Gandhi, leader

The person, be it gentleman or lady, who has not pleasure in a good novel, must be intolerably stupid.

Jane Austen, writer

Many a true word is spoken in jest.

English Proverbs,

Humor is laughing at what you haven't got when you ought to have it.

Langston Hughes, poet

If you've heard this story before, don't stop me, because I'd like to hear it again.

Groucho Marx, comedian

An idealist is one who, on noticing that a rose smells better than a cabbage, concludes that it makes a better soup.

Bertrand Russell, philosopher

Beauty is only skin deep, but ugly goes clean to the bone.

Dorothy Parker, poet

If there is anyone here whom I have not insulted, I beg his pardon.

Johannes Brahms, composer

So, please, oh please, we beg, we pray, go throw your TV set away, and in its place you can install, a lovely bookcase on the wall.

Roald Dahl, novelist

My life has been one great big joke, a dance that's walked a song that's spoke, I laugh so hard I almost choke when I think about myself.

Maya Angelou, poet

Life's hard. It's even harder when you're stupid.

John Wayne, actor

Curiouser and curiouser.

Lewis Carroll, author

Wit is the epitaph of an emotion.

Friedrich Nietzsche, philosopher

Happiness is a warm puppy.

Charles M. Schulz, cartoonist

If it’s true that our species is alone in the universe, then I’d have to say the universe aimed rather low and settled for very little.

George Carlin, comedian

Humor is by far the most significant activity of the human brain.

Edward De Bono, psychologist

The absolute truth is the thing that makes people laugh

Carl Reiner, actor

The comic and the tragic lie inseparably close, like light and shadow.

Socrates, philosopher

Everywhere is within walking distance if you have the time.

Steven Wright, comedian

Humor can be one of our best survival tools.

Allen Klein, businessman

Melancholy men are of all others the most witty.

Aristotle, philosopher

Laughter and tears are both responses to frustration and exhaustion. I myself prefer to laugh, since there is less cleaning do to do afterward.

Kurt Vonnegut, author

A person without a sense of humor is like a wagon without springs-jolted by every pebble in the road.

Henry Ward Beecher, clergyman

Someone who makes you laugh is a comedian. Someone who makes you think and then laugh is a humorist.

George Burns, comedian

In the end, everything is a gag.

Charlie Chaplin, actor

Chaos in the midst of chaos isn't funny, but chaos in the midst of order is.

Steve Martin, comedian

If you drink much from a bottle marked 'poison' it is certain to disagree with you sooner or later.

Lewis Carroll, author

I don't want to go to heaven. None of my friends are there.

Oscar Wilde, dramatist

Imagination was given man to compensate for what he is not, and a sense of humor to console him for what he is.

Francis Bacon, philosopher

People of humor are always in some degree people of genius.

Samuel Taylor Coleridge, poet

There is a thin line that separates laughter and pain, comedy and tragedy, humor and hurt.

Erma Bombeck, journalist

He jests at scars that never felt a wound.

William Shakespeare, dramatist

I don't think it's possible to have a sense of tragedy without having a sense of humor.

Christopher Hitchens, author

So many books, so little time.

Frank Zappa, musician

All persons, living and dead, are purely coincidental.

Kurt Vonnegut, author

Reality is just a crutch for people who can't handle drugs.

Robin P. Williams,

Why are you worrying about YOU-KNOW-WHO, when you should be worrying about YOU-NO-POO? The constipation sensation that's gripping the nation!

J.K. Rowling, novelist

Substitute 'damn' every time you're inclined to write 'very;' your editor will delete it and the writing will be just as it should be.

Mark Twain, author

If it's a penny for your thoughts and you put in your two cents worth, then someone, somewhere is making a penny.

Steven Wright, comedian

Anyone who thinks sitting in church can make you a Christian must also think that sitting in a garage can make you a car.

Garrison Keillor, writer

I have a fine sense of the ridiculous, but no sense of humor.

Edward Albee, dramatist

We never respect those who amuse us, however we may smile at their comic powers.

Marguerite Blessington,

Wit has truth in it; wisecracking is simply calisthenics with words.

Dorothy Parker, poet

Fortune and humor govern the world.

Francois de la Rochefoucauld, writer

Everything is funny as long as it is happening to somebody else.

Will Rogers, actor

There's no trick to being humorous when you have the whole government working for you.

Will Rogers, actor

Comedy is simply a funny way of being serious.

Peter Ustinov, actor

This I conceive to be the chemical function of humor: to change the character of our thought.

Lin Yutang, author

We do not take humor seriously enough.

Konrad Lorenz, scientist

Humor is reason gone mad.

Groucho Marx, comedian

Just remember, when you’re over the hill, you begin to pick up speed.

Charles M. Schulz, cartoonist

Only Irish coffee provides in a single glass all four essential food groups: alcohol, caffeine, sugar and fat.

Alex Levin,

Creativity is knowing how to hide your sources

Albert Einstein, physicist

If you want to know what God thinks of money, just look at the people he gave it to.

Dorothy Parker, poet

Adam was but human—this explains it all. He did not want the apple for the apple's sake, he wanted it only because it was forbidden. The mistake was in not forbidding the serpent; then he would have eaten the serpent.

Mark Twain, author

This was not a fairy-tale castle and there was no such thing as a fairy-tale ending, but sometimes you could threaten to kick the handsome prince in the ham-and-eggs.

Terry Pratchett, author

I've been accused of vulgarity. I say that's bullshit.

Mel Brooks, comedian

To appreciate nonsense requires a serious interest in life.

Gelett Burgess, author

Humor is consistent with pathos, whilst wit is not.

Samuel Taylor Coleridge, poet

The love of truth lies at the root of much humor.

Robertson Davies, novelist

Burt Reynolds once asked me out. I was in his room.

Phyllis Diller, comedian

Anyone who takes himself too seriously always runs the risk of looking ridiculous; anyone who can consistently laugh at himself does not.

Vaclav Havel, leader

In the midst of the fountain of wit there arises something bitter, which stings in the very flowers.

Lucretius, poet

Comedy may be big business but it isn't pretty.

Steve Martin, comedian

By blood a king, in heart a clown.

Alfred Lord Tennyson, poet

Humor -- the perfect relationship of the parts to the whole.

Source Unknown,

Humor is just another defense against the universe.

Mel Brooks, comedian

Bad humor is an evasion of reality; good humor is an acceptance of it.

Malcolm Muggeridge, journalist

Humor is mankind's greatest blessing.

Mark Twain, author

Don't Panic.

Douglas Adams, writer

There's some heinous fuckery goin' on mon.

Christopher Moore,

But who prays for Satan? Who, in eighteen centuries, has had the common humanity to pray for the one sinner that needed it most?

Mark Twain, author

Housework can kill you if done right.

Erma Bombeck, journalist

Everyone talks about the weather, but no one does anything about it.

Mark Twain, author

Helloooo? I just made some changes in my life, and if I don't get back to you as soon as possible, then guess what? You were one of those changes.

Rumiko Takahashi,

I hope you're pleased with yourselves. We could all have been killed - or worse, expelled. Now if you don't mind, I'm going to bed.

J.K. Rowling, novelist

A little perspective, like a little humor, goes a long way.

Allen Klein, businessman

We must laugh at man to avoid crying for him.

Napoleon Bonaparte, leader

A rich man's joke is always funny.

Thomas Edward Brown, poet

A caricature is putting the face of a joke on the body of a truth.

Joseph Conrad, novelist

The comic is the perception of the opposite; humor is the feeling of it.

Umberto Eco, novelist

A humorist is a person who feels bad, but who feels good about it.

Don Herold, writer

The funniest line in English is Get it? When you say that, everyone chortles.

Garrison Keillor, writer

A person who knows how to laugh at himself will never ceased to be amused.

Shirley Maclaine, actress

Even the gods love jokes.

Plato, philosopher

Humor is the affectionate communication of insight.

Leo Rosten, novelist

The jest loses its point when he who makes it is the first to laugh.

Friedrich von Schiller, poet

For every ten jokes you acquire a hundred enemies.

Laurence Sterne, novelist

Humor must not professedly teach and it must not professedly preach, but it must do both if it would live forever.

Mark Twain, author

Humor is a whisper from the soul, imploring mind and body to relax, let go and be at peace again.

Source Unknown,

The average man is proof enough that a woman can take a joke.

Source Unknown,

Wit is more often a shield than a lance.

Source Unknown,

You can't study comedy; it's within you. It's a personality. My humor is an attitude.

Don Rickles, comedian

Comedy has to be based on truth. You take the truth and you put a little curlicue at the end.

Sid Caesar, actor

Humor is richly rewarding to the person who employs it. It has some value in gaining and holding attention, but it has no persuasive value at all.

John Kenneth Galbraith, economist

Humor is everywhere, in that there's irony in just about anything a human does.

Bill Nye, educator

I like a man who can be a real friend, has a good sense of humor, a good pair of shoes and a healthy gold card.

Victoria Beckham, musician

Those are my principles, and if you don't like them...well I have others.

Groucho Marx, comedian

The easy confidence with which I know another man's religion is folly teaches me to suspect that my own is also.

Mark Twain, author

A lady's imagination is very rapid; it jumps from admiration to love, from love to matrimony in a moment.

Jane Austen, writer

Most books on witchcraft will tell you that witches work naked. This is because most books on witchcraft were written by men.

Neil Gaiman, author

George Bush isn't Hitler. He could be if he applied himself.

Margaret Cho, comedian

What year did Jesus think it was?

George Carlin, comedian

Meow” means “woof” in cat.

George Carlin, comedian

Do you know what breakfast cereal is made of? It's made of all those little curly wooden shavings you find in pencil sharpeners!

Roald Dahl, novelist

Exactly! said Deep Thought. So once you do know what the question actually is, you'll know what the answer means.

Douglas Adams, writer

When trouble arises and things look bad, there is always one individual who perceives a solution and is willing to take command. Very often, that individual is crazy.

Dave Barry, journalist

If toast always lands butter-side down, and cats always land on their feet, what happens if you strap toast on the back of a cat and drop it?

Steven Wright, comedian

The problem with winter sports is that -- follow me closely here -- they generally take place in winter.

Dave Barry, journalist

A poor joke must invent its own laughter.


The role of a comedian is to make the audience laugh, at a minimum of once every fifteen seconds.

Lenny Bruce, comedian

Comedy is a tragedy plus time.

Carol Burnett, actress

Jests that give pains are no jests.

Miguel de Cervantes, novelist

A wise man will live as much within his wit as within his income.

Lord Chesterfield, statesman

Levity is often less foolish and gravity less wise than each of them appears.

Charles Caleb Colton, writer

You can turn painful situations around through laughter. If you can find humor in anything - even poverty - you can survive it.

Bill Cosby, comedian

Wit ought to be a glorious treat like caviar; never spread it about like marmalade.

Noel Coward, playwright

Wit is the salt of conversation, not the food.

William Hazlitt, critic

Man is the only animal that laughs and weeps, for he is the only animal that is struck with the difference between what things are and what they ought to be.

William Hazlitt, critic

There is always some frivolity in excellent minds; they have wings to rise, but also stray.

Joseph Joubert, writer

An Irishman needs three things : silence, cunnning, and exile.

James Joyce, novelist

Be not affronted at a joke. If one throw salt at thee, thou wilt receive no harm, unless thou art raw.


Humor distorts nothing, and only false gods are laughed off their earthly pedestals.

Agnes Repplier, writer

What some people invent the rest enlarge.

Jonathan Swift, writer

As a person is so must you humor them.

Terence, writer

Humor is emotional chaos remembered in tranquility.

James Thurber, comedian

Our five senses are incomplete without the sixth -- a sense of humor.

Source Unknown,

A well-developed sense of humor is the pole that adds balance to your step as you walk the tightrope of life.

William Arthur Ward, writer

Get well cards have become so humorous that if you don't get sick you're missing half the fun.

Flip Wilson, comedian

Wit - the salt with which the American humorist spoils his intellectual cookery by leaving it out.

Ambrose Bierce, journalist

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Famous authors of humor quotes

Who has the best quotes? Top quotes from American, British, French, German and Spanish authors. 580 Mark Twain quotes, 102 Groucho Marx quotes, 97 Dave Barry quotes, 96 Steven Wright quotes, sayings and images.

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Mark Twain quotes 580 humor quotes
Groucho Marx quotes 102 humor quotes
Dave Barry quotes 97 humor quotes
Steven Wright quotes 96 humor quotes


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